Paid for outright, not really. On finance perhaps.
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My brother in law has a very very well paid job and his wife has big family money. The funny thing I find is she comes from family money and although she buys lovely clothes and bags it’s not this overt TOWIE labels thing but she looks classy and you’d never know she was worth millions. He on the other hand spent the whole first time I met him showing me a pic of the yacht he owns, the plane he flys and all this other stuff that was impressive but when you scratch the surface he was a real empty vessel with nothing to say. I found it fascinating that you had the polar opposite of wealth in a marriage in terms of subtle versus look at me.
Rich people use finance too. It’s completely normal to take advantages of the very low interest and incentives available and keep your own cash for other things.
I think people are confusing towie types (or made in Chelsea - same thing but classier) with wealth. Their image is something that potentially needs money to maintain but isn’t about wealth. It’s an image, a way of keeping the public interested in them and publicity/ fame
I think people are confusing towie types (or made in Chelsea - same thing but classier) with wealth. Their image is something that potentially needs money to maintain but isn’t about wealth. It’s an image, a way of keeping the public interested in them and publicity/ fame
I'd be confident in saying few "rich people" would buy their cars outright. They replace them every few years, like normal people do with a car on PCP or lease. Cars depreciate in value almost instantaneously so unless it's a classic car it's nonsensical to pay outright.
When I was working in the UK, I had a client who had 800 acres of land, he drove about in a beat up pick up truck.
I disagree. Anyone flaunting money is distasteful I don’t care where they’re from or who they’re are. Have the big house and kids in private schools, that’s not showing off. I am all for people having nice things, that’s not flaunting. It pisses me off that people like Stacy Solomon who’s obviously earned a few quid pretends she dressed her kids in Primark and Matalan to ‘stay relatable’.
It’s the ‘treated myself today’ standing with a million designer shopping bags that’s silly, as it’s simply about being ostentatious and bragging. Not ‘I’ve achieved my dream, always wanted to to this, I’ve worked so hard’. But some comment like ‘oops’ as if spending £5k by accident is just normal to them and it’s done to make people jealous or want what they have. There’s no positive motive to that kind of behaviour. People with tons of cash don’t do that, they just quietly go and buy the stuff they want because it’s not about what other people think, it’s about having nice things for their own pleasure.
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I work with a man who’s Grandparents were Millionaires and therefore left their estate to the Grandchildren. My colleague doesn't flaunt his wealth he has worked in same job for over 30 years, he drives a basic model car that's 5 years old and he buys the cheaper range of food.
You wouldn't know he was a Millionnaire and is a nice quiet guy. I only know of his wealth due to my colleagues telling me about it.
His sibling also worked for same company and he was exactly the same - not snobby just very down to earth.
I did hear the story where my colleagues partner was due to be evicted from her house as the landlord wanted to sell it, my colleague then bought the house for her so she didn't need to move (she has children - not his but from another relationship).
You wouldn't know he was a Millionnaire and is a nice quiet guy. I only know of his wealth due to my colleagues telling me about it.
His sibling also worked for same company and he was exactly the same - not snobby just very down to earth.
I did hear the story where my colleagues partner was due to be evicted from her house as the landlord wanted to sell it, my colleague then bought the house for her so she didn't need to move (she has children - not his but from another relationship).
But these are a very small number of people who have found fame through “flaunting it” aren’t they? They’re not representative of people generally
I think rich people are just like everyone, some are nice, some are dicks. Some flaunt what they have, some don’t. i think trying to categorise and say "all rich people are like this" is useless, as from this thread we’ve seen so many differing stories on what rich people we know are like.
One thing I do think is true from my experiences is the louder you shout about what you have, the less you probably really do have.
One thing I do think is true from my experiences is the louder you shout about what you have, the less you probably really do have.
I totally get what you mean and I do agree with the class snobbery, but I also do think that at least in the UK, there is generally an unspoken rule of HOW you flaunt your wealth, and how that is acceptable, regardless of class, and that’s what people are picking up on.
