Hunters & Heels #7 Rented cottage & gurns galore. Sickly recipes & poses by the door.

[Clare]

Completely agree with you. You have summed it up nicely, she has completely lost her way with her style recently. Those huge floral and checked dresses does nothing for her but she may get back to her normal style for the sickly sweet upcoming autumn posts

Brace for the Beige! Camel chaos! Cashmere calamity! Think we need to do an Autumn bingo.

rip off poem about Autumn things
soft focus candles and log fires
white company cashmere socks with lacy lingerie fireside photoshoot
Col slow-pouring the gravy on the roast
fruit crumble reel with saccharine voiceover
gifted brown boots with camel dress
gifted brown leather bag with everything
over the shoulder lingering shots in crunchy leaf country lane
pumpkin craft by Van Gogh Ollie/Worwee
cosy overnight gifted stay in a shepherd hut/The Fish Hotel
transition from Léoube rosé to the red wine

 

[CBS1]

I am SO fucking sick of this shit! So you go to the Beefy Boys at 10AM, not open but you still tag them in your story to garner presence, you then return with the beige boys to get a burger for lunch, retagging them for more visibility. And oh look at that! A box of fucking burgers turns up at your house the next day. I imagine we will now get wanky videos of 'Chef Col' sensually sizzling these burgers, with some knocked up salads from the world's best Gardener's garden, panned to outdoor shots of the gifted furniture, all being lit by some sexy Bamford/Daylesford candles that were begged for, being sloshed down by some lush Leoube rose, and Lady QVC sashaying slowly with some floaty little number. Then a few follow up stories with some aff links to show off the festoon lights and anything else this fake bint can make a few pence off

 

[CaptainJane]

Yay for new thread! Just for my records, is anything about yesterday's Easter performance normal? I have a dysfunctional family and no money so basically most things Lauren does make me go but honestly, is there anyone out there who does all this:

- decorates twigs in a vase with fake eggs
- orders pretend letters from the Easter bunny...and then styles them in a fancy trug with flowers and chunks of half eaten carrot
- faffs endlessly with the Easter tablescape while hubby slaves in the kitchen (both ignoring the kids, presumably)
- dyes eggs with beetroot
- passes off a popular National Trust hot cross bun recipe as their own, complete with wanky reel
- films and photographs everything and then edits, posts and replies to comments the very same day

Did anyone have beans on toast and go for a walk round the block instead? #blessed

 

[Instarealist]

Does Lauren have an Only Fans where she peels off her floral tent smock and reveal her #gifted Fantasie full cup lingerie?
Asking for my grandad!

 

[Hashtagged]

Was it just me or did that whole freebie trip feel like it was in really bad taste? The posh meal, the overdressed kids, the luxury shopping, bragging about the dutchess, the glamping, the free dinner....

All while normal ordinary people are worried daily about the cost of living and astronomical bills and tightening their belts and making cut backs.

Shame on you Lauren, and shame on the events organisers for giving freebies to such an unbelievably greedy woman.

 

[shesaidwhaaat]

Laur & Col

 

[cantstandinfluencers]

I looked up how much how much a suite for 2 adults and 3 children in that hotel would be in September. The hotel website quoted me £3,360 a night! That is insane! It is also insane for her to vlog this a short trip as most people don't even have that budget for their annual holiday. With the cost of living crisis and rising energy prices I find this type of marketing so inappropriate.

She could never afford the type of lifestyle she tries so hard to portray that she leads. She is a divorced, remarried mother of two, with a step son, living in a rented cottage with husband Col who used to be a car sales manager. She buys Next and H&M clothes for her kids when they aren’t gifted Joules etc. The same goes for her. She makes her kids wear collared shirts, and dresses them like mini versions of Col! The poor boys have to play with wooden toys, or anything gifted or that their mum has been paid to advertise. They get sweets in a twee brown bag on a Friday after school and are dragged around places such as Daylesford or any other place that Lauren thinks looks aesthetically pleasing. Lauren lives a fake life and is most definitely all fur and no knickers. I feel sorry for her sons though, as they are the ones who are ultimately affected by their narcissistic mums addiction to her IG and the Freebie lifestyle - what a role model they have - NOT!

 

[InstaLurk]

She's like Catherine Tate's Mrs Taylor-Thomson.

Archie!! Rory, Oliver and I are having a gooseberry and cinnamon yoghurt. Would you like a gooseberry and cinnamon yoghurt?!

 

[#kindlygifted]

Why though, across the board does IG totally and collectively cream itself over Autumn? Is the Americanisation of our life? I adore summer, dread the turning of the summer into winter and the long dark nights and cold days that lie ahead. Seeing those colours turn fills me with dread (yep I think I suffer with S.A.D but not sure what the answer is!)

At this point, with her Reel from last night I feel the need to Quote my own post because it is just so fucking ridiculous how childishly giddy she gets over Autumn. I’ll say it again and in solidarity with @Meringue22 the very thought that Summer is behind us and there’s now 6 months of dark mornings and evenings fills me with utter dread! To me it just shows that she doesn’t really work for a living and doesn’t have to get up early / be commuting home late so her only focus is the fucking candles and lighting the fire. I have no words to fully articulate what an utterly vacuous, supercilious prick she is!

