My partner split with me after 7 years. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It sounds dramatic but I honestly couldn’t function. I didn’t even know who I was without him. I knew it hadn’t been great but thought we could work it out. He just wanted to throw it away, throw me away.
I don’t believe she was a factor but he soon got with someone else. Well of course that pushed me off the rails. I felt that I’d given him my best years, my fertility even and he’d just moved on to a younger woman with a child leaving me a spinster.
Still, with time, I sorted my
tit out. A turning point was sitting in a room with a load of people I’d usually cross the street to avoid who were all off their faces trying to suppress their own personal pain and I thought ‘what the hell am I doing here?!’
I’m now with the most wonderful man who tells me he loves me every day, compliments me all the time, 2 things my ex did Maybe once a year, believes in and supports me and wants to be a team; we’re expecting our first child.
I realise now how much I had my head in the sand and said ‘oh that’s just him’ about my ex’s shortcomings because I loved him but I was also comfortable. I didn’t want to start again. I was picking the devil I knew and selling myself so short. We got on amazingly and he made me laugh but that’s not a life partner, that was a mate I just wouldn’t admit it. It sounds as though you’re relationship wasn’t 100% if he was shutting you out, if you really analyse it, was it as good as you’re feeling it was now or might you be better off in the long run? Was it purely his mental health or were there aspects that were just parts of his personality?
I do believe you have to work at a relationship but you shouldn’t have to fight Tooth and nail for it. My point is that it will get better Than it is now. And you might find it gets better than its ever been. Either way, you won’t be with a man that doesn’t want you 100%. There’s a cheesy meme that says ‘remember when you wanted everything you’ve now got’ - that happens. I’m under no illusion it’s guaranteed to last forever but we all deserve it for a little while. You’ve got exciting times ahead of you. Maybe some mistakes and bad dates but
it’s going to be fun!
Big hugs to you.