Three years and she's still banging on about this. For the love of Pete, she really should move on already. The only reason we are all still here commenting is because she turned a run of the mill middle aged divorce into a crazy circus with her vindictiveness. I hope this get resolved soon so that she can fade into obscurity.
Ioan Gruffudd & Alice Evans #194 Ms Evans throws her weight behind Tattle Lite.
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I wanted to laugh at this, but its not funny, well it is, but you know its another costGuys! Guys! Just took my car to the garage because the engine was making a funny smell. You know what they found???
MICE DROPPINGS! Am I Alice now?
After an almighty tantrum about the positioning of her table – which is too far away from the main cast she rightfully belongs to – Alice is awaiting her fans, decked out in all her finery: her sublime golden ankle boots, her sturdy horse blanket flattering wrap woven of Ladakhi cashmere, her understated black glasses and smudged shimmering crimson lipstick. The 5-minute workouts she has done every other week for the past month have paid off – she looks better than ever and is ready to re-ignite her brilliant career.
She casts an oblique glance at the growing crowd gathered around Joseph Morgan and Sebastian Roché at the center of the room; there are even people at the tables of these obscure supporting actors whose names she can never remember. Her nostrils flare as she grabs the intern, who has just placed a bottle of water on her table, by the arm.
A: Do these people even know I’m here? Here, AT THE BACK OF THE ROOM?
I: Yes, ma’am. Every visitor receives a floor plan at the entrance.
A: So why is no one coming to see ME? I’m Esther bloody Mikaelson! I’m the Original Witch!
The intern clears her throat and grabs the water bottles tighter.
I: Erm ... I guess people are just ... saving the best for last?
A: Get me your boss. Whoever placed me here. I want to talk to them. NOW.
I: Yes, ma’am. I’ll just deliver the water to the tables and–
A: Are you DEAF? What did I just say?
Some fans at the neighboring tables are starting to look over. Like the chameleonic thespian she has been all her life, Alice lets her face light up while she pats the intern’s arm.
A: Of course, dear! Just ask him to stop by whenever you have a moment. Thank you for all the hard work you’re doing!
The intern forces a smile and hurries off. Meanwhile, two women approach Alice’s table with “Team Originals” canvas totes. They look excited and a little awe-struck. Alice suppresses a groan and flashes a smile.
A: Hello, ladies. Would you like me to sign your bags?
W1: Oh, that would be wonderful! We loved you so much as Esther!
W2: And in the Dalmatians movie too! You and Mr Fantastic are married, right? Such a handsome guy – you’re one lucky woman!
Alice’s smile wavers the tiniest bit. She grabs a Sharpie and holds out her hand for the totes.
W2: Is your husband here? We’d really love to meet him and get a selfie!
Alice drops the Sharpie. A faint hint of her smile remains, but her voice quivers with barely controlled wrath.
A: Do you live under a rock?
W2: Sorry, what–
A: Listen, Suzy Homemaker, educate yourself before asking idiotic questions! My HUSBAND has taken up with a horse-teethed bogan from an Australian trailer park who thinks she’s hot tit. She’s ruined four marriages, but she sure as hell isn’t going to ruin mine. My Baby Angel wuvs me to pieces, ALWAYS AND FOREVER!
The women stare at Alice in shock while other visitors start gathering around to see what the commotion is about. Alice grabs thevodka water bottle she bought after it was recommended on an obscure website named tattle.life and hectically gulps down a large swig. Someone in the crowd raises their voice.
V: I thought you recently got divorced, Alice?
All color drains from Alice’s face.
A: Who said that? SHOW YOURSELF!
Nothing happens.
A: I don’t answer to anonymous FUCKOS, but let me tell you something – the judicial system in California is corrupt, unfair and plain WRONG, so I don’t consider their decisions binding! I’m NOT divorced! My HUSBAND is being kept from coming back to me by this bleeping witch with her KINETIC FANNY! He’s a HOSTAGE, that’s what he is! He’s WANTED ME BACK from day one!
