Totally understand secondary infertility must be a painful thing to go through. I think what sours it for me is that she openly shares her jealousy of her friends becoming pregnant. We've no context as to her friends situations so it just makes Hannah seem like a bleep.
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100%... but the article is written badly and comes across badlyI imagine it must be really hard to know your body can get pregnant and carry a baby to term.. it has done so for you before.. but it won’t do it again and theres no reason why. I imagine that would feel so upsetting and frustrating. Whilst other people’s pregnancy announcements are lovely, there would always be a small voice that said, why not me? Also, there would be a sadness inside if you had an idea of what you hoped for and then your body had other ideas (like a small age gap for example).
fleur de force struggled for 5 years to conceive her second and had multiple miscarriages.
maybe it’s okay to have these feelings and by voicing them she is giving space to others and acknowledging that sometimes getting pregnant, staying pregnant, carrying a baby to term, hearing other people’s announcements out of the blue- all of this can be emotionally challenging.
maybe, just maybe, she’s not being a twit here?
Recently quite a lot of her content is coming across very badly.
Ooh that article really didn’t land well. I think she’s absolutely allowed to feel how she feels and I don’t think you have have it the worst to talk about your struggles but she’s still only be trying for months and if it was me, I would leave this space, at least publicly, for someone else with more challenges to speak on the topic. Her first child took A year of trying.. not years, and with no fertility help needed. Which seems pretty ok going given her challenges with her cycle. She says the friends who announced their pregnancies together, those kids have been born now. So she was only literally at the earliest stage of trying at that point when she’s bursting out crying at her friends news and claiming it’s not fair. Also “mourning” not having a 2 year gap, when her first child is still only 2 is ridiculous. I know people have “ideal” gaps but they rarely work out EXACTLY. Having potentially a 3 year gap is something that causes her to mourn?
The topic is a real, valid thing that’s difficult, but i feel like she’s managed to make it sound like she’s holding a pity party for herself a bit prematurely here.
The topic is a real, valid thing that’s difficult, but i feel like she’s managed to make it sound like she’s holding a pity party for herself a bit prematurely here.
That article was horribly written, it doesn't even sound like Hannah. I thought it was weird that her stoma wasn't mentioned although her UC was briefly. Especially considering her comments about nutrition. She may have a healthy relationship with food, but there are things she won't be able to eat from a practical point of avoiding blockages. There's two comments on there now along the lines of what's been said here.
they live in a cramped 2 bed flat and she moaned about breastfeeding and default parenting etc.
The article really doesn’t paint her in a good light. Be happy for your friends and family and your healthy child!
All of her feelings are valid, TTC can be really emotional. That being said, the article was tone deaf and some of it is things you'd unpack with a therapist or a friend who's experienced infertility. The 'duck you' to friends getting pregnant stuff especially.
She's been trying for less than a year and conceived her first naturally and in less than a year. It's completely normal for it to take that long, even though it feels like forever at the time. GPs often wont refer for fertility testing until you've been trying for a year. I understand the additional health concerns but it's all framed as if trying for 6 months and not being pregnant is a cause for concern, which ironically isnt great sex education.
If the nutritional side of things makes her nervous or stressed she could speak to a nutritionist or explore other options instead of spending money on expensive massages and meals in London like in that recent vlog. Also, the privilege of being able to distract herself with going to the eras tour twice when a lot of couples going through fertility options will be throwing all their spare money at starting a family. I understand what she was saying and of course you need to plan things to look forward to and not put life on hold, but not everyone can do things like that.
There are so many people who try to concieve for literally years so I don't think Hannah is the best spokesperson for it being 'incredibly hard'.
Edit: I can't stress enough, I agree that these conversations are important but the tone matters, the audience matters.
She's been trying for less than a year and conceived her first naturally and in less than a year. It's completely normal for it to take that long, even though it feels like forever at the time. GPs often wont refer for fertility testing until you've been trying for a year. I understand the additional health concerns but it's all framed as if trying for 6 months and not being pregnant is a cause for concern, which ironically isnt great sex education.
If the nutritional side of things makes her nervous or stressed she could speak to a nutritionist or explore other options instead of spending money on expensive massages and meals in London like in that recent vlog. Also, the privilege of being able to distract herself with going to the eras tour twice when a lot of couples going through fertility options will be throwing all their spare money at starting a family. I understand what she was saying and of course you need to plan things to look forward to and not put life on hold, but not everyone can do things like that.
There are so many people who try to concieve for literally years so I don't think Hannah is the best spokesperson for it being 'incredibly hard'.
