SecretSherryDrinker
Member
I have been lurking on this thread for a couple of weeks, and I would like to thank you all for educating me and offering different insights and opinions on this matter.
I am liberal and believe that anyone can be whatever they want to be, as long as they don’t hurt anyone else. It is none of my business as to what anyone else wants to do in their private lives. However, when their private lives spill out into society and how that affects others, especially children, then obviously questions need to be asked.
As a mother with an 11 year old daughter, I am shit-scared how society is treating the transgender issue and how it will affect young children. I have read up on Keira Bell, and found her story so emotional, poignant and sad. But I worry that kids are not being allowed to grow up. So, I would just like to share my experience
I had pretty crap parents and an older sister (we did not get on). My parent’s idea of parenting was that if there was a roof over your head, food in your belly and clothes on your back, job done. That’s it.
I looked ugly, unkempt and quite dreadful when I was growing up. My parents kept my hair really short (though I wanted it long), clothes were horrible and there was nothing about my appearance was feminine or pretty. I felt terrible about myself and this translated into school, where I was consistently told I was not very bright. Then puberty hit and I hated puberty. Spots, greasy skin and hair, I remember looking in the mirror thinking how ugly I was and that I didn’t want to grow into a woman, because I knew I would be an unattractive woman, and I didn’t want to be rejected.
I went to a single sex school, so no boys around, which suited me fine and I thought would take some pressure off. However, all the other girls were so different to me. They were pretty, slim, clever, confident. And again on a daily basis, I would just feel rubbish, lumpy, awkward, confused unconfident etc. I began to (though no name for it at the time) self-harm as the pain was a release as to how awful I felt. There were couple girls in my year that were stunning. Really pretty, amazing skin, tall, slim and popular and kind. And I just wanted to be like them. I did wonder if I was a lesbian as I was quite obsessed by them for a short period of time (but in their appearance, never sexually) as there were no boys in my life that I fancied. But I did fancy some popstars and actors, so I knew I wasn’t. I just wanted to be pretty and liked, that’s all.
Anyhow, eventually I discovered make-up, grew my hair long, was able to choose my own clothes and things (very) slowly got better. I grew up, my looks improved, was able to take care of myself, met boys and started having relationships. However, prior to that there was a good 6 or 7 years of absolute hell.
I guess my point is, if the internet was around at that time, I may have found other teenagers who felt the same way and whatever label they had given themselves, I may have adopted. And god knows where that path would have sent me. But that would have been wrong. All I needed was time to grow up, mature and take control of my life. Puberty is shit. Some parents are shit. Some home lives or school lives are shit. I understand now that I desperately wanted to escape who I was because it made me so unhappy. But age eventually did that, not pills and mutilating my body. I am now married to a lovely man and we have two happy kids. If you would have told the 13 year old me that one day I would have a husband and kids I would have said “How? With the way I am, behave, look?” Some people just need more time than others.
Sorry for the long ramble.
) when they don't want to. I resent the implication that men can insist that they are lesbians, when they clearly aren't, nor can they ever be. I resent that a rape victim is told to examine her prejudices when she bemoans the fact that a women's rape crisis centre has employed a man. I resent men competing in women's sporting events, and expecting to be lauded for cheating. I resent being told that "women have penises", when we don't. I resent being treated like a fucking pariah when I complain about these things. And I resent women's rights being stamped on by a vocal minority of mentally unwell fetishists, who just want their sexual fantasies to be brought into the mainstream. This has to stop now. The majority of women have huge amounts of empathy for transsexuals and for people with genuine dysphoria. But not at the expense of our rights and freedoms, they're not having those.
