Going Solo

[Fizzwhizz2020]

I went everywhere on my own when I was single. I had to if I wanted to go anywhere as all my friends were married with kids. Took myself off on holiday to the other side of the world and it was the best holiday I’ve ever had. You only have yourself to please. And you meet loads of people when you’re on your own. No one bats an eyelid if you’re out at the cinema, having a few drinks etc on your own, I promise. Go for it, it’s liberating. It massively boosted my confidence x

 

[XXSJPXX]

You guys have inspired me to start doing more things on my own from now on and to stop being such a baby
There have been so many gigs and films I have wanted to see in the past but had no one to go with so I just wouldn't go but after lockdown I'm going to start doing more things on my own

 

[Monkeybum]

A few years back I had a huge holiday booked with my ex and another couple. In between paying and going we split up and couldn't get our money back. I still went and basically did the whole holiday on my own, 2 days round Orlando theme parks, then a week's carribbean cruise where I booked trips each day and finally a few beach days.

It was so liberating not having to please anyone, theme parks were great as I could do single rider so got both Universal theme parks done in a day On the day trips people spoke to me more and generally an American family would adopt me when they knew I was alone

It really opened my eyes that you feel self conscious but actually people are so wrapped up in their own world that no-one batted an eyelid.

 

[Woolmercardington]

Yes, I do loads of stuff on my own. It always used to wind me up a bit if I went to a new a hobby class and people were there paired up, as usually the point to these things is to meet other people. Then if one friend stops going, so does the other one.

I honestly have no time for people who refuse to do anything on their own or think people that do are "sad".

I do understand their is a difference between choosing to do stuff on your own and having no choice and it's the latter that can make people feel self-conscious. But I honestly think more people should venture out on their tod.

 

[orlyb1310]

I'm an only child which I think has helped my confidence when doing things alone in public. I haven't been to a proper restaurant by myself and I'm not sure I'd feel confident enough to but (all of this pre-covid of course), I'll often eat in fast food places etc by myself, much prefer clothes shopping in town by myself because I don't need to feel guilty dragging my friends to places they're not interested in, not much of a cinema goer but I would go by myself if there was something I desperately wanted to see and nobody was interested in coming with. I haven't been on holiday abroad by myself and tbh I think I'd be a bit nervous navigating the airports and such alone. I haven't been to a gig alone yet but I have loads booked for this year that hopefully go ahead, some I'll be going with my friends and some alone - I didn't want to miss out on seeing my favourite artists just because my friends weren't interested. I am a bit nervous for them but get a couple of drinks in me and I'm sure I'll find someone to chat away to. I love my friends but I'm an introvert at heart so I honestly prefer just wandering about by myself. I can leave the house, eat and come home on my own terms and I'll generally be more productive. Like people have said, you might get glanced at for a split second but people don't care and you'll be forgotten about. Obviously having social anxiety is a whole different story though and it is important to distinguish the difference between being alone and lonliness.

 

[Longtimesnooper]

I went to the cinema a few times on my own. I used to think it was weird but someone pointed out to me that it's not like you can speak through it anyway. Then I found out a few people I know do it so I thought why not & really enjoyed doing it! It was often difficult to arrange going with friends or my sister depending on what we were all working & my partner isn't into the same type of films as me so I would end up missing films I wanted to see. I also prefer going during the day when its quieter, slightly cheaper & less adverts

 

[coconochanel]

I'm an only child which I think has helped my confidence when doing things alone in public. I haven't been to a proper restaurant by myself and I'm not sure I'd feel confident enough to but (all of this pre-covid of course), I'll often eat in fast food places etc by myself, much prefer clothes shopping in town by myself because I don't need to feel guilty dragging my friends to places they're not interested in, not much of a cinema goer but I would go by myself if there was something I desperately wanted to see and nobody was interested in coming with. I haven't been on holiday abroad by myself and tbh I think I'd be a bit nervous navigating the airports and such alone. I haven't been to a gig alone yet but I have loads booked for this year that hopefully go ahead, some I'll be going with my friends and some alone - I didn't want to miss out on seeing my favourite artists just because my friends weren't interested. I am a bit nervous for them but get a couple of drinks in me and I'm sure I'll find someone to chat away to. I love my friends but I'm an introvert at heart so I honestly prefer just wandering about by myself. I can leave the house, eat and come home on my own terms and I'll generally be more productive. Like people have said, you might get glanced at for a split second but people don't care and you'll be forgotten about. Obviously having social anxiety is a whole different story though and it is important to distinguish the difference between being alone and lonliness.

100% agree with clothes shopping on your own. Its so much less stressful.

 

[Gossipingginger]

I really need to start doing things on my own. This pandemic has opened my eyes up to that. I’m single and all my friends are with someone and have kids. I often feel like I’m waiting for things to happen and then sometimes they don’t happen as well which is annoying. I really need to push myself but it’s nerve racking but on the other hand I know it is me stopping myself at the same time. I need to stop being a baby and just do it

 

[under the ivy]

I travelled around Germany on my own - it was the best! I spoke to loads of people and didn’t feel phased at all. I’m definitely going to travel on my own more when things get better / saved money.

Always wanted to go to the cinema on my own though. I love shopping by myself and walking around museums etc.

 

[lemonlime]

I love doing things on my own, especially cinema. Day time screening, you have your snacks and the theatre to yourself. Absolute bliss. I also like getting a meal or a coffee. Have done couple solo trips but I wouldn't go on a night out alone, mostly because men are scum and I wouldn't feel safe but also because I don't necessarily enjoy being in clubs etc. I don't mind having a cocktail etc. alone if I'm much earlier than my friends. I always have a book with me and even if I'm not feeling like reading, I watch around. Hardly anyone approaches me apart from unwanted few characters who would approach anything but that might be because I have a resting bitch face and I tend to make it very obvious that I'm not there to make new friends Museums and shopping, I'll actively avoid going with others because it's such a pain trying to please everyone or having to adjust your pace worrying about if you are going too fast/too slow.

