Getting out of a lease

[Libertine1975]

Check your lease it might have a break clause allowing you to end the lease after 3 months (most 12 month leases have a clause after 6 months).

If your boyfriend was living with you he should have been noted on the lease as a lodger if the Landlord knew he was living there.

Can you speak to your landlord and see whether he will transfer the lease into your partners name? Or ask if he will let you break the lease (he might charge you for this)

 

[HelloStereo]

I'm sorry to hear that.

Perhaps you can talk to your landlord and ask if you can find replacement tenants? I am on a Facebook group that advertises rooms etc in London and a few adverts are posted by people who are moving due to Covid and looking for someone else to take up the lease.

Or there might be something in your contract about a break clause where you can give a month's notice to move. Although as posted above me have said, you might need to have been there for six months or so before giving notice.

 

[Sazbee]

I would kick him out but it's not as simple as that unfortunately. He will make a fuss and try to take our animals which will put them on the street too if he doesn't have anywhere immediate to live. I moved to a different part of the country for his work and I don't want to live here on my own as there is nothing here for me. No family or friends. It's a 1 bedroom so a lodger is not an option.

I never wanted this to happen. I don't want to leave him. But he lies and denies all knowledge and makes excuses instead of just admitting that he actually did something wrong and I can't cope with it. He will 100% do it again.

Hey. Are you in England? Is it an assured shorthold tenancy? What’s the term. Also does your bf know you want to leave? Sorry for all the questions... if it’s in England I can help. PM me if you want (if you don’t want to give details out here )

Thank you I am in England. What can you advise?

 

[Georgethecat]

Keep us up to date, tread carefully. You need to keep yourself safe, that's good you are okay with waiting a few more days. I'd be worried about how it all pans out as he seems to be quite the manipulator from the scenarios you have already described.

Things happen and this is when you learn life lessons and where take more care in future. I hope you have someone in real life you can confide in.

 

[yankydoo]

Hey. Are you in England? Is it an assured shorthold tenancy? What’s the term. Also does your bf know you want to leave? Sorry for all the questions... if it’s in England I can help. PM me if you want (if you don’t want to give details out here )

 

[Sazbee]

I'm sorry I haven't replied to anyone. I've been very ill and been admitted to hospital. I've only been replying to the more lighthearted threads on here because I'm struggling to think about everything. My family are about 50 miles away which isn't too far. The saddest thing is I don't want to leave him. I know I have to. I don't have much choice. But I don't want to.

 

[Keikochan]

Omg I didn’t read it properly sorry. If the Tenancy is in your name only he’s technically a lodger so you can kick him out and change the locks

Yeah but the rent is still the same and might just be too much for 1 person.

 

[Sazbee]

I'm sorry to hear that.

Perhaps you can talk to your landlord and ask if you can find replacement tenants? I am on a Facebook group that advertises rooms etc in London and a few adverts are posted by people who are moving due to Covid and looking for someone else to take up the lease.

Or there might be something in your contract about a break clause where you can give a month's notice to move. Although as posted above me have said, you might need to have been there for six months or so before giving notice.

I will look on Facebook to see if there are any groups and talk to my landlord tomorrow. Unfortunately seeing as my boyfriend is here today I cannot really do much.

 

[Sazbee]

Oh @Sazbee I'm sorry you are ill. Have you been able to speak to any of your family yet? Even to let them know where you are? I completely understand that you love him and want to stay in the relationship but you deserve so much better. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

@Sazbee you poor thing, I hope you get well soon. It can be hard to walk away from a relationship, even when you know it’s the right thing to do. If you still love someone, you can’t switch those feelings off, but at some point your survival instincts need to kick in - this relationship is not making you happy and it sounds like it’s making you quite unwell.

It may sound like a cliche, but it will get better and in time you’ll look back on this time and realise that you’re a lot stronger than maybe you give yourself credit for.

Thank you both. I'm doing better now I'm in hospital. Weirdly it's actually the best place to think about things. My family know where I am and some of the situation. I know you are both right and it will get better. I was with someone else for 6 years who did similar to me. Then another for 4 years who emotionally abused me so I know I can get out and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Think I'm just so desperate to be happy.

 

[judgejohndeed]

There are a lot of other problems with the flat itself that I could cite as reasons. There is a large amount of damp and mould appearing which is causing me health problems. I dunno. I'm tired and ill and so sad and broken I can't cope with it all.

Have you gone to the CAB? They should be able to help you with the contract

 

[HelloStereo]

I will look on Facebook to see if there are any groups and talk to my landlord tomorrow. Unfortunately seeing as my boyfriend is here today I cannot really do much.

Yes, I think the best thing to do for now is talk to your landlord and come to some sort of agreement. Perhaps if you can find a replacement you can end your lease early.

Have you asked your boyfriend to leave the house? You said he was there, is he collecting his things? If you can wait until tomorrow that's okay, if you want to do it asap and not in front of your boyfriend is there a way you can take a little walk and call your landlord?

 

[Sazbee]

I'd be concerned that he's made you move across country, put the apartment lease in your name, he's still using dating apps. All this is huge red flags. You are right, he won't change. He's not shown an ounce of commitment at all. He's actually trapped you there with him away from all your friends and family.

how long have you been together if you have animals together? I thought from your post this was a recent relationship since you are not long into the lease.

so sorry you're faced with this not sure what I'd do in the same situation. I wouldn't want to stay but I wouldn't want to be faced with paying the rent on my own in a place I didn't want to live. If you can't trust him it's going to cause you so much stress for the remainder of your relationship if you don't break it off with him.

There are reasons that the lease is in my name. Mostly because he is an illegal immigrant and does not have official ID or a bank account (I know, it just gets worse and worse but love makes you an idiot).

I feel so alone here. We have been together a year and a half and were living together previously through lockdown in a shared house that he was living in when I met him. One of the animals was from that house and one we have bought together. He will try and take the first one for sure and I cannot have it put in that situation so I need to take the animals and move out first if that makes sense.

He is gaslighting me and taking no responsibility for his actions. Telling me he doesn't know what I'm doing everyday and that he wants to look at my phone. Basically turning this all around on me and making it my fault. I know the easiest thing would be to just walk out right now and not look back but it's really not that simple.

I am also ill with a bad chest infection which has left me unable to walk across the room without getting severely out of breath so even if I wanted to pack up I couldn't. It's such a mess it's unbelievable.

Yes, I think the best thing to do for now is talk to your landlord and come to some sort of agreement. Perhaps if you can find a replacement you can end your lease early.

Have you asked your boyfriend to leave the house? You said he was there, is he collecting his things? If you can wait until tomorrow that's okay, if you want to do it asap and not in front of your boyfriend is there a way you can take a little walk and call your landlord?

Tomorrow is safest for me. I can wait one more night. It's mostly about the animals and their safety. He knows he needs to go but doesn't know if I can break the contract or not and he doesn't currently have anywhere to go so I want to give him a bit of time to find somewhere. He has mightily fucked me over but I don't just want to put him out on the street.

 

[Lauz666]

How far away are you from your family?
I really hope you're okay