Heartbreak after split

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Time is a great healer. I’m 5 months on from being broken up with. I’m not 100% over it but I’m in a much better place. Things that have helped me are keeping busy, listening to my mental health when I’m having a bad day and resting and trying not to focus on the ‘what ifs’. It’s horrible I know.
Really use this time to focus on yourself - be selfish. You deserve it. Take care 💕
 
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Hi OP, just checking in on you today to see how you are going?
Hello! That's so kind, thank you.

I'm actually feeling a little more acceptance of the situation.

He did send me a WhatsApp message a couple of days ago. Asking how I was. I was really not sure whether to reply, so left it for a day and sent a bright and breezy 'I'm ok, hope you are too' style reply. He's not responded to that but he was never a texter or good with words so that was to be expected. I was very surprised he did send a message though.

I've been looking towards the future, planning things to do and future goals so that's kept me busy. I still think of him and I do feel sad, and I have cried a lot, but that's natural, and I'm not letting it take up the whole day. I can see what wasn't great with the relationship, now that's it done. I can see it logically now.
 
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I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I know it's easier said than done, but try to keep the mind busy so you're not dwelling on things, it will only make you question things/feel worse if all you do is sit and think about it. Do you have any close friends you could perhaps do something with, lunch date or something?

You will find your happiness, I promise. As somebody earlier on in the thread said, count it as a blessing that it's happened now, and not after you'd moved in, or taken the relationship any further.

Concentrate on you, take care of youself, treat yourself to some new clothes, hair cut, nails, anything to make you feel good about yourself.

I know it hurts now but as each day passes, you'll feel a little bit better. You will find your person soon enough, it may even be in the last place you expected them to be!
 
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Hello! That's so kind, thank you.

I'm actually feeling a little more acceptance of the situation.

He did send me a WhatsApp message a couple of days ago. Asking how I was. I was really not sure whether to reply, so left it for a day and sent a bright and breezy 'I'm ok, hope you are too' style reply. He's not responded to that but he was never a texter or good with words so that was to be expected. I was very surprised he did send a message though.

I've been looking towards the future, planning things to do and future goals so that's kept me busy. I still think of him and I do feel sad, and I have cried a lot, but that's natural, and I'm not letting it take up the whole day. I can see what wasn't great with the relationship, now that's it done. I can see it logically now.
Glad you are feeling a bit brighter xxx
 
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My partner/boyfriend of two years split with me last week suddenly. He stated that he just can't handle a relationship due to his mental health problems. He suffers with depression and anxiety and we have had some ups and downs over the two years because of this and the fact he seems to run away from his problems and shut me out. He admitted he isn't ready for a relationship.

The split came suddenly and the day before we had been talking about me potentially moving to be with him.

I'm heartbroken, and just feel so, so sad. I obviously still love him but feel so hurt. He admitted yesterday in a text that he had been thinking of splitting with me for the past three months but couldn't find the right time to, this just felt like salt in the wound and really hurtful. I'm angry yet incredibly sad.

I've asked if there's another woman involved and he's said no. Now I know sometimes this can be the case but my heart is telling me that's not the reason.

Does anyone else have any hope or advice? Or even just a handhold? I feel broken and like I'll never recover.

Thank you.
Heartbreak is the worst. It takes over your life completely and you can’t function. I have been there. There’s no quick fix unfortunately but you won’t always feel this bad. Time really is a healer. ❤
 
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My partner split with me after 7 years. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It sounds dramatic but I honestly couldn’t function. I didn’t even know who I was without him. I knew it hadn’t been great but thought we could work it out. He just wanted to throw it away, throw me away.
I don’t believe she was a factor but he soon got with someone else. Well of course that pushed me off the rails. I felt that I’d given him my best years, my fertility even and he’d just moved on to a younger woman with a child leaving me a spinster.
Still, with time, I sorted my tit out. A turning point was sitting in a room with a load of people I’d usually cross the street to avoid who were all off their faces trying to suppress their own personal pain and I thought ‘what the hell am I doing here?!’

I’m now with the most wonderful man who tells me he loves me every day, compliments me all the time, 2 things my ex did Maybe once a year, believes in and supports me and wants to be a team; we’re expecting our first child.
I realise now how much I had my head in the sand and said ‘oh that’s just him’ about my ex’s shortcomings because I loved him but I was also comfortable. I didn’t want to start again. I was picking the devil I knew and selling myself so short. We got on amazingly and he made me laugh but that’s not a life partner, that was a mate I just wouldn’t admit it. It sounds as though you’re relationship wasn’t 100% if he was shutting you out, if you really analyse it, was it as good as you’re feeling it was now or might you be better off in the long run? Was it purely his mental health or were there aspects that were just parts of his personality?
I do believe you have to work at a relationship but you shouldn’t have to fight Tooth and nail for it. My point is that it will get better Than it is now. And you might find it gets better than its ever been. Either way, you won’t be with a man that doesn’t want you 100%. There’s a cheesy meme that says ‘remember when you wanted everything you’ve now got’ - that happens. I’m under no illusion it’s guaranteed to last forever but we all deserve it for a little while. You’ve got exciting times ahead of you. Maybe some mistakes and bad dates but 🤞🏼 it’s going to be fun!
Big hugs to you.
I have come across this post today and it’s given me some reassurance for what I’m currently going through. So thank you ❤
 
