Hi!
So, just wanted to hop on and say "I feel you!" and "I was/am you"
I had what's called a "high needs" baby. collic, never settled, never sleeping without being forcibly rocked to sleep, never being put down.
My advice is stop, rethink, re-evaluate, regroup and try again. Basically no, your partner working outside of the house is not a fair enough excuse for him to leave 99% f childcare to you. he gets days off, you don't. you are working 24/7, you are on call 24/7! it took 2 to make your gorgeous son, it'll take 2 to raise him. it absolutely takes team work! you are a well oiled machine, work like one mechanism, support each other like you're each-others extension. This might sound a bit strange as it is in todays society )though society is getting much better with understanding and supporting women in this way) but if we do not get a chance to heal durring the 4th trimester post partum [period and connect with the baby and our partner, we can very quickly get overwhelmed with all the absolute bollocks of "the housework needs to be done whilst bb is exclusively breastfed and you still put dinner out so your partner can come home like an absolute pleb and do fuck-all and dnt forget to bounce back to size 8 figure before baby is even sitting". it's all brainwashing crap that makes women think they need to accept dirt poor performance from their partners because men are not to be held accountable for anything.
I have 3 kids, expecting my 4th and what I have learned is that kids are all different. all of mine are! one slept, one never did, one gave me absolute headache with everything they came up with. You gotto remember that this is such a short little season of life, you will sleep through the night soon again!
the baby is developing, learning the world still and has such big uncontrollable emotions. And the thing he knows the best is that YOU are GOOD. you are warm, soft, you smell lovely to him, you come when he is not ok, you come when he calls for you. 7
you are a steadfast source of love and comfort for him, of course he will fight sleep and scream for you, why would he sleep through when he can rock out with mumma?!
You are his whole world, he's only been alive for such a few short months...
This is what I remind myself and all new mommas who are so so tired because their babies need them so much in the night.
This too will pass. stay strong. Stay strong for you little one and also put your foot down with your partner.
my ex was the same way, he's make a big deal about being woken up by baby and how tired he is but he was never the one up for hours every night with the baby. he'd talk about how hard work is but would never help with any housework whilst I was balancing postpartum and newborn and colic and depression. He's been kicked to the curb when said baby was half a year old because that's not the MAN my daughter needed to be "raised" by. man child more like.
follow your sons lead, if he needs to be up or cosleep or feed to sleep or more skin contact, do that. whatever gives you both more sleep and makes you both feel happy.
anyway, you got this! apologies for the essay. but I FEEL YOU, YOU ARE NOT ALONE though you may feel very lonely (we all do, it's a hard situation to exist in atm)
sending you hugs xx