This OP . This person was not right for you and you do deserve better . Don't be like me and years down the line wonder why you were not 'good enough' you were too good that's why it did not work .He's not with you because you're too good for him and deserve better. The world knew this and he knew this, you'll know it one day too. Truth. Leave it at that. I know it's easier said than done but want to echo what everyone else has said, don't meet him again.
Oh hun I’m sorry to hear you are going through all of that. I know how hard break ups can be and how it’s almost unfathomable to understand how people can treat you.I agree with what everyone else has said. It sucks, but closure is a myth, in my humble opinion.
OP, sending you all the good vibes in the world. One day this will all be a distant memoryand you’ll be so much happier. When I had my absolutely devastating breakup, a couple of books were my absolute bibles: Getting Past Your Breakup by Susan Elliott and It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken by Greg Ahrendt. Highly recommend!
As an aside, it’s actually a bit emotional for me to read all this stuff - I also had a pre lockdown breakup and I swear to God I’m the only person in my extended social circle to ever get dumped so while I’m sad for everyone else here who’s been through it, it makes me feel way more normal! It was my second ‘big’ breakup so I knew the drill and did all the right things during lockdown: therapy, exercise, feeling feelings but also taking charge of my mental health and and also got a new job and new flat and new car. Dated a few guys and was feeling good and almost recovered from it but this month I can. not. stop. thinking about him. I think it’s lockdown and all the engagement and new baby announcements I keep getting from my friends, maybe? I’m praying the universe will reunite us but I know that if I reach out it’ll only end in (my) tears. Anyone else had that, where you think you’re well over someone and then months later it all comes flooding back? I’m sure it’ll pass and I have to put in the effort to at least try to change my thought patterns but it’s so hard.
And @Upintheair83, your post gave me hope as our situations sound relatively similar, so thank you
YES!!! It comes flooding back at the weirdest times - it's been over a year and I've seen other people since but the other day I was driving home from work and all of a sudden went to call him as if it were only yesterday we'd split.I agree with what everyone else has said. It sucks, but closure is a myth, in my humble opinion.
OP, sending you all the good vibes in the world. One day this will all be a distant memoryand you’ll be so much happier. When I had my absolutely devastating breakup, a couple of books were my absolute bibles: Getting Past Your Breakup by Susan Elliott and It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken by Greg Ahrendt. Highly recommend!
As an aside, it’s actually a bit emotional for me to read all this stuff - I also had a pre lockdown breakup and I swear to God I’m the only person in my extended social circle to ever get dumped so while I’m sad for everyone else here who’s been through it, it makes me feel way more normal! It was my second ‘big’ breakup so I knew the drill and did all the right things during lockdown: therapy, exercise, feeling feelings but also taking charge of my mental health and and also got a new job and new flat and new car. Dated a few guys and was feeling good and almost recovered from it but this month I can. not. stop. thinking about him. I think it’s lockdown and all the engagement and new baby announcements I keep getting from my friends, maybe? I’m praying the universe will reunite us but I know that if I reach out it’ll only end in (my) tears. Anyone else had that, where you think you’re well over someone and then months later it all comes flooding back? I’m sure it’ll pass and I have to put in the effort to at least try to change my thought patterns but it’s so hard.
And @Upintheair83, your post gave me hope as our situations sound relatively similar, so thank you
Could you ask someone else to pick Up your things? Be careful opening up those conversations. If you can forget those clothes, then do.Hi everyone, thank you so much for all your replies and advice. I’ve been strong and haven’t contacted him to ask to chat re: closure because this is tough time of year for me (never been a fan of christmas) and I’m absolutely dreading thinking about Christmas Day and New Year as we always spent it together so this year is going to be very different! Luckily I have family who I’ll be spending it with.
I’m very busy with my work, studying to gain a PhD so that keeps me occupied. But thoughts of him creep in at the most random times like a few posters have said - I was hoovering earlier and thought of him, weird!
I wasn’t expecting my healing to be linear and easy. I have good and bad days. On the bad days I want to speak to him, scream at him, text him. On the good days I think how independent and strong I am. Hopefully I’ll have more good days than bad in the future.
I don’t think I will seek closure from him, but I’m very aware that I have some belongings at his house which is playing on my mind (clothes mainly). I would like these back but not sure how to approach it. And tbh, I’m thinking they’re just clothes that are replaceable and not important in the grand scheme of things.
Thanks again xx
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