I was seeing a guy towards the end of last year. Only around 2-3 months. We spoke everyday and would see each other every other day. One day it just ended and after an argument and a blocking I was left (embarrassingly) heartbroken.
This year I’ve been okay. Although I haven’t seen or really spoken to anyone else. But tonight, I’ve just had a massive cry for the first time in months and keep asking myself why aren’t I fully over it. I feel so pathetic and low. How long did it take for you to get over someone you weren’t even in a relationship with?
It took me quite a while as I tried my best to block out all my feelings - but the minute I actually allowed myself to feel, it got easier. I wrote down everything that was going through my head and that helped a lot as I learnt that I was actually in love and heart broken over the "
what ifs" and "
could bes". I was crying over the guy and the relationship that I created in my head, but not the guy I was actually "seeing".
It took a lot of mental and conscious effort to take him off the pedestal that I put him on and realistically think about what he was like and what he offered - once I stopped romanticizing him and started picking apart little things, I realised that he wasn't actually
that great and there was a lot of things I wouldn't have been happy about if we did end up in a relationship (as I so desperately wanted at the time).
So don't feel pathetic, it's completely normal the way that you are feeling. But maybe just try to write down your feelings, and have a think about whether it is actually him that you miss, or the potential of him. Do you find yourself being upset because you can't do all the things you
could have done together? Because that'll mean that you're missing the relationship you wanted, but didn't actually have. This sort of realisation can help you move on.