Going Solo

DanaScully · Mar 1, 2021

How comfortable are you to do activities on your own in public?

Would you go for a meal, to the cinema, to a hobby class, to a theme park, for a night out, on holiday? Have you done any of these things alone in the past?

If you wouldn't do any of these things solo, what is it that stops you?

Imonlyme · Mar 1, 2021

I've gone on a night out on my own before. My friend worked in a bar and I went alone while she was working.

Also went to the cinema alone and actually found it really good. Never been for a meal alone, but always wanted to try it. Just was never confident enough and thought people might have been thinking I was a sad little weirdo lol.

Longtimesnooper · Mar 1, 2021

I went to the cinema a few times on my own. I used to think it was weird but someone pointed out to me that it's not like you can speak through it anyway. Then I found out a few people I know do it so I thought why not & really enjoyed doing it! It was often difficult to arrange going with friends or my sister depending on what we were all working & my partner isn't into the same type of films as me so I would end up missing films I wanted to see. I also prefer going during the day when its quieter, slightly cheaper & less adverts

Imonlyme · Mar 1, 2021

Longtimesnooper said:
I went to the cinema a few times on my own. I used to think it was weird but someone pointed out to me that it's not like you can speak through it anyway. Then I found out a few people I know do it so I thought why not & really enjoyed doing it! It was often difficult to arrange going with friends or my sister depending on what we were all working & my partner isn't into the same type of films as me so I would end up missing films I wanted to see. I also prefer going during the day when its quieter, slightly cheaper & less adverts

I prefer going during the day too. Many times I've had the whole screen to myself.

Fizzwhizz2020 · Mar 1, 2021

I went everywhere on my own when I was single. I had to if I wanted to go anywhere as all my friends were married with kids. Took myself off on holiday to the other side of the world and it was the best holiday I’ve ever had. You only have yourself to please. And you meet loads of people when you’re on your own. No one bats an eyelid if you’re out at the cinema, having a few drinks etc on your own, I promise. Go for it, it’s liberating. It massively boosted my confidence x

Monkeybum · Mar 1, 2021

A few years back I had a huge holiday booked with my ex and another couple. In between paying and going we split up and couldn't get our money back. I still went and basically did the whole holiday on my own, 2 days round Orlando theme parks, then a week's carribbean cruise where I booked trips each day and finally a few beach days.

It was so liberating not having to please anyone, theme parks were great as I could do single rider so got both Universal theme parks done in a day

On the day trips people spoke to me more and generally an American family would adopt me when they knew I was alone

It really opened my eyes that you feel self conscious but actually people are so wrapped up in their own world that no-one batted an eyelid.

Kim Mild · Mar 1, 2021

I had an ex who worked in a pub so I'd go there myself while he was working. I had a friend who was extremely late all the time so I spent a lot of time waiting for her on my own in pubs. It didn't bother me back then , I'd often go for a quick drink on my own before getting the bus.

I used to take my child with me (to family friendly places) so I wasn't on my own when they were about 6 or 7.

Sometimes it's either do things alone or don't get to do them.

Warpaint · Mar 1, 2021

Pretty comfortable going solo. The cinema is fine as you're in a dark room anyway and there's not much interaction. I'd only do it with films I'd really want to see.

Been abroad 3 times as complete solo trips (the others I was meeting people there and staying with them). Was days away from going to Poland last year just before the lockdown.

I don't think I'd go to a full on restaurant on my own in the evening in the UK, but lunches it's no problem.

Museums and galleries are better alone anyway as you can just go at your own pace.

Rippedjeanmaybe · Mar 1, 2021

I’ve been to a fast food restaurant alone, but nothing more than that. I just get really on edge and I can’t relax really when I go places alone, I get too anxious.

my partner travels a lot for work, so he’s used to staying in hotels alone, going for meals alone in restaurants and he has been to the cinema and to the theatre alone when away for work before, he doesn’t mind it.

Saddlesoap · Mar 1, 2021

I would go to the cinema alone no problem.

I have eaten in a restaurant alone when I would stay in Newcastle when my husband was in hospital. I use to take a book. It felt very sad and lonely, but perhaps that was the circumstances.

BelleAmie · Mar 1, 2021

Reasonably comfortable doing stuff on my own. I go to the cinema on my own sometimes but I’m only brave enough to go during the day when it’s quiet

I go to Starbucks/fast food places alone, and I’d probably do more stuff on my own but I get too concerned with what other people will think/worry that people will feel sorry for me.

lemonlime · Mar 1, 2021

I love doing things on my own, especially cinema. Day time screening, you have your snacks and the theatre to yourself. Absolute bliss. I also like getting a meal or a coffee. Have done couple solo trips but I wouldn't go on a night out alone, mostly because men are rum and I wouldn't feel safe but also because I don't necessarily enjoy being in clubs etc. I don't mind having a cocktail etc. alone if I'm much earlier than my friends. I always have a book with me and even if I'm not feeling like reading, I watch around. Hardly anyone approaches me apart from unwanted few characters who would approach anything but that might be because I have a resting witch face and I tend to make it very obvious that I'm not there to make new friends

Museums and shopping, I'll actively avoid going with others because it's such a pain trying to please everyone or having to adjust your pace worrying about if you are going too fast/too slow.

If there is anyone who feels awkward or self conscious about doing things alone, give it a try once it's safe to go out and about. People honestly don't care, everyone is buried in their own heads, worrying about what others think of them. If someone feels sorry that you're spending time by yourself, that tells more about their inability to be with themselves than your situation tbh.