The event manager approaches Alice’s table, his hands raised in an appeasing gesture as he bows apologetically to the ever-growing crowd.
EM: Alice, I’m sure no one meant any disrespect. Why don’t we all settle down and enjoy what brought us here in the first place – our love for the TVD/TO universe? What do you think?
A: Says the moron who placed me in the darkest, remotest corner of the room! HA!
Whispers of “wonder why” and “apparently not dark enough” begin to fill the air. The manager forces a smile-adjacent grimace.
EM: I apologize. We can remedy that right away – I’m sure ...
He scans the crowd and sees Joseph Morgan roll his eyes and give an inconspicuous nod.
EM: I’m sure Joseph will be happy to trade tables. There, how’s that? Problem solved?
A: Erm ... well, I guess. If we add top billing for the afterparty, that is.
EM: I would love to accommodate you, Alice, but the thing is that all the posters and materials have already been printed, so that could be a bit of an issue. But we can–
Alice’s eyes freeze over. She grabs the Sharpie and, with astonishing precision, hurls it at a cardboard cutout of the Original Family. Her thick, black glasses slide down her nose as she stomps her foot, kicking the cutout and sending it flying across the room.
A: I’m ESTHER! I made them all into vampires, duck! If it weren’t for me, none of them would even BE here!
Sebastian Roché walks towards her with measured steps, his voice low and calming, a reassuring smile on his face.
S: Alice, dear. You do know that this is a TV show we’re talking about, don’t you? We did not actually create vampires, and we aren’t a thousand years old. Come, let’s go grab a cup of coffee and catch up, all right?
A: I can’t believe this – you of all people, Seb? YOU’RE ONE OF THEM?
S: Them?
A: Those crazy FUCKOS that want to destroy me and my girls! They’re after me, my brother Tone, who met his lovely wife RACH at my wedding, and even my poor, innocent dog! They keep spreading these lies about me being divorced, about all the terrible things I’m supposed to have said and done, and all that after I’ve spent my life being nothing but kind and loving towards EVERYONE I’VE EVER MET! Even BIANCA THE BOGAN! And now these lunatics got you too!
S: Alice, who on earth are you talking about?
A: Them! The bleeping EVIL TATTLERS!
While Sebastian gives Alice another gentle, if confused, smile, the manager slowly recedes into the crowd and dials 911.
S: Tell us more about those, ahm, Tattlers, okay? Maybe we can sort this out together.
A: Like you don’t know! You’ve probably been in on this from the start; you’re–
Her eyes widen with a sudden surge of panic. She takes two steps back and shakes her head like a wetBubba Bear puppy dog while she grips the table for support.
A: OMG, you’re ... you’re WELP! Of course! I always knew it was a guy, and now everything makes sense! You’ve been Welp all along! You’ve founded Tattle, hired the Bogan, bribed the courts and kicked me out of my house! And all JUST BECAUSE I TURNED YOU DOWN!
S: Okay, Alice, I don’t know who or what Welp is, but let’s at least stay honest about who turned who down, shall we?
The wailing of approaching sirens fuses with Alice’s roar of indignation and the agitated murmurs of the crowd. Like a deer in the headlights, she stares at Sebastian, then at the throngs of people who are gaping back at her with varying degrees of consternation. She knows she is outnumbered. She must run. She must live to fight Welp and the Tattlers another day. With one final, all-consuming battle cry, shewaddles races towards the fire exit, just in time to see the ambulance crew entering the room – too late. Alice EvansGruff has outsmarted them all, as ever.
Joseph Morgan joins Sebastian to give him a pat on the shoulder.
J: Should have taken one for the team back then, mate. Might have saved us all a lot of trouble.
S: Someone did take one for the team, remember? It didn’t save us from any trouble whatsoever.
J: Fair point. By the way, I heard that her ex is moving back to the UK. Looks like he’s landed the lead in some major project over there, and his new wife gets writing credits.
S: Oh dear. Let’s hope Ioan has managed to put at least one ocean between them by the time Alice hears about this.
