LinaLamont
Well-known member
If he’s making sexual jokes before he’s even asked you on a date then that’s a red flag. If he wanted to pursue something he would. Don’t waste your time on this guy would be my advice.
- Notice
Inforapenny
Chatty Member
Nope don't pursue it. If he doesn't pursue you he's not interested in anything serious.
I know this flies in the face of equality but in my experience men like the chase and if you make it easy they won't see you as anything more than a bit of fun.
I know this flies in the face of equality but in my experience men like the chase and if you make it easy they won't see you as anything more than a bit of fun.
Pinkblush
VIP Member
Men don't usually hang around. They get in quick before someone else comes along so if he's been like this since xmas maybe he just likes a flirt now and again. I know you said you're quite shy but could you casually suggest a coffee (takeaway coffee and a walk if you're under restrictions). You might get more of a handle on whether he's genuinely interested or not.
Caramel Latte
Chatty Member
I was in a similar situation before and from my experience when i rushed things (cuz i liked the guy for so long) it fizzled.
My guy also thought about "settling down" but seemed too freaked out when i was more upfront.
I say yours could be just having fun, enjoying your company, could be flattered to have a shy person be less shy with him.
My advice would be to try and not take him too seriously. If he is serious he will be more direct sooner or later, so better not wait for him. You can still have a crush on him and joke around (I know i would) but just don't expect too much to avoid disappointment.
My guy also thought about "settling down" but seemed too freaked out when i was more upfront.
I say yours could be just having fun, enjoying your company, could be flattered to have a shy person be less shy with him.
My advice would be to try and not take him too seriously. If he is serious he will be more direct sooner or later, so better not wait for him. You can still have a crush on him and joke around (I know i would) but just don't expect too much to avoid disappointment.
mochibean
VIP Member
Exactly, then I can move on to better things.Rejection is not nice to experience but at least it stops the guessing game of 'does he or doesn't he' like me
Good luck
I hate wasting my time and feeling all types of ways I shouldn't have too. Thank you!
BettyCrocker
VIP Member
Girl. You are 27 right? Come on. You can’t expect to just sit there, waiting to see if a guy likes you and for him to do all the work. If you feel that there’s something there - then for goodness sake just ask him for a drink. No pressure, no drama. “Hey, do you fancy grabbing a drink one night after work?” - it’s as easy as that.
mochibean
VIP Member
Oh 100%. I'm sat here scoffing Maltesers and feeling sorry for myself atm.Oh i get you!
I think guys like this only bring heart break/self doubt when they're unclear and don't know what they want. I doubted myself so much until i realised that i *deserve* to be with someone who appreciates me and is sure of his feelings towards me
Too right! That's so true, I just need to apply that to myself and one day find that person.
Raininvain
VIP Member
No, hes just playing games with you, if he was properly interested you would know. Just move on and forget him.
Also stop flirting with him, just block him.
Also stop flirting with him, just block him.
Caramel Latte
Chatty Member
Oh i get you!
I think guys like this only bring heart break/self doubt when they're unclear and don't know what they want. I doubted myself so much until i realised that i *deserve* to be with someone who appreciates me and is sure of his feelings towards me
mochibean
VIP Member
Yeah this was one of my thoughts.
It's just annoying for me because I'm not a mind-reader and I feel a bit like he's playing with my feelings.
Like there's attraction and chemistry there but I know that it's not the be all and end all. I just wanna get to know him better, that way he can figure it out tbh.
I'll see how it goes. At the end of the day it's up to him what he wants or doesn't want.
mochibean
VIP Member
I figured it was just his way of showing his interest and pushing the boundaries a bit. I left out that us having any sort of relationship would be difficult due to us working together. I could be wrong though, I tend to overthink to the extreme.
Yeah, I'll give it a try if I've got the guts. I'm just afraid of rejection.
I'm the type to like someone for a long time before agreeing to anything, I like things to sort of grow before we jump straight into dating. If he does just like a flirt I'm not up for that, I don't have the energy to put into someone I like who isn't interested in taking it further.
I quite like the chase and being chased to be honest, but since it's been a while I'm getting fed up now.
BettyCrocker
VIP Member
I got the impression the OP perhaps wasn’t in the UK...? Or am I way off here?!!!!
mochibean
VIP Member
This advice is super helpful thank you.
I'm 27 but after only one long term relationship of 10 years I have 0 experience with guys, so I have 0 experience in anyone other than my ex really. I'll try not to put anything on him - at all and just enjoy his company too. I do enjoy talking to him and having a laugh after all.
Ravenclaw24
New member
Just wanted to say that this is what I've learned from experience
1. Don't ever put yourself down or make yourself look pathetic like speaking ill of yourself. The way you treat yourself is how to show others how far they can treat you.
2. REMEMBER who you are. Remember the things you love about yourself and hold yourself to a high standard. Don't let anyone get a reaction out of you that you'll regret later. Also don't bend too much or be too eager to mould yourself to suit someone else.
3. Don't put up with abuse or bullshit because if you do, they just feel that if they got away with it once they can do so again and then the cycle of disrespect begins.
4. Make sure you have a life and interests outside your significant other. It's healthy and also makes you appear more self reliant and independent and therefore more desirable.
5. Seeing yourself from a 3rd person perspective helps when making tough relationship decisions, or just deciding how to react in general. If you were someone else, you think reacting in a certain way makes you a good person/sensible/mature? Or would you cringe at such a course of action? Helps make decisions.
1. Don't ever put yourself down or make yourself look pathetic like speaking ill of yourself. The way you treat yourself is how to show others how far they can treat you.
2. REMEMBER who you are. Remember the things you love about yourself and hold yourself to a high standard. Don't let anyone get a reaction out of you that you'll regret later. Also don't bend too much or be too eager to mould yourself to suit someone else.
3. Don't put up with abuse or bullshit because if you do, they just feel that if they got away with it once they can do so again and then the cycle of disrespect begins.
4. Make sure you have a life and interests outside your significant other. It's healthy and also makes you appear more self reliant and independent and therefore more desirable.
5. Seeing yourself from a 3rd person perspective helps when making tough relationship decisions, or just deciding how to react in general. If you were someone else, you think reacting in a certain way makes you a good person/sensible/mature? Or would you cringe at such a course of action? Helps make decisions.
rather not stop
VIP Member
Sounds like he likes the attention. Just ask him.
mochibean
VIP Member
It's in person not online haha, it's not that simple. But I'll just stay out of his way best I can.
BettyCrocker
VIP Member
If you like him, and you are attracted to him and you feel like there’s a bit of chemistry there then just ask him out for a drink or whatever. If he says yes then take it from there. If he says no then you know he’s just flirting or whatever for a bit or attention.
Raininvain
VIP Member
If he was really interested he would have asked you out by now. If its a work situation I was just stick to that full stop.x