Having a third child

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Peepynose

Hello!
Mum of 2 here who is contemplating having a third. My head knows two is probably the right number for us (logistics, family life, working, childcare, car and house) but I can’t shake this feeling of wanting to have a third. It’s just my husband and I, we don’t have a support network or family support nearby and we are (just about) managing with two and juggling family life. I do wonder if a third could tip a the balance.
Looking for advice and to hear from people who have had three and also who have stuck at two too. Thank you!
 
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Rodneytrotter

I have three and like you I knew I wanted a third! It is a big jump financially as you need a bigger car to fit 3 car seats (I had 3 all in car seats still). It was also tricky when all 3 wanted to hold my hand! Youngest is now 8 and we have to book two hotel rooms whenever we go away as you can only have 4 in a room (when youngest is still in a cot that's allowed). Also life seems to be catered for families of 4 at theme parks and in supermarkets etc. I have no regrets at all though!
 
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odetotheseaweed

I’m not very helpful because I was very much “two and done” when I was pregnant with the second, and nothing changed after he was born. I’m happy with two, when they were still smaller, if you could have guaranteed I’d have a girl, I would have considered having a third but probably still would have ended up sticking with two.

I think if you want a third and your partner is open to it, then I’d go for it! I don’t know anyone that’s been unsure, gone for it and regretted it. Do it, do it, do it (and soon so you can be pregnant with me and @raspberryjuice)
 
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Suzesnooze

I had one of each but my husband always wanted a bigger family. Decided to go for no.3 when my other two were 4 and 6. Never regretted it and was glad I had another. Would possibly have had 4 to round it off but that was pushing it!
 
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Nocomment20

Delighted to see this thread pop up as I'm in the same boat. Searching and reading for stories from other women in the same boat has helped but still can't make up my mind!
 
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Kim Mild

I read that deciding factor is the answer to the question ' do you like chaos?'

I have 3 , but I had a large gap , so it’s a one and a 2.
 
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MrsLucas

I have 3 girls 15, 8 and 2 . It's wild and my god so bloody hard butttt it's also so lovely and special. They all have the most beautiful bond most of the time. I was adamant I was only having 2 but got caught and I wouldn't change it for the world. Our third and final baby is what we didn't know we needed. Yes obviously financially if you need a bigger house, bigger car, etc but if you can do it go for it. Having a big family is so special seeing them all together playing is priceless and so precious . I am defiantly 3 and done now .
 
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lucyloo11

Not going to lie, in my late 30’s I did have the broody feeling. Maybe I just needed that third and final daughter. My husband was adamant it would be a really bad idea. Now in my mid 40’s I am so relieved I listened to his voice of reason.
We’re now in a position where we have more disposable income than we’ve ever had before. We have freedom. We have date nights. Our girls are independent and earning their own money. We are a happy little foursome. I’ve ’done my bit’ and relieved I only have a year left of being a ‘school mum’ and ‘dance mum’.
Can I imagine being perimenopausal with a bad back and raising a primary school age child at this point. Nope!
 
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Savewaterdrinkgin

I have 3 age 15, 12 and 9 months! I always wanted 3 and I’m so glad I went for it. Despite the age gaps it’s been lovely doing it again and the older 2 love having a baby around. I always think you regret not doing something more than you’d regret doing it so if it’s what you want go for it!
 
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Bleurghgram

Absolutely no right to comment on this as I’m not a mother but I am a third child… my parents left an accidental big age gap and my brother truly has never forgiven me for being born. He remembers life without me and as a grown man still believes I stole his parents, middle child syndrome is real and growing up with him was hard

I love being the baby of the family now though! I definitely had it easier than the other two.
 
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Nocomment20

Well, have you decided yet? Still undecided here
 
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Peepynose

Nocomment20 said:
Well, have you decided yet? Still undecided here
Click to expand...
I’m settling more on the side of the fence of sticking with two but I still get the odd wobble of ‘could we do it all again and have a third?’
I genuinely think my hormones/ovaries are having a panic because I’m approaching 40 and there’s not loads of time left. Hope you can reach a decision that’s right for you and your family x
 
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Shak

I have an 8, 7 and 3 year old. Our third is definitely harder work than the two older were. I sometimes look at my friends who only have 2 and feel they have it so much easier. The baby stage was fine with the 3rd, the toddler stage has been physically and mentally draining to the point it's made me quite ill. She's a bad sleeper and is in our bed every night. The 3 siblings have a good bond though and I feel it's getting slightly easier now she's almost 4. I think if you have plenty of help/grandparents etc then it's not so bad.
 
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Kim Mild

I agree, life was easier when I had two. My 3rd likes to make everything hard work , too, they have that sort of personality.
We don't have family help either.
 
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ada-lovelace

I’ve two with a a two year gap and ever since my second was about 1 I’ve known I never wanted any more. I do have one of each so I don’t know if that came into play in me being so sure, not that it matters of course what genders you have. I actually had a termination back in January after falling unexpectedly pregnant and I did of course go back and forth for a while but ultimately I knew deep down I didn’t want any more and I don’t regret it for a single second although it was really bloody hard and I do still feel guilty. I guess it’s different for everyone but I think when you’re done you just know in your heart.
 
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