I don’t generally agree that truly rich people all drive old bangers and wear moth-eaten jumpers. I think it’s a bit of a stereotype that gets bandied about a lot, especially linked to the “new money vs old money” snobbery, which is bull. If there are people like that I’d hazard a guess it’s entirely because they’re cash poor and not because they prefer to live that way.
As I said above, the rich people I know are obviously rich, by their hobbies and their clothes and their houses. I think they absolutely still flaunt their wealth, they just do it in an “acceptable” way.
I also think there are different unspoken, societal rules in different countries. You mentioned the UAE which I admit I hadn’t even thought about, but clearly there, it’s all about looking as stereotypically “glam rich” as possible.
So ultimately, agree it’s very much a class issue and about flaunting your wealth in the most tasteful or desirable way, according to the society you’re in.
You also have to consider what is considered rich. Everyone has a different idea of that, often based on their own finances and those of the people they know. I would be considered rich to some people. The people I consider rich wouldn’t think of me as rich at all, and then those people might be thought of as not rich by billionaires. I dunno, it’s such a contentious issue but agree that everyone (including myself in this, from a traditional working class background) falls into the trap of class tribalism and stereotypes when discussing it.
@Lanavalentine that is all so true. And I think the snobbery comes from a desperate desire to “please” the upper classes- something that goes back hundreds of years- by trying to highlight how you reject those who are like you, but “vulgar”.
Because we all know the upper classes don’t want to open their wealth to us. Over the years they have lost protection of this wealth, but those of us who want to be accepted by them Are now doing their work for them by ostrisicing those working class people who we perceived to do money “badly”.
It’s like “we’re not like them! We handle money better! Look at how much we dismiss them! Can you let us into the wealth circle now please?”
and It’s a fallacy, because they don’t let you in. You push your way in with two fingers up at them. These stereotypes of the gentile moth bitten jumpers and banged up Range rovers Vs new money chavs all help the upper classes keep their money to themselves.
Because we all know the upper classes don’t want to open their wealth to us. Over the years they have lost protection of this wealth, but those of us who want to be accepted by them Are now doing their work for them by ostrisicing those working class people who we perceived to do money “badly”.
It’s like “we’re not like them! We handle money better! Look at how much we dismiss them! Can you let us into the wealth circle now please?”
and It’s a fallacy, because they don’t let you in. You push your way in with two fingers up at them. These stereotypes of the gentile moth bitten jumpers and banged up Range rovers Vs new money chavs all help the upper classes keep their money to themselves.
No but it's another crappy side of social media that people are trying to emulate the influencers and it filters down. Before we'd have no idea if someone got a new car, TV, handbag. Now it seems an awful lot of people feel compelled to make and then any large, expensive purchase for all to see (and I believe some purchases are explicitly so they can be posted) And some will say 'we've finally done it, saved so hard' and that's great.... but lots post stupid things like 'Dear me, love me xx' like it's nothing. My friend's 19 year old posted a picture the other day 'Love it when it all comes at once' with about 8-9 delivery bags from various fast fashion websites. She's not 'rich' at all, but there's absolutely no point to that post other than trying to signal 'I can afford all this stuff'. She is doing that because to her that's important, material things mean you've 'made it' and that's sad. We've got a debt culture partially because people want nice things but also because they want to be seen to have nice things. If I had my way, all branding would be removed from kids clothes particularly. ETA; I know a girl, considers herself 'rich', who posts everything she buys her kids, always turns the price label around so it can be seen. Packs her kids off for a school trip with designer luggage. Calling that distatful isn't trying to please anyone, it simply is due to her motives.
So I don't have anything against people having something nice or being proud of what they've achieved and I don't feel I'm being snobby and saying 'We don't show off like that Dahhllinngggg, we're better than that' or 'please the upper classes'. It seems like a really British thing to hate success, that isn't it either - I'm saying don't be an hole by bragging, don't see these things as worth bragging about. Material items are nice but they don't mean tit, they don't always indicate success, something has probably been sacrificed to achieve it etc.
