Ioan Gruffudd & Alice Evans #93 Give a man some peace and he will thrive. 🖤

[Mad Betty]

Raise your hand if you firmly believe that Ioan is following the advice of his lawyers who are well versed in PA and Domestic abuse divorce cases and is painfully playing the long game so he can safely and legally see his daughters again.

 

[Mad Betty]

Today is a good day. Someone who regularly posts abusive things about Ioan and Bianca and has attempted to dox Tattle members has had their account locked for said behavior. No need to discuss. Just know it has happened.

Brothers and sisters unite in a small moment of justice.

 

[Leaklegumes]

Hello Turdles

I am yet another long-time-lurker-first-time-poster. It's been a full-time job just keeping up-to-date with these threads until the recent slowdown (I can't just skip bits, have to read every damn word - thanks rabid posters!)

I've been seething about AE since this whole thing started, wondering why the feck couldn't people see through her 'woe is me' facade, especially after Amber Heard's very public introduction to how vile and manipulative a female partner could be. However, last night's video has troubled me. For the first time, I see a woman on the edge, genuinely emotional and losing a grip on her place in the world, desperately clutching at whatever she can to regain some stability. I don't think those are crocodile tears at all, they're very different to her previous watery dramatics.

I have a hypothesis: menopause is a bastard in so many ways, but for me the most insidious is its exacerbation of pre-existing mental health conditions. We don't know the ins and outs of her own upbringing, but it undoubtedly wasn't stable and secure, so Alice likely coped in whatever way she could, which was probably a lot easier as a very beautiful young woman with the world at her feet. I don't know about the rest of you Turdles, but I'm not thrilled with the effect that gravity and the diminishing of collagen is having on my previously fresh and toned body, and what's with this shit of just looking at a Dominos large pizza and I'm up a jeans size eh? Luckily, I was brought up in an environment which values what's within, so I dread to think what someone like Alice, whose 'worth' has been so intrinsically linked to her appearance is going through.

Regarding her comments about people not wanting to be mothers/parents - maybe she's talking about herself? I don't have kids, and I feel daily the silent (and sometimes not-so-silent) judgement/questioning about why I'm motherless at 45. I know plenty of women who have had kids because that's what's expected, and sadly, not all of us benefit from the rush of hormones that make us instantly maternal after giving birth. What if she was desperate for kids to 'fix' herself, rectify her own mother's mistakes, have someone to unconditionally love her, but has struggled with motherhood ever since? And this is on top of an existing MH condition? At what point do we stop feeling pity for those who've experienced emotional hardship (as AE may well have done) which makes them develop into flawed adults? Is this AE's fault, or is she a victim too?

Finally, regarding IG being 'weak' (I know, I know, ignore and block the trolls ...) - this triggered me massively. I worked so hard for so many years to rewrite the internal narrative of 'it's your fault, you didn't leave, you deserved this, you made him the way he was', and I'll have to continue to work at this for the rest of my life and probably never fully recover. Abusers are extremely skilled at manipulating kindness in others into 'weakness'; Ioan may well have been 'weak' at the end of his relationship with Alice, but that's because he was kind and caring to start with and that's not weakness at all.

That's all folks. Sorry for the epic post, I just had to get this off my sagging chest. I'll probably be back to RAGING against AE tomorrow, but I listened to a spectacular podcast earlier (Blindboy - look it up, the man's a legend) and it's made me come over all soft and forgiving. As you were Turdles! XX

OOo shit, forgot a couple of bits - that house looks lived-in, and yes a little grubby, but it's seems a lot more homely and normal for a household with two young kids than somewhere pristine! Ditto to the girls' appearance - it's GREAT that they're looking naturally dishevelled! Poor lasses have a lifetime of suffering filters/expectations/media projections of how women should look, and the fact that they're not immaculately groomed is a big tick for me for sure. Just imagine if the poor girls were constantly made to feel like they should be perfectly-presented at all times? That's fucked up.

Just take a look at any kid after lunchbreak at school - they look just like those girls. Please don't judge their happiness.

 

[sh1tsandgiggles]

Oh, I agree she needs rehab 100 percent. My opinion was it won't happen. She doesn't acknowledge a problem, ever, and doesn't appear to drink and drive with her kids where she would be forced to undergo rehab. I know people who drink a lot at night and are very successful in their jobs during the day. And they will never go to rehab. It's what they look forward to at night, getting very buzzed and in some instances blotto. And one woman in our neighborhood gets blotto late in the evening after their kids go to bed. She takes her bottle of wine into a room where she plays video games. Her husband, a very successful businessman, doesn't acknowledge there is a problem, because then he would have to give up his drink at night and his pot. But the wife is definitely losing brain cells while drunk. It's sad, but there are a lot of people in suburbia who are drinking a lot and will never acknowledge a problem or get rehab. They justify that they don't have a problem because they aren't out drinking and driving or drinking during the day.

