The amount of stuff online that has been removed over the years, numerous accounts online detailing behaviour, and still women who didn't even know him will blindly defend him, while being on a website calling out influencers for day-to-day indiscretions.
Its sad watching people post their experiences and then being ripped to shreds by anon accounts asking, 'but what age were you', 'Did you tell anyone else' 'Marketa is still friends with him'.... and then having to delete them for their own safety.
It's so disheartening to see, and people ask why women don't speak out loud. If we've learnt anything, it should be to disagree with something if you want, but if people are posting their lived experiences, I'd rather give them the space and let the dust settle, rather than go to bat for a dead person I didn't know.
It's true. We rarely tell anyone or if we do, it's only the closest people. Rarely do we do something about it. For example I know I've been harassed, propositioned, even grabbed, multiple times over the years; on the dance floor, passing by a group of guys sitting at a table in a restaurant, even on the street walking with my guitar someone had the nerve to grab my ass and give me a drunken compliment that did not feel like a compliment. Did I do something about it? No. I was too flustered and embarrassed, didn't want to cause any trouble and in some cases, only realised after the fact what just happened. If I had done something, people would've laughed it off, told me to take it as a compliment and not be a tight ass.
Actually now I remember one occasion where I stood up. When I was a teen, the older boyfriend of a friend of my friend (sounds weird but my friend invited me to a party organised by her friend who I didn't know) wanted to "talk to me" and cornered me into a bedroom at a house party. I broke out of the room and stormed down the stairs. That time I did tell people what happened because obviously they saw me storming out, I told everyone that I just did not feel comfortable being alone with that guy. Guess did anyone believe me? Of course not. Everyone laughed and said I was probably too drunk for making such a misjudgement and the guy laughed it off as well.
That said, sometimes men get that too. I've heard some eye-opening stories from my husband and I must admit I thought men rarely suffered from such issues. And I'm not sure it's any easier for men to come forward if a woman has acted inappropriately towards them. As my husband said, "what can you do, you just tried to get away from them. You can't exactly be forceful with a woman trying to rip your clothes off because how does that look, like you're being the violent one." Plus, people do not really believe men accusing women of harassment. "Sure, she harassed you, sure you resisted, yeah right..."
I guess we have a long way to go with this whole thing, both women and men. The creeps get away and the victims are left feeling like they should just get over it.
Did he have a spare helmet and would people just casually be up for a ride on a motor bike...? And since it's a musician, surely they had their instrument with them too?
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