Funerals

[Lhm87]

That’s really interesting, thank you for sharing! I didn’t really know it was something that people actually do, it’s eye opening! I guess you don’t feel like you’ve missed out on anything/saying goodbye because you’ve not experienced it any other way?

I really hate funerals. I know that no one ‘loves’ them but just the thought of one (even when no one I know has died) makes me feel really anxious. If I could avoid going to one I probably would.

I definitely don’t feel like I’m missing out by not having a funeral for loved ones, as we all have the same view. I don’t really feel like you can say goodbye to someone who is already gone, but I do understand why people do have funerals/services. It’s just the ‘done’ thing so I’m definitely the odd one out!
To be honest I don’t know of anyone else outside of my family who doesn’t have funerals. My friends things we’re bizarre! I suspect even those who donate to medical science, have a service/get together of some kind but not us. My family grieves, we just do it alone and privately.

 

[daisydolittle]

I've tried to,but I've lost my paperwork and the council were no help so that plot will remain unused.


There's only me and my oh, so noone would miss us if we went, my oh wants his ashes put in a firework!!

Bloody councils. I’d keep on at them, it may sound insensitive but burial plots are like gold dust, a lot of undertakers buy them to sell on x

 

[ClockworkDolly]

My Dad bought a plot when Mum died. He specifically told me it was just for them, that I was not going in there too. I hadn't even thought about it. Then my brother died suddenly and a plot behind them was available. The chap previously buried there had wanted to be placed in another cemetery but there wasn't a space for him, but somehow once he'd been buried one was found so his wife had him moved. I managed to get my brother in that plot so he is back to back with his parents. Unfortunately I cannot put a headstone on as his ex won't allow it even thought I said I'd pay for it and she can choose the wording. She has the deeds to the plot. It was a long time ago and I've given up trying.

We have the same issue in our family. My brothers widow won’t allow him to have a headstone. She passes the buck onto their children, saying it is for them to decide.

Funnily enough, it didn’t take her too long to decide to become involved with another man a year after his death.

 

[Oohthedrama]

I’d probably burn if I set foot in a church at this point so there’s that sorted.

light me up and chuck the ashes into a ditch somewhere
It’s taking fly tipping to the next level

 

[Calmyourtitsdown]

My Nana was very clear that she wanted to be cremated. I will always remember her saying ‘I want to go up in flames!’ Because she didn’t want ‘the worms to get me’! She was also very clear about what music she wanted at her funeral, and when it should be played. But she never left any instructions as what she wanted done with her ashes...
We ended up getting a plot at the crematorium, for both her and eventually my Grandpa. They were both put in urns, and the urns buried in the plot... so she’s kinda near the worms.. sorry Nana!
I think now, I would like to be cremated and my ashes spread. Somewhere beautiful, I imagine at a beach somewhere.
I definitely think I will be like my Nana, and have a list of songs I wanted played. I don’t want any old music played!

 

[Maid22]

I know, what a depressing thread, but we'm all heading that way, what do you want, burial or cremation?
I brought a plot next to my brother who died in 1992, cos I didn't want him to be alone, but now I want to be creamated.

 

[derbyshiregirl]

I want to be buried.
I know people say if they are buried alive accidentally they’d suffocate and it would be awful, but surely that’s better and less painful than being burned alive? Hate the thought of being reduced to ash and just becoming nothing xx

 

[FlabbyWoofWoof]

I said to my husband that I don’t want a funeral, I just want him and our son to take my ashes to the beach, and play some of my favourite songs while watching the waves roll in for a while. That’ll do me. I’m not sure what I’d want them to do with my ashes. I don’t want to be stuck in a grim crematorium. I think I’d like them to hang on to them in an urn until my husband goes and then we can be scattered somewhere beautiful together. I don’t want to be apart from him.

 

[Lhm87]

My family don’t have funerals. We’ll all donate our Bodies to medical science if we can, if not, it will be a direct cremation. A direct cremation is where the funeral director takes the body from home or the hospital, gets it cremated in private without a service they then return the ashes to the family.

 

[Maid22]

Bloody councils. I’d keep on at them, it may sound insensitive but burial plots are like gold dust, a lot of undertakers buy them to sell on x

Oh I'd sell it in a heartbeat if I could, not worried about the money, just want rid.

 

[daisydolittle]

Oh I'd sell it in a heartbeat if I could, not worried about the money, just want rid.

I’ll have it

 

[Gembo]

I want to be buried, I hate the thought of cremation, I didn’t know it was a thing until my Nan died and my mum told me she was being cremated, I remember being horrified and it’s always kind of stayed with me

 

[Carmen 6]

I really love the woodland burial option.
It's like continuing as a tree.

 

[FakeSmile]

Of course, it’s not intrusive at all. We’re not religious at all, If anything quite the opposite! We just feel funerals/services are unnecessary. My personal views are they’re unnecessarily expensive and a day people dread, so why do it. The stress on a family after a death is hard enough, never mind arranging a funeral and trying to find the money to pay for it. Also if there are any family tensions etc, this could make family members anxious at an already difficult time.
I’m also a very big advocate for medical science so If my body can be used in any way to advance the field, be my guest! I don’t believe in burning/burying a body that can help someone else.
I’m 33 and never attended a funeral/service of any kind. My Nan passed a few years ago and unfortunately couldn’t be used for science so we just had a direct cremation.

That’s really interesting, thank you for sharing! I didn’t really know it was something that people actually do, it’s eye opening! I guess you don’t feel like you’ve missed out on anything/saying goodbye because you’ve not experienced it any other way?

I really hate funerals. I know that no one ‘loves’ them but just the thought of one (even when no one I know has died) makes me feel really anxious. If I could avoid going to one I probably would.

 

[Hinchhater1442]

I want to be cremated and put in a firework!

 

[ClockworkDolly]

I've tried to,but I've lost my paperwork and the council were no help so that plot will remain unused.


There's only me and my oh, so noone would miss us if we went, my oh wants his ashes put in a firework!!

Now, that would make being cremated worthwhile!

 

[Maid22]

I want to be buried.
I know people say if they are buried alive accidentally they’d suffocate and it would be awful, but surely that’s better and less painful than being burned alive? Hate the thought of being reduced to ash and just becoming nothing xx

I think I would rather be burned alive, would be alot quicker than laying in a coffin grasping for breath.

 

[Maid22]

My family don’t have funerals. We’ll all donate our Bodies to medical science if we can, if not, it will be a direct cremation. A direct cremation is where the funeral director takes the body from home or the hospital, gets it cremated in private without a service they then return the ashes to the family.

I've never heard of that, may I ask what what religion you are?

 

[openbook1]

Hmmm. Definitely cremated over being buried. And it would be a humanist funeral, I am a complete atheist, lol. People would wear bright colours and there would be my favourite songs playing. Being sent off in a firework sounds nice. Would also like to be scattered back home in the UK, where I live now, and a little bit in San Diego (my fav place in the world).
My grandad got buried, his family had bought plots of land. Well, no one visits his grave apart from my uncle and his sisters occasionally. My gran won't... I am not sure why denial perhaps? And my mum doesn't as she wants to "remember him alive." It breaks my heart to think of tbh. I don't live in the UK but always make a point of visiting it when I am home.

 

[265]

I want to be cremated.I don’t think anyone has been buried in my family for Donkeys years. My grandparents were cremated and they still have headstones we can visit.

Isn’t there a James Bond film where he gets locked in a coffin and put into a cremator? Obviously he escapes, but for some reason I just thought of that?

One of the films I saw recently, at the beginning of the film he gets his own funeral, the coffin gets dumped overboard, ends up in a Submarine.