Having a third child

[Izzyt88]

I’m currently having this dilemma. My two are currently 6 and 4 and I always imagined having three kids in total but found having two (especially at toddler ages) harder than I thought. Now my youngest is about to start school and they’re both much more independent so I’m in a catch 22 - I feel like I have a little bit more freedom back for the first time in 6 years and I should just appreciate it but that’s what also makes me feel like I could now cope with that third child.

Maybe it’s partly because I feel like I’m running out of time - I’m 36 and wouldn’t be able to TTC for another year due to medication I’m on, so I wouldn’t get pregnant until age 37 at the earliest (I know it’s also likely that it could take much longer so I could be older than that). On the one hand I feel like I’d be ‘too old’ by then with a big age gap from my older two, but I also think that could be a benefit to the hypothetical baby - I’d be a more experienced mother with more time and patience due to the older 2 being a bit more independent!

Sorry for the brain dump, I’m just glad I’m not the only one who has this dilemma!

 

[petitspois]

I had two and contemplated three and am very very glad I stuck with two. Obviously my opinion but I think three takes you into a new level of needing new cars, houses etc.. and even things like meal prep are harder as so much is in a pack of four.

 

[Kaylarina]

We have 2 girls (1 and 2 years old) and I'm pregnant with baby number 3. My husband is from a big family whereas I'm not so I always wanted a big family.

We are quite lucky that we are in the position that I have been able to (mostly) step out of work until our children are older but we are making some big changes - a move to the US to be closer to his family.

 

[LittleMy]

I’m currently having this dilemma. My two are currently 6 and 4 and I always imagined having three kids in total but found having two (especially at toddler ages) harder than I thought. Now my youngest is about to start school and they’re both much more independent so I’m in a catch 22 - I feel like I have a little bit more freedom back for the first time in 6 years and I should just appreciate it but that’s what also makes me feel like I could now cope with that third child.

Maybe it’s partly because I feel like I’m running out of time - I’m 36 and wouldn’t be able to TTC for another year due to medication I’m on, so I wouldn’t get pregnant until age 37 at the earliest (I know it’s also likely that it could take much longer so I could be older than that). On the one hand I feel like I’d be ‘too old’ by then with a big age gap from my older two, but I also think that could be a benefit to the hypothetical baby - I’d be a more experienced mother with more time and patience due to the older 2 being a bit more independent!

Sorry for the brain dump, I’m just glad I’m not the only one who has this dilemma!

Are you me? I swear I could’ve posted this myself

I would love another baby and feel like I could manage it now that my two boys are school aged but there are just so many other factors to consider. We’d need a bigger house, bigger car etc. Also both of my sons are autistic which seems to be genetic and I won’t lie it’s only now that things are getting a bit easier (my youngest was a difficult toddler). My family think I’m mad for considering it but I can’t help how I feel. We’re still very much undecided.

 

[Izzyt88]

Are you me? I swear I could’ve posted this myself

I would love another baby and feel like I could manage it now that my two boys are school aged but there are just so many other factors to consider. We’d need a bigger house, bigger car etc. Also both of my sons are autistic which seems to be genetic and I won’t lie it’s only now that things are getting a bit easier (my youngest was a difficult toddler). My family think I’m mad for considering it but I can’t help how I feel. We’re still very much undecided.

Oh wow, yes I have the same concerns regarding the house, car, childcare etc, even down to the fact my 6 year old son is currently on the pathway for a potential ASD diagnosis and like you say, there’s a massive genetic factor with this! Our families would be shocked if we had another child (my partner can be persuaded haha) but like you said, I can’t help how I feel.

I’ve heard so many people say that they just knew when they were ‘done’ and I’ve never felt that way!

 

[Stimpii]

I was only ever having 2 children. Had 2 boys. Partner always wanted a girl and we were constantly asked when we were having a girl. Always said we weren’t having anymore.

Ended up having a lockdown accident, baby turned out to be a girl. It’s like she was meant to be and I wouldn’t change anything now.

I didn't find going from 2-3 hard as you already have routines going. It is harder practically tho. Most things are based on families of 4.

 

[LittleMy]

Oh wow, yes I have the same concerns regarding the house, car, childcare etc, even down to the fact my 6 year old son is currently on the pathway for a potential ASD diagnosis and like you say, there’s a massive genetic factor with this! Our families would be shocked if we had another child (my partner can be persuaded haha) but like you said, I can’t help how I feel.

I’ve heard so many people say that they just knew when they were ‘done’ and I’ve never felt that way!

I feel the exact same. I don’t feel done at all which surprised me tbh as I haven’t had the easiest parenting journey

 

[Rivluk9]

We had an accidental 3rd and honestly it turned our cushty little life upside down. Feeling overwhelmed and like there isn't enough of me to go around has caused severe depression. I look at people around me with only 2 kids and their lives look so much easier. Also we had to buy a new car and new house as ours was tiny, both of which are a huge financial burden. Basically I'm here to say if you're on the fence, get off and enjoy what you have!