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Me too ❤ I hope you’re all ok! It sucks so hard. I feel like I’ve been on and off heartbreak for the last year and a half and its neverending, it’s nice to hear happy stories 😊
 
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To the ladies recently commenting on this thread - almost two years ago i split up with my ex of almost 5 years. He was my everything - it was very, very toxic but he was my everything. We split up and within around ten days he was in another relationship. I never saw myself getting over it, i never ever thought i would be okay again but im now the most okay ive ever been and so glad that he is out of my life. It does get better, allow yourself to cry, feel what you need to feel, but just remember that it will pass ❤
 
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To the ladies recently commenting on this thread - almost two years ago i split up with my ex of almost 5 years. He was my everything - it was very, very toxic but he was my everything. We split up and within around ten days he was in another relationship. I never saw myself getting over it, i never ever thought i would be okay again but im now the most okay ive ever been and so glad that he is out of my life. It does get better, allow yourself to cry, feel what you need to feel, but just remember that it will pass ❤
Thank you. I needed to hear this ❤. Can I ask did you meet anyone else after and is your ex still with same person he got into a relationship with after the break up? I’m just worried that I’ll never meet someone and feel the same way I did for my ex. I also ruminate on whether he regrets or will regret in the future finishing the relationship.
 
Thank you. I needed to hear this ❤. Can I ask did you meet anyone else after and is your ex still with same person he got into a relationship with after the break up? I’m just worried that I’ll never meet someone and feel the same way I did for my ex. I also ruminate on whether he regrets or will regret in the future finishing the relationship.
My ex is now in a very toxic on/off relationship with the same girl, arguably even worse than the relationship I had with him - but it's a unique situation because she became very very obsessed with me and would message me constantly. We split up in May 2021 and by December 2021 my ex and I were talking more often because he would come to me for relationship advice (I was completely over him by this point).

I have not been in a relationship since and I am so glad, I am early 20s so I have a lot of time and I was only 20 when we split up (was in a relationship 16-21 more or less) it sounds cliche but I have put so much effort into working on myself to never make the same mistakes that i did with him. Learning boundaries, self worth, red flags to not ignore etc and he did the complete opposite. you will 100% feel the same way or even more so than you did for your ex - i felt the same way, like I would never feel for anybody ever again and then i met someone whom I felt deeper for than I ever did my ex. Alas, it did not work out but i was glad to know it can and will happen one day. Jumping from relationship to relationship is the recipe for disaster, i personally don't believe you can get over someone that fast and move on. But definitely don't hold out hope - i did for a little too long until i finally realised it was completely dead. I hope you are okay, truly because I remember the way I felt when this happened and I would never want to feel this way again. Everyone says that it'll pass and it feels like it won't but it definitely does ❤
 
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My ex is now in a very toxic on/off relationship with the same girl, arguably even worse than the relationship I had with him - but it's a unique situation because she became very very obsessed with me and would message me constantly. We split up in May 2021 and by December 2021 my ex and I were talking more often because he would come to me for relationship advice (I was completely over him by this point).

I have not been in a relationship since and I am so glad, I am early 20s so I have a lot of time and I was only 20 when we split up (was in a relationship 16-21 more or less) it sounds cliche but I have put so much effort into working on myself to never make the same mistakes that i did with him. Learning boundaries, self worth, red flags to not ignore etc and he did the complete opposite. you will 100% feel the same way or even more so than you did for your ex - i felt the same way, like I would never feel for anybody ever again and then i met someone whom I felt deeper for than I ever did my ex. Alas, it did not work out but i was glad to know it can and will happen one day. Jumping from relationship to relationship is the recipe for disaster, i personally don't believe you can get over someone that fast and move on. But definitely don't hold out hope - i did for a little too long until i finally realised it was completely dead. I hope you are okay, truly because I remember the way I felt when this happened and I would never want to feel this way again. Everyone says that it'll pass and it feels like it won't but it definitely does ❤
I am a bit older than you I’m 36 and have split from my partner after 4 years just over three months ago. His decision although I recognise there were elements of the relationship that weren’t right but I loved him very much and was willing to work on our relationship. I’ve just noticed last night that he’s deleted all photos of me from his social media which I’ve found upsetting. I suppose for me I’m fearful now that I will never meet someone and feel the same way that I did for me ex. I also feel I might have missed my opportunity to have children.
 
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