They chuckle before returning to their tables. Neither of them notices the bulky shape melting into the shadows of the fire exit behind them. Neither of them hears it whispering, “Tone? Round up the Massive. Get the garage ready. Baby Angel is coming home. WE’RE coming home.”
She casts an oblique glance at the growing crowd gathered around Joseph Morgan and Sebastian Roché at the center of the room; there are even people at the tables of these obscure supporting actors whose names she can never remember. Her nostrils flare as she grabs the intern, who has just placed a bottle of water on her table, by the arm.
A: Do these people even know I’m here? Here, AT THE BACK OF THE ROOM?
I: Yes, ma’am. Every visitor receives a floor plan at the entrance.
A: So why is no one coming to see ME? I’m Esther bloody Mikaelson! I’m the Original Witch!
The intern clears her throat and grabs the water bottles tighter.
I: Erm ... I guess people are just ... saving the best for last?
A: Get me your boss. Whoever placed me here. I want to talk to them. NOW.
I: Yes, ma’am. I’ll just deliver the water to the tables and–
A: Are you DEAF? What did I just say?
Some fans at the neighboring tables are starting to look over. Like the chameleonic thespian she has been all her life, Alice lets her face light up while she pats the intern’s arm.
A: Of course, dear! Just ask him to stop by whenever you have a moment. Thank you for all the hard work you’re doing!
The intern forces a smile and hurries off. Meanwhile, two women approach Alice’s table with “Team Originals” canvas totes. They look excited and a little awe-struck. Alice suppresses a groan and flashes a smile.
A: Hello, ladies. Would you like me to sign your bags?
W1: Oh, that would be wonderful! We loved you so much as Esther!
W2: And in the Dalmatians movie too! You and Mr Fantastic are married, right? Such a handsome guy – you’re one lucky woman!
Alice’s smile wavers the tiniest bit. She grabs a Sharpie and holds out her hand for the totes.
W2: Is your husband here? We’d really love to meet him and get a selfie!
Alice drops the Sharpie. A faint hint of her smile remains, but her voice quivers with barely controlled wrath.
A: Do you live under a rock?
W2: Sorry, what–
A: Listen, Suzy Homemaker, educate yourself before asking idiotic questions! My HUSBAND has taken up with a horse-teethed bogan from an Australian trailer park who thinks she’s hot tit. She’s ruined four marriages, but she sure as hell isn’t going to ruin mine. My Baby Angel wuvs me to pieces, ALWAYS AND FOREVER!
The women stare at Alice in shock while other visitors start gathering around to see what the commotion is about. Alice grabs the
V: I thought you recently got divorced, Alice?
All color drains from Alice’s face.
A: Who said that? SHOW YOURSELF!
Nothing happens.
A: I don’t answer to anonymous FUCKOS, but let me tell you something – the judicial system in California is corrupt, unfair and plain WRONG, so I don’t consider their decisions binding! I’m NOT divorced! My HUSBAND is being kept from coming back to me by this bleeping witch with her KINETIC FANNY! He’s a HOSTAGE, that’s what he is! He’s WANTED ME BACK from day one!
The event manager approaches Alice’s table, his hands raised in an appeasing gesture as he bows apologetically to the ever-growing crowd.
EM: Alice, I’m sure no one meant any disrespect. Why don’t we all settle down and enjoy what brought us here in the first place – our love for the TVD/TO universe? What do you think?
A: Says the moron who placed me in the darkest, remotest corner of the room! HA!
Whispers of “wonder why” and “apparently not dark enough” begin to fill the air. The manager forces a smile-adjacent grimace.
EM: I apologize. We can remedy that right away – I’m sure ...
He scans the crowd and sees Joseph Morgan roll his eyes and give an inconspicuous nod.
EM: I’m sure Joseph will be happy to trade tables. There, how’s that? Problem solved?
A: Erm ... well, I guess. If we add top billing for the afterparty, that is.
