he deletes his history but sometimes he must forget. It’s whenever I leave the house or at one point it would be whenever I left the room etc. idk I just see it as why would he want to look at someone else when he has me. I don’t see it as any different to someone sending him pics and vids. X
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When you look at it like that I can see exactly what you mean. I would be upset if it was every single time.
Maybe a sex ban until he asks why? (Might be a rubbish suggestion!) x
i tried this and he just watched porn still hahah can’t win x
@Luce0331whats funny?Girlies this is off topic but my boyfriend watches porn.. I know this is what most guys do however it’s whenever I leave the house or it was when I would bath our son etc. I’ve told him it really upsets me and I’m not comfortable with it at all doing it whenever I leave the room. I don’t know why I don’t like it I just don’t see why he would rather look at another woman in that way when he has me. I don’t know if I’m over reacting it just makes me feel like
@Luce0331 whats funny??Girlies this is off topic but my boyfriend watches porn.. I know this is what most guys do however it’s whenever I leave the house or it was when I would bath our son etc. I’ve told him it really upsets me and I’m not comfortable with it at all doing it whenever I leave the room. I don’t know why I don’t like it I just don’t see why he would rather look at another woman in that way when he has me. I don’t know if I’m over reacting it just makes me feel like
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I know this isn't exactly what you want to hear, but you need to talk to him. It's clearly not about you or sex if you are still getting it on often, seems more like a behavior/compulsion. He's probably not actually doing it for the sexual gratification more because its a habit.
agree with this. There’s a reason for everything and it might be quite deep-rooted for him so perhaps something he needs to look into a bit more to understand the ‘why’ behind it. I appreciate that the majority of men do it and enjoy it but it shouldn’t be taking it’s toll like this as that’s not fair.
I think you need to be more firm with him and say that it’s becoming a serious issue and it’s concerning you, especially as your little one gets older you don’t want that going on in the house where they could potentially wander in or come across something.
I woul
Yeah I'd feel exactly the same, i think I'd rather not know tbh but watching it whilst your bathing your son is not very nice at all I think that's a bit out of orderGirlies this is off topic but my boyfriend watches porn.. I know this is what most guys do however it’s whenever I leave the house or it was when I would bath our son etc. I’ve told him it really upsets me and I’m not comfortable with it at all doing it whenever I leave the room. I don’t know why I don’t like it I just don’t see why he would rather look at another woman in that way when he has me. I don’t know if I’m over reacting it just makes me feel like
Just a rant here!
I've been with my partner for just over 2 years, and living together for 1. When we moved in together he promised he would learn to drive as a compromise, as I moved to his hometown. I'm 26 and he'll be 30 in October; before living together we both lived with our parents. I had driving lessons 3 years ago and after failing my test I haven't driven since due to my anxiety. Whenever I bring up the subject he always says he'll get it sorted soon... and now he has the excuse of Covid-19.
We've also talked about trying for a baby. We agreed we would start trying in March this year and I took my implant out, but after I did this he said that he didn't want to try just yet, he likes it being just us for now. We've had numerous discussions that result in the same outcome as the driving.
Just generally fed up to be honest! I love him very much, he's my world, but nothing ever seems to change.
I've been with my partner for just over 2 years, and living together for 1. When we moved in together he promised he would learn to drive as a compromise, as I moved to his hometown. I'm 26 and he'll be 30 in October; before living together we both lived with our parents. I had driving lessons 3 years ago and after failing my test I haven't driven since due to my anxiety. Whenever I bring up the subject he always says he'll get it sorted soon... and now he has the excuse of Covid-19.
We've also talked about trying for a baby. We agreed we would start trying in March this year and I took my implant out, but after I did this he said that he didn't want to try just yet, he likes it being just us for now. We've had numerous discussions that result in the same outcome as the driving.
Just generally fed up to be honest! I love him very much, he's my world, but nothing ever seems to change.
is driving/having a car necessary? Owning a car is expensive and if you don’t NEED it, I don’t see the point of pushing it. Also maybe he doesn’t want it all to be on him? It sounds like he’d be the only one driving.
As for the question about trying for a baby: this is something you should NEVER push on anyone. If he doesn’t feel ready, it’s better he says it now than when you have a tiny human to take care of and it causes friction in the relationship. You still have plenty of time to try for a baby. Also given that you both lived with your parents up until a year ago, I can see why he feels like he wants to enjoy the current situation for a little while longer.
but I have to say: you two seem to be on completely different pages about big things so maybe try counselling? It could help to have a sort of mediator to keep things civilised while having difficult discussions and also you could both learn new tools for better communication and problem solving within the relationship.