Edit: I can't stress enough, I agree that these conversations are important but the tone matters, the audience matters.
She's really gone off, hasn't she?
Maybe, just maybe, there's a better way to deal with those feelings and "give space to others" than writing an article about how much of a victim she is for not being able to have her ideal sibling age gap, woe is her?I imagine it must be really hard to know your body can get pregnant and carry a baby to term.. it has done so for you before.. but it won’t do it again and theres no reason why. I imagine that would feel so upsetting and frustrating. Whilst other people’s pregnancy announcements are lovely, there would always be a small voice that said, why not me? Also, there would be a sadness inside if you had an idea of what you hoped for and then your body had other ideas (like a small age gap for example).
fleur de force struggled for 5 years to conceive her second and had multiple miscarriages.
maybe it’s okay to have these feelings and by voicing them she is giving space to others and acknowledging that sometimes getting pregnant, staying pregnant, carrying a baby to term, hearing other people’s announcements out of the blue- all of this can be emotionally challenging.
maybe, just maybe, she’s not being a twit here?
As people have said, perfectly valid for her to feel jealous if her friends are conceiving more easily than her, but if I were one of those friends I'd be dropping her after that article. Sometimes influencers could do with keeping thoughts between them and their therapists.
Well the fact she said they all announced it on WhatsApp at the same time makes me think they have already dropped herMaybe, just maybe, there's a better way to deal with those feelings and "give space to others" than writing an article about how much of a victim she is for not being able to have her ideal sibling age gap, woe is her?
As people have said, perfectly valid for her to feel jealous if her friends are conceiving more easily than her, but if I were one of those friends I'd be dropping her after that article. Sometimes influencers could do with keeping thoughts between them and their therapists.
The woman lives on triple chocolate muffins, white toast with jam, burgers and fries … it’s fair to say diet adjustments would help her health overall, especially as she has chronic health issues.
She doesn’t want to though, she admits her taste in food is that of a child at a kids birthday party.
She doesn’t want to though, she admits her taste in food is that of a child at a kids birthday party.
I thought it was interesting she said she has a healthy relationship with food but followed up by saying the idea of tracking it stresses her out. IMO that's not a healthy relationship in that case - it doesn't have to be stressful to look at your nutrition. Especially with her health conditions, she has to eat differently to others (eg a lot of high fibre isn't advised, whereas it "normally" is) but that should be all the more reason to ensure she eats a well rounded diet to avoid missing out on any nutrients if she's more restricted
Tracking food is quite stressful tbh. I was specifically trying to gain weight once but using food tracking apps really stressed me out and I ended up losing weight specifically how they were designed. But I feel like I have quite a healthy diet anyway and listening to your body is the right thing to do.
For a lot of fussy eaters they just need to sort it out and try out different foods through exposure basically. I was a fussy eater as a kid but once I started preparing my own food I realised the weird bits I didn't like eating due to textural issues were just like...natural parts of the food and everything became a lot easier.
Regarding nutrition, she’s mentioned she has PCOS no? There is a lot of very well evidenced research into diet as a control for PCOS-related fertility issues. Most advice is high protein, high healthy fats, low in carb . It works because our sex hormones (namely luteinising hormone) and digestion hormones (namely insulin) are inherently linked. There are well evidenced supplements too like zinc and B8.
In PCOS diet changes can be used a legit medical tool, and anyone with a healthy relationship with food as Hannah claims she has, should be able to implement them healthily. I say this as somebody who has done it and vastly changed my hormonal health through diet even with a history of ED.
editing to add this isn’t advice to Hannah or anyone else, and it’s certainly not trying to blame her diet alone for fertility worries, just pointing it out in response the diet discussions. Diet culture has def done a number on so many women but a lot of us could do with a little more diet pragmatism imo
In PCOS diet changes can be used a legit medical tool, and anyone with a healthy relationship with food as Hannah claims she has, should be able to implement them healthily. I say this as somebody who has done it and vastly changed my hormonal health through diet even with a history of ED.
editing to add this isn’t advice to Hannah or anyone else, and it’s certainly not trying to blame her diet alone for fertility worries, just pointing it out in response the diet discussions. Diet culture has def done a number on so many women but a lot of us could do with a little more diet pragmatism imo
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Anyone read her sub stack article?
Yeah it was a whole load of nothing
She basically regurgitated her metro article..
Does anyone respond to these? I barely have time to get myself out of the house in whatever happens to be clean. I think I might unfollow again for December.
It’s just nonsense engagement-seeking posting.
Or it’s for a video, loads of people ages ago did a “Instagram followers decide my day”
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