And, to the original point, it so happens in my experience, those bragging and flaunting are not truly wealthy and those who are truly wealthy aren't bragging.
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I agree with you. It’s sad but this is the culture that social media has created. Before people were only able to show off to their friends and probably a lot of people actually didn’t because they were conscious of how a face to face brag would come across. Now social media means showing off to people you don’t even know. I think I fell victim to this, not excessively, but if I got a nice handbag I would post it and then I started to really question why I was doing that. I’ve never been one to show off and I always feel a bit bad if I have something that I know my friends couldn’t afford, but social media started to feel like a competition to me and I am deeply insecure (just being honest) so I suppose I felt like I wanted people to think of me as doing well.
I’ve completely stopped posting on social media now, my husband and I aren’t rich but we are comfortable but I realise that I was starting to fall into a trap of buying things just for social media. Luckily that didn’t go too far but I’m glad to be away from it now and just think it’s a bit vulgar and attention grabbing what some of these influencers and wannabes post. But I also think they must be insecure to do it and feel like they need that validation. At the end of the day how much money you have in your account and the things you buy don’t make you a better person, I wouldn’t want to make anyone feel bad if they couldn’t afford something I can and likewise if I were to show it off I still know there are people far richer than me. Honestly I just think social media has bought out the very worst in people.
I’m quite old but I remember the early/mid 2000s before the financial crash and Honestly that was so much worse.
Everyone was genuinely in debt up to their eyeballs. You could get a self cert mortgage by telling some dodgy company how much you wanted.
We borrowed £350k at 23 (bear in mind that bought us a flat that goes for about £1m now) everyone had multiple credit cards, credit card tarting was a huge thing. It was horrendous looking Back.
and yes it was visible. We all went to the latest restaurants and bars and waved our designer bags around and bought bottles of Dom. We used to stay in 5* hotels because we couldn’t be arsed to go home.
It was AWFUL looking back
So although I do understand the pressure that social media brings, I don’t think it’s new. And debt generally is much harder to obtain these days. It’s not all bad news
Everyone was genuinely in debt up to their eyeballs. You could get a self cert mortgage by telling some dodgy company how much you wanted.
We borrowed £350k at 23 (bear in mind that bought us a flat that goes for about £1m now) everyone had multiple credit cards, credit card tarting was a huge thing. It was horrendous looking Back.
and yes it was visible. We all went to the latest restaurants and bars and waved our designer bags around and bought bottles of Dom. We used to stay in 5* hotels because we couldn’t be arsed to go home.
It was AWFUL looking back
So although I do understand the pressure that social media brings, I don’t think it’s new. And debt generally is much harder to obtain these days. It’s not all bad news
Not just credit cards but store cards, too! They were highway robbery with shocking interest rates, and yet it was totally normalised to take multiple store cards out.
I had a part-time job at Topshop in the early 2000s. We were under strict instructions to ask every customer over 18 to open a store card account. So much pressure to reach targets. It was awful, we literally sold it as “free money”.
Anyone who isn’t old enough to remember the credit, credit, credit attitude of the late 90s/early 2000s should look up old episodes of Spendaholics on YouTube.
I had a part-time job at Topshop in the early 2000s. We were under strict instructions to ask every customer over 18 to open a store card account. So much pressure to reach targets. It was awful, we literally sold it as “free money”.
Anyone who isn’t old enough to remember the credit, credit, credit attitude of the late 90s/early 2000s should look up old episodes of Spendaholics on YouTube.
Yes! Omg everything you bought, take out a store card.
I remember on that massive mortgage We put down a 10% deposit. Our friends thought we were mad. No one was putting down deposits, they were getting 100% or 110% mortgages, borrowing deposits etc.
I remember on that massive mortgage We put down a 10% deposit. Our friends thought we were mad. No one was putting down deposits, they were getting 100% or 110% mortgages, borrowing deposits etc.
I come from what you would call ‘family money’. My grandparents worked very hard and built up a hotel/property empire which has afforded all of us a very easy life due to the wealth it amounted. We were all given trust funds and houses in in W8 area in London. I’ve fortunate enough that I don’t have to work and we are in the position that neither does my husband.