Hey!
The reason I'm frustrated is because he promised me that if I moved away from my family and he got to stay close to his when we moved in together, that he would learn to drive to help take me to visit my family and back. He keeps saying he wants to drive also, but actions speak louder than words.
Yes, I'd never push or pressure him into having a baby as I wouldn't feel proper excitement knowing he doesn't really want it. The issue here is we've discussed this topic frequently as both my parents were terminally ill with cancer and I wanted them to meet their grandchildren. My dad died last year but my mum is still here although I don't know how long for. This is why I would like to try for a baby sooner rather than later. Again, the whole time we've been together he's said he also wants kids at some point and agreed for me to take my implant out, but now he's backtracking which is so frustrating.
I don't understand why people can't just be honest about how they're feeling instead of pretending and getting people's hopes up! It just ends up making everything worse.
Sorry for the rant and thank you for replying - just me being hormonal I think, haha!
I get that and I’m sorry for your loss! My dad passed away when I was 19 so lots of things that he was supposed to be a part of now were not that exciting.
however, no matter how difficult this might be, I think it’s healthier to not put any pressure on either of you about a deadline - It might actually mess with being able to conceive.
you getting your implant removed could have been a wake up call, basically he realised it really is happening and it probably dawned on him how it would change everything. I know it’s frustrating because it’s somethimg you really want.
as for the driving thing: maybe there is something more to it? Maybe he is anxious about driving too or has other concerns. Or he just simply doesn’t understand why this would be so important for you and I’m not saying he doesn’t care or listen to you, he just doesn’t actually grasp how much it would mean to you. This is why I said maybe counselling could help. New ways to communicate and explain things to each other. Also it helps that there is another adult in the room, who won’t get emotional or defensive if you went.
however, no matter how difficult this might be, I think it’s healthier to not put any pressure on either of you about a deadline - It might actually mess with being able to conceive.
you getting your implant removed could have been a wake up call, basically he realised it really is happening and it probably dawned on him how it would change everything. I know it’s frustrating because it’s somethimg you really want.
as for the driving thing: maybe there is something more to it? Maybe he is anxious about driving too or has other concerns. Or he just simply doesn’t understand why this would be so important for you and I’m not saying he doesn’t care or listen to you, he just doesn’t actually grasp how much it would mean to you. This is why I said maybe counselling could help. New ways to communicate and explain things to each other. Also it helps that there is another adult in the room, who won’t get emotional or defensive if you went.
Thank you, I'm sorry you had to go through something similar also, especially being so young.
Definitely - communication is the most important part of a relationship, and this is something that needs to be looked into. I'd just rather he be honest than continually let me down. Maybe mentioning counselling will be a wake up call for him too; that these issues are really important to me and not something that can just be glossed over.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to me! I really appreciate it.
Really pleased I’ve stumbled across this thread as I need a bit of a rant.
You know when you just have one of those days that in all honesty wasn’t even that bad, but you can’t seem to control your reactions or emotions to it? I’m having one of those.
My daughter is 1 and is going through a phase of whinging at everything. She’s teething too which isn’t helping but I honestly get to the end of the day and want to shut myself in another room just so I don’t have to hear the noise. It’s so unreasonable and I know she’s only little and it’s her only way of telling me somethings up, but I just can’t handle the noise without having a really overly emotional reaction. I feel my heart start to pound and I clench my fists so tight that my nails dig into the palms of my hand and make it bleed.
I haven’t suffered from any post natal depression, just a lot of anxiety about her safety when she was a lot younger. Some days I seem to have endless patience and other days I can barely handle it.
Anyone who’s in a similar position, what do you do to calm down? To talk yourself out of it?
You know when you just have one of those days that in all honesty wasn’t even that bad, but you can’t seem to control your reactions or emotions to it? I’m having one of those.
My daughter is 1 and is going through a phase of whinging at everything. She’s teething too which isn’t helping but I honestly get to the end of the day and want to shut myself in another room just so I don’t have to hear the noise. It’s so unreasonable and I know she’s only little and it’s her only way of telling me somethings up, but I just can’t handle the noise without having a really overly emotional reaction. I feel my heart start to pound and I clench my fists so tight that my nails dig into the palms of my hand and make it bleed.
I haven’t suffered from any post natal depression, just a lot of anxiety about her safety when she was a lot younger. Some days I seem to have endless patience and other days I can barely handle it.
Anyone who’s in a similar position, what do you do to calm down? To talk yourself out of it?