So my point was if she could at least cut back. Cutting back could happen if she would go to bed at a decent hour and not continue on into the wee hours drinking, embarrassing herself by posting on twitter or videos. Maybe you're right. Maybe cutting back isn't possible. I don't know. I've never had a drinking problem.

I’ve had a drink problem in the past…. and I can unflinchingly tell you all that her current look “issues” can ALL be drink related.

The poor foundation application- her skin is so dehydrated it’s sucking in whatever moisture it can find! Thats causing the “flaky bits” she Keeps telling us she needs the filters to hide. The shit lipstick is obviously heavily handedly applied, also there’s plenty of photos of her with flaky lips under her lipstick (see above on dehydration). There’s also the red/yellowing eyes, hoping it’s not liver related jaundice and too late to reverse.

Another massive tell is her hair situation. This can be due to poor absorption of vitamins and minerals, and again hydration. The weight gain and fluid retention around her middle/ ankles- ascites.

once youre at this stage you’re feeling pretty negative and hopeless to be fair. Each day rolls into the next. The evening wineathon can start getting earlier and earlier.

I hope Alice reads this and makes a change. I did it Alice! It’s not easy at all but it can be done. Go to your gp, get your blood work taken and analysed. Take baby steps then when you start feeling better use that as the catalyst to run with it, feel amazing and healthy. It will give you such a sense of pride and achievement!

Also, if anyone reading this feels like reaching out if you’re feeling in a similar place that I was, I’m always here. please reach out

 

[NarcRage]

It takes a special kind of psychopath to disregard the wishes of a parent who is grieving the tragic loss of a child.

 

[Mad Betty]

1. I think IG abs BW are still in Wales with his family.

2. I think the girls have been weaponized against him.

3. I think there is pressure for IG to drop the RO with possible threats. See family behavior. Things seem particularly volatile at present.

4. Those of us who live here in Los Angeles know IG can't swoop in and snatch his kids. Hell to the no to the no no.

5. Great minds don't all think alike.

6. Detoxing from long term alcohol dependency will cause symptoms that can mimic a myriad of illnesses.

To skip this message in the future press the * sign.

 

[SynthGirl]

Even off alcohol, her mean and vindictive personality would still be there. She might be able to get healthier and control herself more on twitter, etc., and be more employable off of alcohol, but her viciousness towards Ioan is not because of alcohol. She sees nothing wrong in any of her behavior. She might be able to contain some of her attacks on him if sober, but that's only some. She wasn't drunk when she acted like a crazy person in the parking lot. Her viciousness towards her father and stepmother for decades shows that. Her horrible comments about his mother shows that. Her horrible, cruel, passive-aggressive tribute written about her stepsister's suicide took time and effort to craft, so wasn't written by a drunk Alice. Her complete lies about Ioan, trying to destroy him, is a trait she has had for her entire life when she perceives someone as her enemy.

She is a narcissist also. She could be helped by therapy if she had any insight into her issues, but she has zero insight and refuses to believe she causes a lot of the chaos in her life and probably drops any therapist who tries to hold her accountable. Instead she talks about how the therapists blame Ioan for everything and lies about what therapists tell her, how amazing she is, blah, blah, blah. She lies and attacks. I find her scary. Getting off alcohol would be a good thing for her, true, but the ugliness in Alice is there. Until she addresses that, Ioan's life in co-parenting will always be hell.

 

[Twelve12]

Reminds me of an IG post about Yo being reluctant to kiss her ? as she had toothpaste residue around her mouth?
And she had the bloody nerve to post publicly about him not being able to get it up. Nasty bitch. No surprise with what he had to face everyday.
I am immune to her as all I see is a nasty self serving serial abuser who is finally maybe reaping what she has sown for years.
I agree with @claudiarocks - I can't forget all she has done to the girls, Yo, B, his family, her dad & step mum & even complete strangers. All my sympathy & empathy is for her (many) victims.

Agree completely!

Y'know, in all of this Alice has been a cautionary tale to me. I put on a lot of weight post becoming a mum and since the pandemic as I had long covid, well I'm still dealing with some of those issues. I don't drink but I love food and I definitely reach for the bad stuff (carbs and sweet things) when I'm stressed or upset which has been a lot with all the health shit. So I see Alice and relate to how she looks in terms of too much belly fat and facial weight gain. I used to be attractive (I was always told) but do not feel like me at all these days. Like Alice I have to sort out health and weight. It makes me sad and clearly it upsets her given her obsession with filters and looking back at how she used to look. I'm mid 40s and it isn't a joke to be overweight. Total merail sorry!

