Gender Discussion #18

[klarakluckbag]

A woman in our antenatal clinic today was very keen to let us know that she "doesn't feel like a woman" and that we must use her (self-chosen) middle name, and that we need to change it on our records, and that her pronouns are they/them, and that she is pansexual. We're a little concerned at her first statement, could she be a victim of some trauma or abuse? Does she have any MH history that we may need to know about? We don't really need to know, nor do we care, about the rest. We'll change her name on the records, she is still linked by other details that we hold, including her sex. We're not changing that. She's having a baby, our clinics are for female patients only and her health could be in danger if she doesn't get the correct care, by doctors and midwives who specialise in women's health.

My colleague made me laugh. After the appointment, she flopped down in her chair, breathed a sigh of relief and said "What a load of self-indulgent, navel-gazing bollocks."

 

[GladiatorReady]

Just seen this - I think it sums it up perfectly

 

[Clover123]

Sex work is work/trans women are women... two of the most irritatingly nuanceless statements woke idiots can make to virtue signal without making a single good argument about why they think that's true.

It's an extremely lazy form of activism!

 

[klarakluckbag]

Victim support clearly on the side of women, not. Are they saying that transwidows (women whose husbands say they are trans) are abusive then?

You know what is abusive? Middle-aged straight women who are suddenly expected to identify as a lesbian, because their male spouse has decided that he wants to wear a dress and call himself Susan in front of their family and friends.

 

[katyazamo]

Heh I could talk about sex work all day. It's funny because most women who hark on about "sex work is work", either 1. only participate in the more palatable types of SW - so phone chat, webcams, OnlyFans, videos - anything that doesn't involve contact with punters, or 2. have no experience in SW.

It is so very easy to get caught up in the lighter stuff, because yeah, you can make good money from it AND you don't feel like you're involved in prostitution. I always thought it was great because if men were willing to hand over their money for a few underwear selfies then whatever, more fool them, it wasn't exactly back breaking work.

Escorting is when it all took a turn. Like I say, I really thought I was in the driving seat because it was the first time men have ever handed over money so easily (have you ever asked for a promotion at work? That shit is not easy...lol) but none of it is fulfilling or meaningful. And most jobs actually aren't, but hell I'd rather be bored rigid doing data entry than have sex with people again. For sure. I saw some people replying to that Diane Abbott tweet saying how some SWs enjoy sex - trust me, I did not enjoy having sex with 95% of the punters. And let me say I wasn't forced into it, but I just felt absolutely nothing for the guys. It is absolutely bizarre to suggest that it's an enjoyable experience for the woman. The guy is there to get his rocks off. Nothing more. Simply incorrect to think that the woman gets anything out of it. You MIGHT come across the odd guy who does want to involve you but honestly? Not a thing.

The handmaidens will willingly turn a blind eye to the trafficking and forced prostitution because that doesn't fit the narrative. I think a lot of women are unwilling to come to terms with how horrible some men can be, which is why they tell themselves that SW is fun and empowering, they don't want to see men as beasts. I've seen too much shit, and none of it adds up to female empowerment. 99% of men who engage with sex workers do not see them as equals. Sites like UK Punting say it all. They just want to buy women by the hour.

 

[HockyRorror]

Poor Jazz, it'll take a lifetime of therapy (away from the family) to untangle that dysfunctional, toxic unit.

Jazz is an example of what puberty blockers for children actually means. Never had an orgasm, not able to ever experience an orgasm, botched surgery because the PBs rendered the penis too small to work with, and the mother - on national TV for the world to watch - threatening Jazz that Jazz must dilate the wound in between the legs or she will do it herself. No wonder Jazz is overreating and keeps a crock pot in bed - Jazz is sexless, unhappy, overweight with a typical male gut and depressed, Sorry if that’s harsh but it’s true and needs to be said, not celebrated.

 

[2020two]

So I finally met a self proclaimed non-binary in the wild. I was at a work get-together, 25 men to only 2 of us women... And a new woman I haven't met before came in. My colleague introduced us and said "this is where the women are hiding!", she followed that up with "oh I'm not a woman, I identify as non binary I just like surrounding myself with femme presenting people like you guys!" Me and my colleague just said "right", you could tell she was hoping we'd indulge a conversation about it! I had to leave early due to endo pain.....isn't it so annoying being femme presenting

 

[CookieZippy]

Couldn't agree more

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

I'm sorry, but it should be illegal to 'self-identify' as anything. You are either male or female, or, in a tiny minority, born intersex. Fine, if you want to fully transition to become a different gender, gender dysmorphia is very real (but a lot rarer than is alluded to), but being a woman is not just putting on lipstick, a padded bra and a dress. We need to protect WOMEN, not cervix havers or uterus bearers, actual WOMEN who are born with vaginas and have to undergo everything that being a woman entails, including the very real threat of rape, murder and abuse by MEN on a daily basis. Society needs to grow the fuck up and stop pandering to a bunch of fetishists who are so desperately unhappy in life they have to place themselves as the centre of everything.