I've had the same.. my daughter is 10 months old and sometimes she has days where she moans constantly and I was beginning to give her a dummy 24/7 and would pass her on to someone else as soon as I could (like my parents or my boyfriend). I realised that I was getting slightly detached from her and sometimes all she would want/need is her mum (me).
I found the thing that helped most was going out, you can go for walks or to a local park just to get out. You could also meet friends and family (as I’m sure they love seeing you both anyway) and it gives you a bit of a break.
when your daughter is asleep make the most of it!!! Sit down and have lunch, run yourself a nice long bath, read or do something you find relaxing. I find that when I let my daughter moan by herself it makes me feel worse about myself but when I try and help her as much as I can by playing with her, eating with her etc she loves it!
there has been a day or two where I’ve nearly given up because I’m tired, exhausted and stressed and the baby won’t stop crying but that’s part of being a mum. Don’t forget you are doing an amazing job! Looking after a child constantly can be draining and I admire anyone who does it with patience!
sometimes you just have to stop what you’re doing and remind yourself that your little girl loves and needs you. She wouldn’t be here without you. Sending love and hugs
Thank you for your reply, I really needed it.I've had the same.. my daughter is 10 months old and sometimes she has days where she moans constantly and I was beginning to give her a dummy 24/7 and would pass her on to someone else as soon as I could (like my parents or my boyfriend). I realised that I was getting slightly detached from her and sometimes all she would want/need is her mum (me).
I found the thing that helped most was going out, you can go for walks or to a local park just to get out. You could also meet friends and family (as I’m sure they love seeing you both anyway) and it gives you a bit of a break.
when your daughter is asleep make the most of it!!! Sit down and have lunch, run yourself a nice long bath, read or do something you find relaxing. I find that when I let my daughter moan by herself it makes me feel worse about myself but when I try and help her as much as I can by playing with her, eating with her etc she loves it!
there has been a day or two where I’ve nearly given up because I’m tired, exhausted and stressed and the baby won’t stop crying but that’s part of being a mum. Don’t forget you are doing an amazing job! Looking after a child constantly can be draining and I admire anyone who does it with patience!
sometimes you just have to stop what you’re doing and remind yourself that your little girl loves and needs you. She wouldn’t be here without you. Sending love and hugs
You’re right with everything you’ve said and there’s some great advice there. Thank you so much x
Here to voice my frustration..
I've been trying to practice French (don't know my level, probably a beginner) and I can't find someone to practice with.
I have a fluent friend but she's not excited to help at all so i don't want to be bothering her..
I decided to give pen pal sites a try but it just freaks me out as I feel like they're all just scammers/pretending to be someone else (paranoid much?)
And now i just don't know what i can do about it. I just need someone to chat with and to correct my errors. I don't to be friends/get personal as the internet is not the most trustworthy place...
I've been trying to practice French (don't know my level, probably a beginner) and I can't find someone to practice with.
I have a fluent friend but she's not excited to help at all so i don't want to be bothering her..
I decided to give pen pal sites a try but it just freaks me out as I feel like they're all just scammers/pretending to be someone else (paranoid much?)
And now i just don't know what i can do about it. I just need someone to chat with and to correct my errors. I don't to be friends/get personal as the internet is not the most trustworthy place...
In need of a bit of a rant.
Lived in my flat 2 and a half years (renting) with a friend and this lockdown is driving me insane. She doesn’t know if she wants to live in London anymore- which is fair enough and doesn’t want to think about moving until our lease is up. 2021 is a bit of a crazy year for me and I’m really unhappy where we are living. We have someone on our street playing loud music morning noon and night, no space for me to have a desk for a proper work from home setup and I’m not going back to the office most likely until the new year. Getting my own flat would be expensive and lonely. Buying feels impossible at the moment.
I think lockdown is brining about the worst of us both. At the beginning she wouldn’t be happy if I took more than one walk a day- I needed more for my sanity, especially since our flat is small and has no outdoor space. She’s had a bit of a go at me twice over cleaning- as though I’m the only one that sometimes leaves a dish or two in the sink or forgets to wipe the side down.
I honestly feel like the walls are closing in. Spending every day working from home, with a stressful job and no escape. Work is another story entirely. I’m a team of two servicing 250, with all of our grads/entry level colleagues on furlough, working US hours as well as UK - with a lot of pressure to automate and streamline things whilst fighting fires on the daily because projects are increasing whilst we still don’t have most of the furloughed people back. I’m sick of sending neggy emails every other day and feeling crap about the flat and like I’m walking on eggshells with my friend.
