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Change PT 
It could just be his personality to act flirty.
It could just be his personality to act flirty.
Are you sure you’re in love and it’s not just lust cos he’s fit and being flirty? If you’re seriously in love probs change PT
PTs are known for this to drum up and keep business. It’s inappropriate that he’s flirting imo
I was in this position a few years ago and he made a fool of me. He was unbelievably flirty during our sessions, used to message me outside of training and basically lead me to believe (in my opinion) that he was into me. I asked if he fancied a drink some time and he declined. I was mortified! I don’t know your trainer but it is really common for them to act this way to drum up and keep business so I would try not to get too involved personally.
This could almost be me.
I adored my PT. He managed to motivate me in a way no-one before him or after him have been able to do, and I thought he was wonderful.
We'd message, have a flirt etc and I'd wonder "hmm is it all in my head or is he keen"... until one night I saw him out all over this absolutely stunning girl and I realised... don't be bloody stupid, course he doesn’t fancy you. He's being flirty and acting interested because you're paying him for two sessions a week. Which I realised he'd talked me into (I had originally planned for one every ten days and all of a sudden I was doing four every 14!). I'd become a bloody cliche and I was so annoyed at myself.
I kept up seeing him until he left my gym. I went down to one a week though, my own way of regaining some semblance of "dignity". But he did do a really good job of training me so I wasn't going to stop seeing him all together.
OP I'm not saying he doesn't like you back, he might. But on the balance of probability, he's just keeping you sweet to keep your money rolling in. If he's motivating you, great. Decide if that's going to be enough. But if you're going to want more? I'd genuinely suggest seeking out another trainer so you don't get hurt!
It is humiliating when you realise how they’ve reeled you in isn’t it! I also ended up having two sessions a week when I’d only originally planned to have one, I wonder how many times this same story has played out!
I pay for my sister’s personal training. He has never been unprofessional like this. I would change.
Please don’t feel stupid, they are very convincing and as you can see you’re not the only one to be taken in by it. I would also say that I obviously don’t know your trainer and what he is thinking but just sharing my personal experience and what I’ve heard from others also x
Don't feel stupid. 100% don't think like that.
I think the relationship you have with a PT is quite a personal one to be fair, you're in a vulnerable state in a way, they're seeing you when you're trying to better yourself and it's them thsts helping you do that. I found with mine I shared why I was doing it, how it was making me feel etc. Its easy to forget that they're not friends.
Same as a driving instructor. You see them for two hours or more a week for so many weeks and you blether away about your life and theirs and as soon as you pass? Boom. Out of their life.
However with a PT even though you get fitter? Maybe you even hit your target weight, they still have the desire to keep you training.
There's no doubt they're flirting and maybe there's some sincerity in it. That would be a lovely story. But there's nothing to feel stupid about in the slightest. I stayed with my PT, but I realised my boundaries so i didnt let myself get away with myself. Decide for yourself if you can do that too, as lets be honest it's always nice to have a flirt and feel wanted. Even if you do deep down know it's not "real'.
Thank you, you’ve put in words what is so true for many of us! I’m cringing slightly at how flirty I was but glad to know I’m not alone I’m falling for a PT!! X
I’ve yet to meet a PT in the gym that wasn’t flirty. I found it really off putting and manipulative. Thankfully I didn’t fancy them so that’s probably why I was able to see it for what it was. After the third time I decided to switch to female trainers in the future.
I think that’s what I should do too. It’s so
manipulative and seeing @Cats_eyes post has made me realise that they just see you as repeat business, nothing more.
youre pretty much dating your client??? That’s so weird
Isn’t it!!! It’ll be interesting if there are any PTs on here that can share if this is ‘normal’?
I mean it's one thing to say that to a fellow PT in the gym or whatever but to put it not just in writing but as part of a presentation? Dick move.
PT here. It’s not normal, but that is Diren Kartal (actually has his own thread on here) and I wouldn’t listen to word that came out of his mouth. If that’s what he’s telling people then it probably explains why his business isn’t exactly booming.
Anyhow. It’s not uncommon for some PTs (male PTs with female clients in particular) to flirt and be a little too comfortable with clients. From what I’ve seen, it does often keep clients coming back in the short term. They feel special, they get an extra bit of motivation from wanting to ‘impress/please’ the PT and they feel like they’re developing a real bond with them. And then as the boundaries become more and more blurred, it has the opposite effect as the client can no longer focus on their original goals and they’re fixated on the ‘relationship’ with the PT. In my opinion, it’s so unprofessional on the PT’s part and shows how little respect they have for the client.
Any PT worth their salt can can build a good, solid rapport with a client without being flirty and playing games with them to get them to sign up for more sessions. Any PT who is knowledgable and confident in their abilities shouldn’t need to behave like this. Also, going to PT sessions is a huge deal for some people. They may need a lot of support but are putting themselves through something quite uncomfortable and unfamiliar to them because they genuinely want to make a positive change in their lives. Knowing there are PTs out there who will happily take advantage of people who may be in this situation to boost their own ego and make a quick buck makes me so angry.
In response to the original poster: get yourself a new PT asap. Sorry if this is brutally honest but that person does not genuinely care about you. It’s disgusting that they’ve done this. Wishing you all the best
Anyhow. It’s not uncommon for some PTs (male PTs with female clients in particular) to flirt and be a little too comfortable with clients. From what I’ve seen, it does often keep clients coming back in the short term. They feel special, they get an extra bit of motivation from wanting to ‘impress/please’ the PT and they feel like they’re developing a real bond with them. And then as the boundaries become more and more blurred, it has the opposite effect as the client can no longer focus on their original goals and they’re fixated on the ‘relationship’ with the PT. In my opinion, it’s so unprofessional on the PT’s part and shows how little respect they have for the client.
Any PT worth their salt can can build a good, solid rapport with a client without being flirty and playing games with them to get them to sign up for more sessions. Any PT who is knowledgable and confident in their abilities shouldn’t need to behave like this. Also, going to PT sessions is a huge deal for some people. They may need a lot of support but are putting themselves through something quite uncomfortable and unfamiliar to them because they genuinely want to make a positive change in their lives. Knowing there are PTs out there who will happily take advantage of people who may be in this situation to boost their own ego and make a quick buck makes me so angry.
In response to the original poster: get yourself a new PT asap. Sorry if this is brutally honest but that person does not genuinely care about you. It’s disgusting that they’ve done this. Wishing you all the best
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