Alice has been a cautionary tale for me as well! Since I began reading this last year, I was motivated to began exercising (have lost 35 pounds since last July) and taking better care of myself. I am also in my 40's...for 3 more weeks I also suffer from MS and had a massive heart attack at 45. This site and everyone's stories, sharing and caring has made a great difference for me and I love it. Plus, my doc is soooooo happy with my weight loss. BTW, I finally, finally and finally moved up to "Member" from new member! Wahoooooooooo!!!

 

[Mrs Migglesworth]

Long time lurker. I can confirm that Yo and are still in Wales, I almost walked into them in a Cardiff store about 2 hours ago.

 

[Mad Betty]

I've been thinking about Alice and the challenges she's facing. I know leaving a family home can be really painful, but it can also be wonderfully liberating. I was in North Hollywood last week and there are some really lovely areas with homes for sale and for rent. It's right over the hill from West Hollywood in the Valley and the lots tend to be bigger with lots of tree lined streets. And there are amazing thrift stores in the Valley. I know she loves a good thrift store as much as I do.

She mentioned not long ago that she'd stopped drinking. I just want to add to my previous post by saying I think anyone who makes the decision to stop drinking when they're had a problem deserves a handclap. That's no small feat. Ioan did it and he seems to be thriving. Removing that which no longer serves us is a serious step in the right direction. So I'll tip my hat to her if she's really done it. Damn right I will.

Still wishing for a peaceful resolution, despite everything that's happened. And I do appreciate the varying perspectives here. We all come to the table with our own lived experiences.

Which brings me to my final thought. I spent my younger years having hot, gorgeous men as lovers. I considered myself a bit of a manizer, I cannot lie. In hindsight - and with thanks to Alice - I now realize that it must have been due my amazing kinetic pussy.

 

[Howdy]

Y'know, in all of this Alice has been a cautionary tale to me. I put on a lot of weight post becoming a mum and since the pandemic as I had long covid, well I'm still dealing with some of those issues. I don't drink but I love food and I definitely reach for the bad stuff (carbs and sweet things) when I'm stressed or upset which has been a lot with all the health shit. So I see Alice and relate to how she looks in terms of too much belly fat and facial weight gain. I used to be attractive (I was always told) but do not feel like me at all these days. Like Alice I have to sort out health and weight. It makes me sad and clearly it upsets her given her obsession with filters and looking back at how she used to look. I'm mid 40s and it isn't a joke to be overweight. Total merail sorry!

 

[Just William]

Gonna try for a brief recap.

Still mostly quiet on the Alice front though you can hear her chomping at the bit waiting for the 'ridiculous' TRO to be lifted so she can finally speak out. Gawd knows what she considers the last year or so's worth of bile if not speaking out but hey it's Alice we're talking about.
She's still claiming there's lots to still be revealed -

Alice treated us all to an old IG video she thought hilarious it wasn't of her wearing a hideous elephant trunk like hair drying contraption, pretended she couldn't see & calling for help, interrupted Yo from eating yet despite apparently not being able to see anything she still managed to get an unwilling Yo on camera.

*see @claudiarocks new avatar for reference to the contraption*

Then she shared a post declaring the pic was "the real me" with no make up but lots of filters as she looked years younger, much slimmer & once again had her now (in)famous alien eyes. Why? Just why?
There was some brief incoherent rambling with a new word added to our turd log (WAFT) & apparently Yo leaving her was (still) a shock.

In other news ... Yo returned to Wales. Cute lambs, a Bear photo, a few more lovely fan selfies with Yo still wearing his beloved leather jacket but with less stubble. Did he clip or did ?! He's looking good & relaxed & is a mighty fine tree according to some turds.

Can't remember anything else right now. Feel free to add anything I forgot!

 

[katylouclay]

Unless you’re immediate family - parent, child, spouse, sibling - talking about the specifics of someone’s suicide on a public platform is horrifying (unless you are asked to by said family). In any other way, no one wants your views on it. They are redundant and self serving. Talking about the method of someone’s death is abhorrent. It serves no purpose in respect to that persons memory. It is the height of disrespect. I read that post and felt so much compassion for Stephanie and her mother. Which the poster did not intend. Indefensible.

 

[TheNotoriousManzana]

Unless you’re immediate family - parent, child, spouse, sibling - talking about the specifics of someone’s suicide on a public platform is horrifying (unless you are asked to by said family). In any other way, no one wants your views on it. They are redundant and self serving. Talking about the method of someone’s death is abhorrent. It serves no purpose in respect to that persons memory. It is the height of disrespect. I read that post and felt so much compassion for Stephanie and her mother. Which the poster did not intend. Indefensible.