 

[Rainbow Blossom]

I think part of this sort of influencers appeal is that they are aspirational on an unobtainable scale. People are desperate to live the life these people live, and this is what sells. Lauren knows this, and capitalises on it by only showing what she wants to show. She hides the less polished aspects of her life because it tarnishes her brand. This then causes people to feel envious, and then negative about their own lives. Her brand is build on drumming up envy from others and this is pretty gross when you think about it.

 

[Latetotheparty]

What the actual fuck! I’ve literally never heard anything so stupid as celebrating a march birthday in late august because the air smells like lavender! She really is scraping the barrel for a story to flog something there! and don’t get me started on that reel! Spot the difference!

 

[CBS1]

God I feel so stupid! I have been so busy recently that I completely forgot to switch over to my Autumnal fragrance today! Like what must people actually think of me?! Must invest in her planner and then I can plot in important things such as this for the future!

 

[CBS1]

It makes me really sad that people like Lauren make other people feel like they aren't good enough. Really look at her life, she lives in a rented house (absolutely nothing wrong with that) but given the life she is trying to portray she doesn't actually have much, and is certainly not asset rich. Her car is old, they don't make them anymore and notice she calls it a Land Rover and not a Discovery so she seems 'posher'. Essentially everything she has that she and Col have had to pay for are rented or old. Everything that has been given to her is what essentially makes her audience interested in her. Her wardrobe is gifted, as are most of the contents of her home. Her days out are gifted or an AD. She is provided with free food and drink (ad). She can't maintain this forever, one day (hopefully soon) people are going to become bored of this and see through her shit. Her life is so disingenuous, and really just a bit weird, and actually she wouldn't even fit into the crowd that she so desperately tries to belong to. Its quite sad the sheer desperation of the woman.

I'm not really sure if any of that makes sense, he just sort of splurged out

 

[Pass_the_popcorn#2]

Everything they done in the holidays was free and for adverts. That is just not normal life.

No one should feel inadequate by a woman who sells her children's childhoods for free stuff and likes. Behind the scenes must be so contrived and boring. I just feel sad for them all.

 

[#kindlygifted]

I actually don’t know where to begin, to middle or to end following her posts this weekend. I’ve said to my husband at least 3 times this weekend - we don’t have lamb, chocolate eggs, my Easter twigs and felt eggs are still in the loft, no champagne or floaty dresses and I’m sorry! He was like “it’s Easter - it’s the weekend for DIY isn’t it?” We spent the weekend on our own, gardening and didn’t eat in the garden the afternoon so no Peter Rabbit tins, bunny ears napkins or willow placemats. I’m on a diet so no chocolate either!
I wanted to shout loudly at her “just fuck off” It was too much. We’re not on a budget either. I can afford to buy what she gets gifted so it isn’t jealousy. And at 40+ I don’t look like the 50 she looks and my 50+ husband looks much better than the tired, bloated opera singer (looking at you all for not voting for my thread title )

I’m going to unfollow for my mental health. I’m also going to unfollow every try hard, gifted, Reels pushing and / or vomit and rage inducing accounts. (Rvkloves, GSDIH, Lauren, Comedowntothewoods, cobblestone and wells, All That’s Pretty) So as that makes for my entire Feed, any ideas for mood and spirit lifting accounts to lift my mental health?

 

[CaptainJane]

As annoying as the wanky holiday reels are, is anyone else kind of glad she's not at home faffing about with bunting and stupidly over-dressed tables for the jubilee?

 

[cantstandinfluencers]

Is she signed up to an agent? The amount of gifted trips she gets is unbelievable and leaves a bad taste in my mouth - I would never buy from a brand or company that partner up with her. I’m in the demographic that Lauren is so desperately trying to sell to but nobody in our circle acts or looks the way she does. She acts so old and frumpy for a 30 something woman. Don’t even get me started on her equally annoying husband. They are both so ridiculous. The way they dress their boys too - They are treated as props for their parents fake insta life. Imagine having to fake wealth and take freebies all the time. Only wears designer items when gifted. If she’s spending her own money it’s a trip to H&M

 

[notwiththeprogramme]

Oh Joules. Your marketing team or agency need to be shot. People have actually complained on their posts that they don’t appreciate how they choose a bunch of silly spoilt women to gift things to and suggest giving it to someone worthy like an NHS worker. They have got a good enough reach on their own page to get a nice message out there without needing to enlist the help of a gaggle of desperate mum influencers desperate to “catch up” via a funded trip. When will they learn this method of marketing is actually damaging their brand? Their followers have told them so!! They need to go back to school.

 

[InstaLurk]

Normal kids want go to the rainforest café or TGI’s; the Little Lord Fauntleroys are off to Fortnum & Mason in starched linen to choose a posh chocolate.

Bore off you absolute pillock.

 

[Pass_the_popcorn#2]

Ah bless our Col being born in a month that isn’t suitable enough for Lauren’s make believe life so he has to celebrate it when Lauren decides it will give her the best content.

Someone please kindly gift that man some balls!