Leave him. Your life & your health should be your priority.
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I'm sorry to hear you feel this way. If you are feeling this severely down then please make urgent contact with your GP!
Hun I have felt exactly like that in the past, I didn't want to die but I wanted the pain to stop. It is an awful feeling and you feel like there it will never change, or get better but I promise, it does get better. Dark times don't last. Make an appointment with your GP as soon as you can. Try speaking with your partner, tell him how you feel and what his addiction is doing to you too mentally. See if he will be willing to get help but put your mental health first here because you can not help someone else fully until you help yourself. x
An addict will never put anyone or anything above their addiction. It’s futile to even try or expect him to do so - he has a illness that he needs help for but that’s his problem, his issue to sort out. This lady needs to put herself first and put her health first.
Annie do you have any trusted friends or family you can seek help from?
Speak to your gp. I felt the same the other day. I seen your post about your husband, I sometimes feel the same with my boyfriend, I've never told anyone this but he has a bad gambling problem that puts me under a lot of stress & worry. I've never told him how much it worries me until the other day and he was understanding. I know it must be scary to open up about how your other half and their problems make you feel but you have to for your own sake. I was having an awful time, still am really but im glad I admitted it to everyone and got the help. Talking always does help & make you feel better xx
I have friends and family, but i have not told any of them about the addiction and i wont be able to do that. Hopefully i am just having a very low day, but i cant do this anymore. i am at work, a smile on my face, treating my staff as if all's ok but i know i am dying inside. I dont feel hope, joy, trust anymore. All i want to do is to go and sleep and not wake up and i know it is a HORRIBLE things to say especially now during Covid when people is fighting to stay alive. I am sorry.
Yes I know that, I have a father with a severe alcohol addiction and he has had that since I am old enough to remember. I know how awful it can be to live with addiction and hope that one day they will change, knowing they need to want to change otherwise they never will. This man is her husband though and she might not just want to up and leave like that. Sometimes things just aren't as easy as that unfortunately and I am just trying to give a bit of advice, i did say though to make sure she puts her mental health first and foremost as it is the most important thing here. x
Annie you have made the first step in opening up about how you feel, it takes a lot to do so. xx
You need urgent help and support and you need it now - today. Please contact either your GP or the Samaritans.
I know this is hard but your family and your friends love you and will absolutely be there to support you. I’d urge you to confide in them. You can’t shoulder this alone anymore.
I know he is your husband and you love him but this is a situation out with either of your control now and you need outside help.
Annie ring your G.P and contact Al anon, they are for family and friends of alcoholics etc.
You also need to give serious thought to leaving him, no matter how difficult. Why should your life be ruined by him?. Talk to him, if change isn't forthcoming you need to leave him. Full stop.
You also need to give serious thought to leaving him, no matter how difficult. Why should your life be ruined by him?. Talk to him, if change isn't forthcoming you need to leave him. Full stop.
i do go to Al-Alnon and it does make me feel better at times. But i dont always agree with the stance that i am a co dependent when i expect more from my husband.
I'm rubbish at relationship advice but my heart goes to you. I hope there are better days ahead
@watermelonsugar
@Annie101
@watermelonsugar
@Annie101
I'm an ex addict myself, my advise is to leave. I lost my entire family (even the care of my eldest children until I realised the error in my path). The more you make life comfy for an addict, the more we will carry on even of it means hiding it. Nothing but losing everything and being soley alone with what I abandoned everyone for was a soul destroying moment of realisation and probably the only thing which made me seek help.
My partner is also an ex addict. I won't lie and say it has been plain sailing and happy because at times it certainly hasn't. We are recently trying again after our sons first birthday, after having to part while I was pregnant. He relapsed and for my own sanity and safety, I had to end it, as sympathetic as I was towards him over it and offered to wait whilst he got clean as I adore him, he is my sons father and I didn't want him to have the extra anxiety I could be talking to another man. Lying and addiction often go hand in hand. The trust goes completely out of the window and at that time it was the best choice I made for me and our son.
My partner is also an ex addict. I won't lie and say it has been plain sailing and happy because at times it certainly hasn't. We are recently trying again after our sons first birthday, after having to part while I was pregnant. He relapsed and for my own sanity and safety, I had to end it, as sympathetic as I was towards him over it and offered to wait whilst he got clean as I adore him, he is my sons father and I didn't want him to have the extra anxiety I could be talking to another man. Lying and addiction often go hand in hand. The trust goes completely out of the window and at that time it was the best choice I made for me and our son.
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Thank you, last night i started looking for a place to stay that is pet friendly - i dont want a divorce but i need the separation
@watermelon sugar how are you? Wanted to ask on Q&A thread, but didn't want to derail
I'm doing a lot better tbh. My mood hasn't been as bad as it was earlier in the week and I'm feeling a bit more positive xx
Ahh thats really good x