It's - I don't have the words, really. My former boyfriend committed suicide. His partner at that time didn't share specifics and I don't wish to know any. I think it is the hardest way of all to lose a person and I think a child is the hardest person of all to lose. So I feel very deep compassion for Stephanie's mother.

 

[Just William]

Alice's description of her step mum is Alice projecting.

I wish the media would highlight poor Alice's rotten luck in having a Narc step mum, a Narc STBX MIL, a Narc STBX husband & his gf is a psychopath!
I mean, what are the odds?!

 

[welp]

If malice’s step mum was as narcissistic as she says , then she wouldn’t have kept quiet over the last 18 months would she, she would’ve been talking to the press, me thinks malice is telling porky pies again.

I actually feel very sorry for her step mum and dad, I can’t imagine how awful it is to lose a child and then to be seeing the story of her suicide rehashed in the papers and on the internet being used for sympathy by a woman who had nothing to do with her

If I was the stepmom I wouldnt be able to hold back. Same for Bianca. And Ioan's mom was also too nice when the press approached her

Somehow Alice has three female "Narcs" in her life who behave lightyears more civilized than her. what are the chances?

 

[katylouclay]

It's - I don't have the words, really. My former boyfriend committed suicide. His partner at that time didn't share specifics and I don't wish to know any. I think it is the hardest way of all to lose a person and I think a child is the hardest person of all to lose. So I feel very deep compassion for Stephanie's mother.

Yes. I hear you. My very dear cousin killed himself. It destroyed my aunt and uncle. To this day (it was 15 yrs ago) we don’t talk about him unlesss my aunt wants to. It’s her prerogative. He was her son. As much as I loved him, and miss him, that trumps all. I will honor her wishes until she is no longer here. Even then, I will struggle to ever talk about the manner of his death. Don’t get me wrong .. his life, we talk about non stop. He was special. But my aunt dictates how we discuss his death. As it should be.

 

[claudiarocks]

is she waiting for Ioan and Bianca to break up first or what lol
View attachment 1196777
(in fairness she is right in the sense that the kids hate him too much to stay with him lol)

You know something I’ve never ever disparaged my kids dads to them … and my husband had an affair ! And we still just went ‘ let’s split’ ? And like adults we did. the fact she thinks it’s a win that she’s turned them against him makes me physically feel sick and sad like I’ve tears typing this …. Cause I only care about those two girls and I know he does massively and I will put my house on that he would never slag her to them

 

[ZipSilver]

Her biggest problem imo (apart from who she is inside) is the addiction.

She's unable to make any positive steps towards planning their future because her brain is so impaired constantly. Every time she feels a twinge of emotional pain, she reaches for the booze (or something else). It dulls it briefly, but leaves her incapable of reasonable, rational thought and planning. She sobers up, feels even worse because of the hangover and depressant qualities of alcohol, has a drink to cope, rinse and repeat.

It genuinely is scary to see that most recent video, where are the girls? It's broad daylight. Are they at school? If they are, they'll surely be coming home soon. To an either drunk or asleep parent. I remember so clearly when my mum was drinking she'd put on this high sing song voice to pretend everything was normal and happy and okay. For like two years I only heard that voice. It was only visiting her in hospital once when she had dried out that I got such a shock to my system hearing her normal voice, I'd forgotten it existed.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: your body can't take very much abuse as a middle aged woman. It took 2-3yr for my mum at Alice's age to go from drinking a couple of glasses of wine per night to drinking herself to death. It's no time at all. You don't have forever to get on top of this Alice, it's pretty acute. I have such a sick feeling when I see her drunk posts. I can see things ending very badly for Alice.

 

[Mad Betty]

So help me understand this.

Alice dedicated an entire Instragram post to her brother Tony saying he is her 'favorite man in the whole world' for his birthday, yes?

The same man who regularly targets Bianca on his SM and attempts to dox and also actually doxxed people in support of Alice? Because it seems to me that she is then actively supporting his behavior, yes? And didn't she not long ago dox someone on her Instagram and then immediately delete it?

Interesting.

So she is engaging in this behavior with him, yes? Because I would not call my own brother my favorite man in the world on my SM to my tens of thousands of followers if he was engaging in harmful and perhaps even illegal behavior that could potentially affect my child custody and divorce settlement outcomes, especially with a restraining order is in place for abuse that very specifically includes abuse through others. No, I'd actually demand that he stop immediately, as most decent and honorable people would do.

What say you? Because this is what always stops me cold when it comes to having empathy for Alice. Because I reserve my empathy for truly decent and honorable people.