EM: I would love to accommodate you, Alice, but the thing is that all the posters and materials have already been printed, so that could be a bit of an issue. But we can–
Alice’s eyes freeze over. She grabs the Sharpie and, with astonishing precision, hurls it at a cardboard cutout of the Original Family. Her thick, black glasses slide down her nose as she stomps her foot, kicking the cutout and sending it flying across the room.
A: I’m ESTHER! I made them all into vampires, duck! If it weren’t for me, none of them would even BE here!
Sebastian Roché walks towards her with measured steps, his voice low and calming, a reassuring smile on his face.
S: Alice, dear. You do know that this is a TV show we’re talking about, don’t you? We did not actually create vampires, and we aren’t a thousand years old. Come, let’s go grab a cup of coffee and catch up, all right?
A: I can’t believe this – you of all people, Seb? YOU’RE ONE OF THEM?
S: Them?
A: Those crazy FUCKOS that want to destroy me and my girls! They’re after me, my brother Tone, who met his lovely wife RACH at my wedding, and even my poor, innocent dog! They keep spreading these lies about me being divorced, about all the terrible things I’m supposed to have said and done, and all that after I’ve spent my life being nothing but kind and loving towards EVERYONE I’VE EVER MET! Even BIANCA THE BOGAN! And now these lunatics got you too!
S: Alice, who on earth are you talking about?
A: Them! The bleeping EVIL TATTLERS!
While Sebastian gives Alice another gentle, if confused, smile, the manager slowly recedes into the crowd and dials 911.
S: Tell us more about those, ahm, Tattlers, okay? Maybe we can sort this out together.
A: Like you don’t know! You’ve probably been in on this from the start; you’re–
Her eyes widen with a sudden surge of panic. She takes two steps back and shakes her head like a wet
A: OMG, you’re ... you’re WELP! Of course! I always knew it was a guy, and now everything makes sense! You’ve been Welp all along! You’ve founded Tattle, hired the Bogan, bribed the courts and kicked me out of my house! And all JUST BECAUSE I TURNED YOU DOWN!
S: Okay, Alice, I don’t know who or what Welp is, but let’s at least stay honest about who turned who down, shall we?
The wailing of approaching sirens fuses with Alice’s roar of indignation and the agitated murmurs of the crowd. Like a deer in the headlights, she stares at Sebastian, then at the throngs of people who are gaping back at her with varying degrees of consternation. She knows she is outnumbered. She must run. She must live to fight Welp and the Tattlers another day. With one final, all-consuming battle cry, she
Joseph Morgan joins Sebastian to give him a pat on the shoulder.
J: Should have taken one for the team back then, mate. Might have saved us all a lot of trouble.
S: Someone did take one for the team, remember? It didn’t save us from any trouble whatsoever.
J: Fair point. By the way, I heard that her ex is moving back to the UK. Looks like he’s landed the lead in some major project over there, and his new wife gets writing credits.
S: Oh dear. Let’s hope Ioan has managed to put at least one ocean between them by the time Alice hears about this.
They chuckle before returning to their tables. Neither of them notices the bulky shape melting into the shadows of the fire exit behind them. Neither of them hears it whispering, “Tone? Round up the Massive. Get the garage ready. Baby Angel is coming home. WE’RE coming home.”
I'm not sure what the right emoji is for this.Guys! Guys! Just took my car to the garage because the engine was making a funny smell. You know what they found???
MICE DROPPINGS! Am I Alice now?
Can you throw like bleach or something on it?
You're definitely not Al.
Dunno is this was captured but I think she put some face powder on and it got all over her glasses. Did she wipe it off? Nah. No one will notice.
Just as it's hard to tell "loan" from "Ioan", I'm finding it hard to distinguish "Al" from "AI". CHANGE YOUR FONT, TATTLE!!!
I. AM. ENRAGED.Dunno is this was captured but I think she put some face powder on and it got all over her glasses. Did she wipe it off? Nah. No one will notice.