That being said, my family has always instilled a strong work ethic in all of us, which means a lot of us have now ended up working in the family business.
I’m not naive enough though not to realise that my family/name has got me to where I am now. I was lucky enough to go to some of the best schools in the country. I have travelled immensely and I know that my children and I will never want for anything and money is not something that we will ever have to worry about.
However my grandparents have always made sure we know that just as easy as our lives are, it could be taken away at a moments notice. They started their business with £5000 of savings they we gifted and they always say they were lucky.
Money is not really something we talk about. There is always a perception of you come from money that you are entitled and spoilt. Yes, we had a lovely childhood and I’m giving my children (I hope) a lovely childhood but money doesn’t make that. Yes it makes it easier but my children are just as happy running around the park with their friends as they are when we go to Mustique.
That being said, my family has always instilled a strong work ethic in all of us, which means a lot of us have now ended up working in the family business.
I’m not naive enough though not to realise that my family/name has got me to where I am now. I was lucky enough to go to some of the best schools in the country. I have travelled immensely and I know that my children and I will never want for anything and money is not something that we will ever have to worry about.
However my grandparents have always made sure we know that just as easy as our lives are, it could be taken away at a moments notice. They started their business with £5000 of savings they we gifted and they always say they were lucky.
Money is not really something we talk about. There is always a perception of you come from money that you are entitled and spoilt. Yes, we had a lovely childhood and I’m giving my children (I hope) a lovely childhood but money doesn’t make that. Yes it makes it easier but my children are just as happy running around the park with their friends as they are when we go to Mustique.
That’s interesting. I do largely agree, especially with the misconception of extremely rich people being spoilt - as a teen I babysat for a very rich family and they were some of the loveliest, most patient and polite children I’ve ever met.
However, I would add that as someone who grew up with very little money, and now has a very comfortable lifestyle (nowhere near similar to yours, but definitely richer than average) I would say that money provides time, opportunity and choice in a way like nothing else can.
My mum worked two jobs when I was a kid and as a result, the only real quality time I got with her was when she was working as a Lunchtime Supervisor in the playground at my primary school. We never went on holiday; my parents never had time off. There was always a lot of stress hanging in the air, and there’d be little hints of struggle, like my mum crying when we’d incessantly beg her for some small treat at the supermarket, or having to walk miles upon miles to an event because we didn’t have a second car and dad had to use it for work.
Now, I wouldn’t say I had a bad childhood at all. My parents brought me and my siblings up well and I have some lovely childhood memories, days spent playing in the garden or going for family walks, making up dance routines with my siblings, all that good stuff. Saying that, I do think my experiences differ to yours, and while your parents will undoutedly have had their own stresses, managing to keep a roof over your head and your bills paid is a particular kind of stress that most people would rather avoid.
I always say that money cannot and never will buy happiness, but in my experience it opens doors, it allows you more options, it helps solve problems. I have noticed that some rich people do not recognise the privilege in that (and I don’t mean that nastily - I suppose there’s no reason for them to recognise it when they haven’t experienced it).
I think that’s so true (again lanavalentine!) I think of it as the kate Middleton effect- she looks calm and cool and confident and happy but that’s from an upbringing where those stresses and strains were absent. This is why so many people are describing rich people as “lovely”. It’s easy to be lovely and charming and generous when you are not ground down By life’s various mental loads.
I'm in the horse world and some rich people who aren't horsey and have no clue what they're doing decide to get into horses. So I know a few very wealthy people through that route.
Some are nice; others are absolutely awful.
I always find the most surprising ones the ones who are thick as two short planks yet have been super successful in business and made a fortune (not through old money and family connections, either).
Some are nice; others are absolutely awful.
I always find the most surprising ones the ones who are thick as two short planks yet have been super successful in business and made a fortune (not through old money and family connections, either).
Love this thread and reading the comments makes me think of my mums comments when I was younger.....”she is all fur coat and no knickers that one” 