 

[Satisfying Click]

Out of the three men, one appears to have deleted their Twitter account, the others have protected their accounts (were they public before?) and made their IG accounts private.

Try to doxx and intimidate a woman, then go hiding themselves. Fucking cowards.

 

[Ispyabudgetbeanblogger]

Grrrr, just booked a day yoga retreat at my usual yoga studio. It's a female-centred day all linked to the 'womb-engery' (don't judge me, I need yoga for my mental health and I love it!). Anyway, at the end of the blurb it says it's an inclusive event and anyone can join, also women who no longer have a womb, non-binary people and transwomen. Ok, whatever, I don't really care, because I know the studio and there isn't a single transwoman there, plus I personally wouldn't care if a 'proper' transwoman joined in either, though I get that some people would not feel the same way.

But, just below is a link to a day retreat for MEN (all caps). Led by two male teachers. No mention of it being inclusive or transmen and non-binary people being welcome. It's the double standards that piss me off.

 

[Aquamarina]

Just listening to the pre-recorded conversation with Nancy Kelley (Stonewall CEO) on Woman’s Hour.
Nancy isn’t coming across very well in this, much to my delight. Emma is absolutely wiping the floor with her! She’s got her to admit that you cannot change your sex and that people can and do have preferences for who they decide to have sex with.
Now she’s quizzing Kelley about JK Rowling and asking her to pinpoint exactly what JK said that is ‘harmful.’ Kelley clearly cannot and is desperately trying not to slander Rowling as she knows she will sue the arse off of her! Emma is asking her to define ‘transphobia’ and she can’t. Emma is going in hard now referencing Dr Kathleen Stock and Kelley is pretending to ‘not know much about the case.’ It’s clear which side Emma Barnett is on and it’s bloody brilliant to hear it.

 

[judgejohndeed]

I feel like at this stage I am so very very aware of trans people existing that the only way I could be MORE aware is if I became one myself

 

[judgejohndeed]

The others should take note

 

[GladiatorReady]

Fuck this world.

 

[Django]

Luckily most of the world isn't on Twitter, but could I ask the TRAs to stop misgendering me?
I'm not a cis woman or a person with a cervix or uterus, I am a woman who has spent fucking years of her life trying to get my fibroids diagnosed whilst I was trying to hold down a high flying, well paid job but who couldn't get down the stairs some mornings without bleeding through my tampon and pad. I was repeatedly told by my GP that it was all normal. Can you imagine any man putting up with this shit?

 

[judgejohndeed]

Actually cis people cannot get ‘gender affirming’ healthcare. Women with excess facial hair can’t get free laser treatment, women with small breasts who would feel more ‘womanly’ with larger ones can’t get free breast augmentation. In fact we are actively told stuff like ‘women come in all shapes and sizes’ to try and deal with what we are naturally given, and of course women with more hair than others and small breasts etc are still women. But a woman who would feel like she could present ‘more’ by having these treatments doesn’t get them for free?

 

[GladiatorReady]

We believe what she says is awful and she is such a bigot and we disagree with everything she says and we want nothing to do with her ever again! What's that? Would we like some money? Ooh yes please!



Also - how deluded can you get?

 

[weeweegie]

Just read someone say that Kelly did ok as an ally in her 60s as she will have lived through six decades of heteronormative propaganda. Fucking hell.

6 decades of being a women which involves a whole lot of pain for most of it that no man would ever understand, discrimination, sexism, misogyny. Yeah, despite all that, she did ok as a trans ally

Where is the fucking respect for women?

I think of my mum at 70 odd and how her life has been spent putting up and shutting up. Hard upbringing where her brothers got away with things she would never have, married young and dedicated to her children, sacrificing her career prospects to always be the carer, now a doting grandmother doing the same. Many gynaecological problems through the years including early menopause. She never stops caring for others, as is her role in society from her point of view. We owe so much to the women that went before us and all they had to put up with. But the younger generation all woked up to the max just write women like her off. Dinosaurs. Unless they are shouting trans women are women from the rooftops they are nothing. Their lives and experiences mean nothing?

Sorry for the rant. I was triggered by the Lorraine chat She is saving her own bacon by saying what she’s being told what to say. I doubt she really believes it. Same with Janey Godey who says she’s a trans ally. No way that’s actually true.

 

[bcfc999]

Oh my god so I've never posted here but I came to post and now I see you're talking about exactly what is bothering me!
I feel like "gender" has become this costume that people think they can take on and off, just decide you're a woman and bam that's it. Just throw in some stereotypical gender role behaviours and voila, you're a woman now! That's the thing that pisses me off about drag, I don't appreciate men being able to profit off gender stereotypes and then throw them away and go back to their privileged male lives.
I feel like we were getting to a place where gender stereotypes and roles were acknowledged as bullshit, and now we've been pulled right back to a place where people feel they can just pick and choose based on which prescribed gender role "feels right".
Dont even know if I'm making sense tbh.