Jack Monroe #176 Autistics, gays, difference and success

[colouredlines]

Now I think we all know that Jack has her triple pens out and she’s filling 16 sides of A4 pages out with the inevitable press conference she’ll deliver later today.

Live from Southend, Jack Monroe, food writer: ‘How I helped my bestie Haz deal with his grief. His grandfather is DEAD like mine.’

When I was a single mum on the dole in a freezing flat, watching my toddler eat the last weetabix, I never dreamed that I would one day rub shoulders with Prince Harry. But the truth is, we have a lot in common. Both of our grandfathers were Greek immigrants. We're both military round the edges. We both have endless respect for Her Majesty the Queen. And now, both of our grandfathers are DEAD.

As Harry had once helped me deal with the issue of my nudes marauding around the internet, I knew I had to help him. I DMed him my recipe for Grief Goulash with corned beef and plenty of back pepper. Soon I heard back: "Soz Jacko, no can do, Megs is vegan!" "Don't worry," I told him, "the vegan version is coming soon."

 

[Begborrowsteal]

YOU WENT TO ACCIDENT AND EMERGENCY COS YOU PUT TOO MUCH EYE MAKE UP ON.

Omg. Dickhead.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Congratulations to @Thank(space)you for the thread title!
Welcome to thread 176 ninnies and dear hearts.
So Jack is in a mystery location with a mystery house mate
She lauded the wonderland of Nisa Local another non chain independent local retailer.
She seems to have recovered from the ring of fire but we don't know if Lidocaine was involved.
Sarah Manavis dropped a devastatingly shit article about Tattle full of predictable bollocks. Jack was nowhere to be seen.
Jack has returned and put her business/ Tory/Pauline with all the pens hat on.
The cross party commission have wheeled out their fave pov princess with masculine leaning aesthetic to elbow Nye Bevan out the way and redesign the benefits system.
Jack is cramming before the conference by crowdsourcing on Twitter. Expect a nudge hiss erosion.

Spoiler: Housekeeping

Spoiler: Housekeeping
*]
Please use the words ‘thread title’ (two separate words) when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search. Also, try to hold off to the latter part of the thread if possible (after post #500). And remember - no swears are allowed.

There is a thread in the off topic forum called Food and Drink where off topic chat is encouraged if / when Jack is quiet.

New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

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“I’ll not say too much” a quote from the woman who was live tweeting her bout of the shits on Monday.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Mel Donte]

I've figured out what Jack's serious political face reminds me of

 

[MancBee]

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There is no way a Conservative government will entertain universal basic income. NO WAY.

It proves how naïve and full of her own importance Jack is, she truly believes they will listen to her and act on her recommendations.

UBI is not something she has thought of, not something that the government doesn't know about, or something that would ever be considered by a right wing party.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Silver Linings]

Jesus christ. The ‘owies’. How many times did people tell her to go to the doctor and she bit their heads off while necking all kinds of medicine that probably had so many nasty side effects.

 

[Satisfying Click]

So you've had a 'marble-sized lump in the jaw for a year? And now you need a CT scan

But wait!

On 2nd September 2020, Jack went to A&E with the infamous black eye and had... a head CT - and this lump was not mentioned to the medical team, nor picked up by the scan?

 

[Nottonightbabe]

OT again, just heard Prince Philip passed away. Wonder what Jack's reaction will be?

Give her a week and we'll find out.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Mr Krabs]

What? They make top 100 pupil lists now? How the fuck would you even go about compiling that sort of list?

That's some Jay from the Inbetweeners levels of bullshit.

 

[Hollaaa]

Saw this (on the internet, have not broken lockdown), reminded me of here

 

[Fraggle]

I’m sorry, but her latest picture reminds me of Judge Rinder (but more hair)

 

[Legionnairess]

Little bit of kick back from squiggles to Jack this morning. No doubt she has already blocked them.

 

[Silver Linings]

NOT TWENTY YEARS LATER.

 

[EllaEm87]

I’m actually just so furious aboht her NI posting I might spontaneously combust. I’m sure other Irish/Ni fraus feel the same. I know there are several fraus from different backgrounds here and I just want to say that given all the shit that is happening right now with riots I know we can all come together. I know there are a few fraus from different NI backgrounds and the English fraus may not get it but I would love to have a wee chat.

poca im sorry for off topic but I hope u understand x

I’m fuming at her, surface level and jokey, really Jack? A witty quip does not an NI expert make.

Spoiler: OT

I’m slap bang between two of the rioting areas, couple of miles each side of me. It’s harrowing. Heartbreaking. We don’t need this again.
Young lads out chucking petrol bombs, adults cheering them on. At what age does one acquire a balaclava? Is it handed down when a lad turns 13 from father to son? I understand the anger, I really do, but this behaviour would be absolutely shocking anywhere else in the U.K. I can’t even imagine it where I live (off back tomorrow)
The rare occasion anyone in England has asked me about the Troubles I’ve felt proud to say how far we’ve come the last 20 years, how lovely Belfast is now with its regeneration, and recommend visiting. I’m really, really disappointed

 

[LavaFlake]

Top 100 pupils in the COUNTRY. Diagnosis: gifted.

 

[lilamay]

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'must'nt be dry'...

Jack's lasagne: