In sickness and in health?

[JellyWobbles]

Where do I even start.
30, married, mother of two. One child being profoundly/severely disabled.
Diagnosed with Anxiety.

Over the course of well, a year really my health is steadily becoming quite tit.
-I’ve had bloods done; all ‘normal’-.
Headaches that turn into migraines, temp fluctuation 38.2 mostly, and overwhelming fatigue and aches is dominating my everyday life now, my husband works and I care for our disabled child; it’s got to the point that I can barely do this.. I can barely look after myself.

A few times I’ve asked him to come home from work, with no other support and me being unable to offer adequate care I really have no choice but often he ignores me, which leaves me in a crying crumpled mess. He thinks my ailments are in my head, belittles my pain and says ‘I’m always ill’. He really truly doesn’t believe me and I’m certain he thinks is psychosomatic or me being lazy. I’m at my wits end with it. I am a shadow of who I used to be, I barely leave the house now as I just don’t have it in me. I feel alone, I have doctors finding no cause to my problems and my only friend/husband in the world who thinks it’s a lie, when I’ve tried to speak to him about this he says I’m being dramatic or a drama queen about it. I just feel so alone. So tired.

Honestly, am I being dramatic as he states or what? Because I don’t know anymore if this is all in my head or he is being unreasonable

 

[Definitelyme]

I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. Make sure you hound your GP, because they can just let things slide at times and you clearly need help.

Your husband is being extremely unsupportive. Is this in character for him?

There are a lot of physical ailments that could be causing this, but it could also be linked to your mental health. If it has taken a turn for the worse this year then these physical symptoms could be a reflection of that. It’s very common for mental health issues to present physically (as I’m sure you’ll know dealing with anxiety).

Are there any organisations you can contact to organise respite care for your son so you can have a break? You sound totally exhausted. I am in awe of parents who look after disabled children, you are absolute heroes.

 

[BettyCrocker]

Go back to your GP, ask them to discuss all your options - ask them to discuss mental
Health issues that could be at play here. Tell them how low you are feeling and tell them about what’s going on with your husband/caring for your son.

your husband frankly isn’t being supportive of either you or your son here and that’s not fair. Can you talk to him - not just about your own health but about how his lack of support makes you feel and about how low you are feeling? Can you work together to look into options for respite care for your son so you can a break? I’d also bring this up with your sons medical team to see if they can offer any help.

 

[monga]

Could you possibly have long covid there seems to be an influx of people presenting with the symptoms you've described to GP's even though they've no knowledge of ever having the virus...I hope you get some answers soon it can't be easy trying to manage your family if you're feeling like that.

 

[Countrybumpkingirl]

I have been through something similar to you (minus the temperature) for years and yes you start thinking it is in your head. I was originally 5 years ago tested for lupus but it was inconclusive. I have since been incredibly poorly with heart attack 2 years ago, heart disease and another heart surgery to prevent another attack 4 months ago. I have recently had new blood tests taken which the doctors believe are showing I have a rare autoimmune disorder. Caused my heart issues, headaches, chronic fatigue and now they think it could be causing my arthritis. The big problem is doctors will never look at all your conditions as a whole.

Now I don't have a partner so I can't help on that bit but believe me, I believe you and know the heart ache it causes. If you want someone to talk to please.let me know. I have a lot of long term illnesses so have done a lot of research on things (I should of been a doctor ) xx

 

[Raininvain]

Hes being really unsupportive, it cant be easy looking after a disabled child especially in light of Covid. I'd say that I needed him to step up. If he wont then I would then think about my options.
Do you think you might have depression? that can cause all sorts of health problems? I'd go back to the Drs and ask for a full health check/medical.

 

[Sooverthat]

Sorry this is random, but you describe similar symptoms to whst I have experienced and I thought I was on the verge of a breakdown or had something seriously wrong with me- cancer etc.

I had a number of food intolerance and deficiencies in vitamins and minerals along with adrenal fatigue and dehydration. Please consider seeing a Nutritionist. I can recommend https://www.rosielettsnutrition.com/
She does appointments via Zoom you don't need to be local to her.

I found this wasn't the whole answer, I did have a issue with managing anxiety. However my symptoms greatly improved following her advice and supplements and dietary changes and I was in a much better position and mood to access therapy- high intensity CBT to begin to manage my anxiety.

Hope that helps in some way.