W
Wow, so this has changed to a Yobee bashing huh?
Weak in what way exactly? That he broke after years of abuse and torment from someone who claimed to love him? Or weak for escaping and meeting someone who actually makes him happy?
Because I'm genuinely interested in how you can possibly cal him a weak character considering his bravery from escaping an abusive marriage. Seems to me that makes him strong. Regardless of who he is with now he is a survivor. Perhaps you would do well to remember that.
Well said.
Weak in that he didn’t have enough resolve to leave when he was unhappy without a new girlfriend to hold his hand and help him.
Hadn’t realised tattle was exclusively a pro-Ioan site
IG/AE relationship was evidently fucked up, you do wonder how much of AE behaviour was enabled by IG tho. 20 years smacks of codependency. And interestingly he’s swapped supporting/propping up AE who clearly has her own problems for BW who has MS and who knows what knock on psychological impact from that. I think he has to be emotionally reliant on someone who needs him.
It's not a pro-Ioan site but most here are against victim blaming & there's no doubt Ioan was abused for a significant length of time.
He was clearly unhappy for a long time but so under her coercive control it took him a long time to deal with it.
You're right about their relationship being fucked up & that's on Alice. I agree about the co-dependency/enabling.
The latter happens cos' it can take a very long time, years in a lot of cases, before the victim even realises that they are being abused.
(I speak from personal experience.)
It's human nature to give the benefit of the doubt/hope things will get better, etc add in residual love, guilt etc & Narcs are THE experts at manipulation & gaslighting. Add children into the mix & they're another reason to stay as long as possible.
He told Alice several times over the years how he felt & she always ignored him. He tried for a long time but finally had enough. Like many turds I believe it was through his working away (from her toxicity) that he slowly began to get clarity over their marriage & see it for what it was & that he was the continued victim of abuse.
Knowing how aggressive & confrontational she can be with complete strangers we can only imagine what she put him through when he found the courage to tell her he no longer loved her & was leaving. That wasn't weakness, that took courage. Nobody was there helping him.
ETA it spoke volumes that for his own safety he needed a police escort when he returned for his belongings.
He has stood firm in the face of a relentless year long + campaign of hate & PA from a Narc who is hell bent on destroying every aspect of his being. Had he been weak he would have gone back to her & the girls.
His applying to the courts for a TRO & therefore admitting he had been abused took enormous courage IMO as men don't get the sympathy & understanding that women are granted. That can't have been an easy decision to make as he's a very private person.
Has he made mistakes? Sure, he's not perfect but he was/is the victim of a vicious Narc & I think he has shown a lot of courage in the face of all he's
been forced to endure & we only know the tip of the iceberg. He has lots more evidence. That he clicked with a woman also escaping an abusive marriage likely helped them both survive. Abuse does serious damage to one's MH. I don't begrudge either of them the support & comfort that has likely brought to them both.
As for him needing to be with someone who needs him, you may be right, he certainly comes across to me as a kind caring guy & perhaps within his personality is an element of being the white knight, who knows? I just know (speaking as a victim of emotional abuse & also a victim of a Narc) that he has shown a lot of courage & he still has a mountain to climb & a STBXW from hell who will never stop.
I'm not even sure I will have another relationship.