MyLittlePony25 · Mar 1, 2021

I have gone to costa/Starbucks alone and on occasions I have been to a pub for a quick drink by myself when passing through and stressed hahaha.

I plan on going to a couple of workout classes a week,I would never have gone alone before but after lockdown I think, why not!?

orlyb1310 · Mar 1, 2021

I'm an only child which I think has helped my confidence when doing things alone in public. I haven't been to a proper restaurant by myself and I'm not sure I'd feel confident enough to but (all of this pre-covid of course), I'll often eat in fast food places etc by myself, much prefer clothes shopping in town by myself because I don't need to feel guilty dragging my friends to places they're not interested in, not much of a cinema goer but I would go by myself if there was something I desperately wanted to see and nobody was interested in coming with. I haven't been on holiday abroad by myself and tbh I think I'd be a bit nervous navigating the airports and such alone. I haven't been to a gig alone yet but I have loads booked for this year that hopefully go ahead, some I'll be going with my friends and some alone - I didn't want to miss out on seeing my favourite artists just because my friends weren't interested. I am a bit nervous for them but get a couple of drinks in me and I'm sure I'll find someone to chat away to. I love my friends but I'm an introvert at heart so I honestly prefer just wandering about by myself. I can leave the house, eat and come home on my own terms and I'll generally be more productive. Like people have said, you might get glanced at for a split second but people don't care and you'll be forgotten about. Obviously having social anxiety is a whole different story though and it is important to distinguish the difference between being alone and lonliness.

coconochanel · Mar 2, 2021

orlyb1310 said:
I'm an only child which I think has helped my confidence when doing things alone in public. I haven't been to a proper restaurant by myself and I'm not sure I'd feel confident enough to but (all of this pre-covid of course), I'll often eat in fast food places etc by myself, much prefer clothes shopping in town by myself because I don't need to feel guilty dragging my friends to places they're not interested in, not much of a cinema goer but I would go by myself if there was something I desperately wanted to see and nobody was interested in coming with. I haven't been on holiday abroad by myself and tbh I think I'd be a bit nervous navigating the airports and such alone. I haven't been to a gig alone yet but I have loads booked for this year that hopefully go ahead, some I'll be going with my friends and some alone - I didn't want to miss out on seeing my favourite artists just because my friends weren't interested. I am a bit nervous for them but get a couple of drinks in me and I'm sure I'll find someone to chat away to. I love my friends but I'm an introvert at heart so I honestly prefer just wandering about by myself. I can leave the house, eat and come home on my own terms and I'll generally be more productive. Like people have said, you might get glanced at for a split second but people don't care and you'll be forgotten about. Obviously having social anxiety is a whole different story though and it is important to distinguish the difference between being alone and lonliness.

100% agree with clothes shopping on your own. Its so much less stressful.

PollyPerks · Mar 2, 2021

I've been going to gigs on my own since the 90s and I much prefer it that way, you can totally immerse yourself in enjoying the music without worrying about if someone else is having a good time / wants to go to the bar etc. I've been to the cinema on my own a few times too and gone on holidays and trips by myself (mostly within the UK). I'm naturally a solitary person so it suits me very well.

abccc_ · Mar 2, 2021

I’ve holidayed (in the UK) twice on my own when I was in between relationships in my mid 20s and I loved it. It was definitely a bit daunting for me at first but I’m so glad I did it. The first time I went out for dinner alone I took a book because I thought I might get bored, but I spent the whole time people watching

Never been to the cinema alone but I’d like to! It’s not like it’s a place to have a chat anyway so I doubt it makes much difference. (Plus - popcorn all to yourself)

Also - the first time I flew on a plane alone for a work trip I was shitting it as I’m a bit of a nervous flyer anyway, but now Im used to it I love flying alone! Especially getting breakfast at the airport beforehand, much less stressful on your own

Happy Lady · Mar 2, 2021

I'm quite comfortable going to a cafe alone but I've never been in a restaurant by myself. I'd also be happy going on a cruise alone because most of the time OH and I do different things during the day while at sea anyway, so it wouldn't be a problem. Everyone is always friendly.

OHs daughter goes back packing all over the world alone, meets new people, gets jobs abroad and has a fantastic time. She's 30.

Katykatykaty · Mar 2, 2021

I’ve eaten out on my own loads of times. I often travel for work (well I did pre-covid) so needed to eat on my own when I was out and about. I also often work from coffee shops in between meetings, more than happy on my own there.
I’ve been to the cinema on my own once and loved it. No one else wanted to see the film but I didn’t want to miss it. I would definitely do it again.
I’ve also done exercises classes on my own and joined a choir on my own too. I never really made friends at the choir so spent most of the time on my own, I was quite happy with this as I was just there to sing.
I reckon I would go on holiday on my own but only if it was somewhere I felt safe travelling alone.

The only thing on your list I’m not sure I’d do on my own would be visit a theme park because most of the fun is enjoying it with others - plus I’d be too scared to try big rides on my own.

mcfeez · Mar 2, 2021

I'm comfortable doing most stuff alone. I've been to the cinema alone before quite simply as I wanted to see something that none of my friends did haha. I travelled for work pre covid so that meant eating out alone in restaurants and its good (one of perks is, you are in total control of restaurant choice. For someone with picky friends this is a dream! I love trying new stuff!)

The idea of solo travelling really appeals to me but I'd need to feel safe wherever I was going, particularly as a woman.