View attachment 2323423
live still of Alice on a date with her new beau
Our mechanic didn't charge for it bless him. I don't know why a mouse decided to live inside my car though, are there not trees or something they can hide in? I'm not a mouse so I don't knowI wanted to laugh at this, but its not funny, well it is, but you know its another cost
I know it's way early but something in this said Thread Title to me.
Baby Angel still wuvs me to pieces, ALWAYS AND FOREVER!
Bloody brilliant @Arctic Ocean...I wish I could give it more than 1
Please can we have another instalment very soon?
Aww, thank you!Bloody brilliant @Arctic Ocean...I wish I could give it more than 1
Please can we have another instalment very soon?
It's entirely possible, what with her being such an endless source of inspiration...
Thanks for creating a new thread @BessieNessie and I’ve actually got a title 
can’t believe it! Thank you Turds
What with the title and Unobtrusive lurker leaving a on my post about the amount of tweets on the Tam account I feel like I’ve won the Turd lottery! 
can’t believe it! Thank you Turds What with the title and Unobtrusive lurker leaving a
on my post about the amount of tweets on the Tam account I feel like I’ve won the Turd lottery! I bet Ioan is desperately hoping that AE does get a bf. One would do, it doesn't have to be two lol. It's telling that the kids want her to get a bf as they must be sick of hearing "Your deadbeat dad this" and "The Bogan Ho that".
Anything to stop her creepy and scary obsession with him and Bianca.
That said, as Betty B and OJ proved, a partner doesn't necessarily stop the obsession.
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Anything to stop her creepy and scary obsession with him and Bianca.
That said, as Betty B and OJ proved, a partner doesn't necessarily stop the obsession.
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Did you count them all up? Gold star turd!Unobtrusive lurker leaving a
Hannah Arendt must be twirling in her grave, fast, to have her phrases misused and misapplied by yet another sad unimaginative shallow little man whose inability to think for himself is exemplified with his consistent use of "stock phrases and self-invented clichés".
As many of us have already mentioned, I am also taken aback by how dirty Alice's glasses are. Yuck. Seems as if all her attention went to applying filters to disguise her chins and create a jawline and smooth her skin...
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Not a glasses-wearer. Yet it is my sentiment exactly. Triple yuck.
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Perhaps not. Taking into account how Alice lacks boundaries and how the daughters are not individual human beings to her but her extensions. Plus her penchant of offering her daughters up to internet creeps. Add to the mix her need to triangulate.
Spells like a recipe for a disaster.
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So the Tam account, before it suddenly deleted itself was very quiet all day yesterday ( I know because I was keeping a check on the tweet counts and they hadn’t changed when I last looked from the previous rantings on the night before ) and then we find out that Alice had a meeting 
Curious Turds 
Curious Turds 
Let's just all look at this completely believable no alternate social media honesty. Insta is the only place you can find Alice.
the wrong partner also increases the obsession, i.e. if he is as crazy as she is (basically if she dates someone like Loopy)* or if he is rich enough for Alice to no longer have the tiniest bit of reservation to finish Ioan off (since she would no longer depend on Ioan's career)
*Alice would, for example not fare well if she gets a boyfriend like Brody Dalle has (even if I refuse to compare those cases beyond seeing how California courts deal with it, since Ioan is unlike all of them as innocent as it gets)
she would 100 % post loved up pictures of her, the kids and her bf to rub it under Ioan's nose. This alone is why I dont believe her a word LOLPerhaps not. Taking into account how Alice lacks boundaries and how the daughters are not individual human beings to her but her extensions. Plus her penchant of offering her daughters up to internet creeps. Add to the mix her need to triangulate.
Spells like a recipe for a disaster.
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See my post above
We must have been posting at the same timeSee my post above
So the Tam account was saying Alice had a meeting? I would imagine there are a lot of meetings Alice will be having. Ella - the account(s) - is active on insta/sm as well with weird comments to her people too. I would think Alice would be more on top of that as some cursory comments could be seen as problematic.
She’s loved up with not one but two non-exclusive’s but spends hours tweeting about Bianca? That’ll be right…
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