If there is anyone who feels awkward or self conscious about doing things alone, give it a try once it's safe to go out and about. People honestly don't care, everyone is buried in their own heads, worrying about what others think of them. If someone feels sorry that you're spending time by yourself, that tells more about their inability to be with themselves than your situation tbh.

 

[abccc_]

I’ve holidayed (in the UK) twice on my own when I was in between relationships in my mid 20s and I loved it. It was definitely a bit daunting for me at first but I’m so glad I did it. The first time I went out for dinner alone I took a book because I thought I might get bored, but I spent the whole time people watching

Never been to the cinema alone but I’d like to! It’s not like it’s a place to have a chat anyway so I doubt it makes much difference. (Plus - popcorn all to yourself)

Also - the first time I flew on a plane alone for a work trip I was shitting it as I’m a bit of a nervous flyer anyway, but now Im used to it I love flying alone! Especially getting breakfast at the airport beforehand, much less stressful on your own

 

[lime]

I love going to the cinema on my own. Haven't been since November 2019 and can't wait for the theatres to re-open. It's pure escapism. I don't get why society ever told us it's sad to go by yourself. Coffee shops and cafes doesn't bother me. I'm usually enjoying my sandwich/coffee and a book. Three years ago I wanted to go to a concert that no one was interested in so I went by myself. I personally wouldn't go to a restaurant or bar alone as to me the whole point of me going is that it's a social thing to do but I know people who have done those things alone. Years ago I had such bad anxiety I could barely walk in a public place alone so I really relish my independence.

 

[Fofoca]

I’m not a social person so often do things by myself. I enjoy my own company and I live alone so I’m accustomed to being by myself (a blessing over the last year!)

In response to your examples:

Eat out - all the time. I’ve not gone to a Michelin starred place alone but casual and semi nice places are fine.
Cinema - I don’t go a lot but if I do I’ve gone alone. As other have said, not like I need to talk to anyone.
Hobby class - yes and it’s re nice. Although I’m not social I’m not shy about striking up a conversation with strangers. And usually I’m listening or doing something so a buddy isn’t needed.
Theme park - I haven’t been to a theme park in about 20 years and can’t imagine going to one now but I would go alone.
Night out - I’m not a night out type person (are we taking about clubbing?) so have not done this alone before.
Holiday - all the time. I don’t like to compromise (I’m selfish what can I say!) so holidaying alone is heaven to me. Go where I want when I want. Eat what I want. Take naps if I’m feeling lazy. Japan was the best place to be alone. Safe and didn’t have to worry about getting into tiny ramen places! Even somewhere like LA was fun as it gives you opportunity to talk to other people/people approach you more.

I’ve always been a loner but I’m confident and as I said, not shy in the slightest. I think that makes it easier for me to do stuff by myself. I never think, “are people looking at me because I’m by myself? Do I look like a loser?”.

Sometimes I get stuck talking to strangers when I want to be left alone - that’s the only downfall - people are always trying to adopt you!

 

[LittleMy]

I’ve went to the cinema on my own loads. Used to do it a lot when I had the Unlimited Card. Family and friends used to take the piss out of me for it but I don’t know why because you’re literally just sitting in silence watching a film.

I don’t think I could go out drinking by myself or anything like that. I’m too introverted and would feel awkward. The idea of travelling alone scares me too much.

 

[Warpaint]

Pretty comfortable going solo. The cinema is fine as you're in a dark room anyway and there's not much interaction. I'd only do it with films I'd really want to see.

Been abroad 3 times as complete solo trips (the others I was meeting people there and staying with them). Was days away from going to Poland last year just before the lockdown.

I don't think I'd go to a full on restaurant on my own in the evening in the UK, but lunches it's no problem.

Museums and galleries are better alone anyway as you can just go at your own pace.

 

[DanaScully]

How comfortable are you to do activities on your own in public?

Would you go for a meal, to the cinema, to a hobby class, to a theme park, for a night out, on holiday? Have you done any of these things alone in the past?

If you wouldn't do any of these things solo, what is it that stops you?

 

[Imonlyme]

I went to the cinema a few times on my own. I used to think it was weird but someone pointed out to me that it's not like you can speak through it anyway. Then I found out a few people I know do it so I thought why not & really enjoyed doing it! It was often difficult to arrange going with friends or my sister depending on what we were all working & my partner isn't into the same type of films as me so I would end up missing films I wanted to see. I also prefer going during the day when its quieter, slightly cheaper & less adverts

I prefer going during the day too. Many times I've had the whole screen to myself.

 

[PollyPerks]

I've been going to gigs on my own since the 90s and I much prefer it that way, you can totally immerse yourself in enjoying the music without worrying about if someone else is having a good time / wants to go to the bar etc. I've been to the cinema on my own a few times too and gone on holidays and trips by myself (mostly within the UK). I'm naturally a solitary person so it suits me very well.

 

[Saddlesoap]

I would go to the cinema alone no problem.

I have eaten in a restaurant alone when I would stay in Newcastle when my husband was in hospital. I use to take a book. It felt very sad and lonely, but perhaps that was the circumstances.

 

[Imonlyme]

I've gone on a night out on my own before. My friend worked in a bar and I went alone while she was working.

Also went to the cinema alone and actually found it really good. Never been for a meal alone, but always wanted to try it. Just was never confident enough and thought people might have been thinking I was a sad little weirdo lol.