Sorry for the rant- I just really needed it off my chest before I throw an absolute paddy.
Lived in my flat 2 and a half years (renting) with a friend and this lockdown is driving me insane. She doesn’t know if she wants to live in London anymore- which is fair enough and doesn’t want to think about moving until our lease is up. 2021 is a bit of a crazy year for me and I’m really unhappy where we are living. We have someone on our street playing loud music morning noon and night, no space for me to have a desk for a proper work from home setup and I’m not going back to the office most likely until the new year. Getting my own flat would be expensive and lonely. Buying feels impossible at the moment.
I think lockdown is brining about the worst of us both. At the beginning she wouldn’t be happy if I took more than one walk a day- I needed more for my sanity, especially since our flat is small and has no outdoor space. She’s had a bit of a go at me twice over cleaning- as though I’m the only one that sometimes leaves a dish or two in the sink or forgets to wipe the side down.
I honestly feel like the walls are closing in. Spending every day working from home, with a stressful job and no escape. Work is another story entirely. I’m a team of two servicing 250, with all of our grads/entry level colleagues on furlough, working US hours as well as UK - with a lot of pressure to automate and streamline things whilst fighting fires on the daily because projects are increasing whilst we still don’t have most of the furloughed people back. I’m sick of sending neggy emails every other day and feeling crap about the flat and like I’m walking on eggshells with my friend.
Sorry for the rant- I just really needed it off my chest before I throw an absolute paddy.
I completely understand and think it is probably just the lockdown getting to you guys. When things start to open up again as they are right now and you can socialise outside and see other people, you may start looking at each other with a little bit more affection. I think lockdown has been really hard for some of us and we are really struggling with constantly being at home. Hang in there! It will get better and you can think through things in more depth if you really want to move etc xx
Try italki. You have to pay but you can find some really good teachers on there.
They also have community tutors who are natives but not professional teachers. They're cheaper and are just for conversation practice.
I've used the site a lot and find it useful.
Wee rant incoming from me.. (I apologise for any swearing!!)
Fed up of my job taking the piss. I understand due to the current circumstances that shifts may need to be changed at short notice etc but my employer are taking the mickey now. Received a text about thirty minutes ago (not even a bloody phone call) telling me that I'm not needed for tomorrow and I should take it as holiday instead. Well, I don't want to use my holiday allowance just because they don't bloody need me. I refused and they got a bit arsey. It's the fact it's so last minute too, if they had actually called me earlier in the day and explained I probably wouldn't be writing this. It feels as if they don't respect my time at all??
I'm annoyed at being treated like crap by them. They did these sorts of things before COVID so it's not something new but I volunteered to come back from furlough early to help open up again, volunteered always in the past to take up extra shifts and it's like they don't appreciate it at all. I feel like I pick up a lot of the slack and don't even receive a 'thank you'.
It's a shame because I like who I work with but the management aren't exactly good and that causes problems. I've been thinking of leaving but I don't know if this is the best time, what with the economy and everything.
I've been told to keep my head down, wait for the economy to pick up and then leave but it's hard.
Thank you for reading, if you got this far it's been really therapeutic to actually write this. I also want to say I understand how lucky I am to have a job right now, but these problems have been happening for months now and it's starting to become really frustrating.
Fed up of my job taking the piss. I understand due to the current circumstances that shifts may need to be changed at short notice etc but my employer are taking the mickey now. Received a text about thirty minutes ago (not even a bloody phone call) telling me that I'm not needed for tomorrow and I should take it as holiday instead. Well, I don't want to use my holiday allowance just because they don't bloody need me. I refused and they got a bit arsey. It's the fact it's so last minute too, if they had actually called me earlier in the day and explained I probably wouldn't be writing this. It feels as if they don't respect my time at all??
I'm annoyed at being treated like crap by them. They did these sorts of things before COVID so it's not something new but I volunteered to come back from furlough early to help open up again, volunteered always in the past to take up extra shifts and it's like they don't appreciate it at all. I feel like I pick up a lot of the slack and don't even receive a 'thank you'.
It's a shame because I like who I work with but the management aren't exactly good and that causes problems. I've been thinking of leaving but I don't know if this is the best time, what with the economy and everything.
I've been told to keep my head down, wait for the economy to pick up and then leave but it's hard.
Thank you for reading, if you got this far
it's been really therapeutic to actually write this. I also want to say I understand how lucky I am to have a job right now, but these problems have been happening for months now and it's starting to become really frustrating.