Funerals

[Lhm87]

I've never heard of that, may I ask what what religion you are?

I don’t want to be intrusive I just find it really interesting, is there a reason why you’d do it that way? Religion?

Of course, it’s not intrusive at all. We’re not religious at all, If anything quite the opposite! We just feel funerals/services are unnecessary. My personal views are they’re unnecessarily expensive and a day people dread, so why do it. The stress on a family after a death is hard enough, never mind arranging a funeral and trying to find the money to pay for it. Also if there are any family tensions etc, this could make family members anxious at an already difficult time.
I’m also a very big advocate for medical science so If my body can be used in any way to advance the field, be my guest! I don’t believe in burning/burying a body that can help someone else.
I’m 33 and never attended a funeral/service of any kind. My Nan passed a few years ago and unfortunately couldn’t be used for science so we just had a direct cremation.

 

[Jusa]

I've tried to,but I've lost my paperwork and the council were no help so that plot will remain unused.


There's only me and my oh, so noone would miss us if we went, my oh wants his ashes put in a firework!!

I'm going to be a firework as well!

I had an ex partner that I was with for about 9 years who knew I wanted my ashes put into fireworks. He died 3 years after we split up, but we'd remained friends, and I also remained close to his mum. Anyway, he was cremated, and his brother told me that he wanted his ashes put into fireworks, and how like him it was to want to do this! I asked his brother how much it was to do it, and what company they were using, and his brother was like, you're taking a big interest in this!

I then told him that it had always been me that wanted to be a firework, and that he'd never mentioned it. What amused me was that in life we'd worked together a !ot, and he always used to nick my ideas, and present them as his own without crediting me for them, and then he continued it after death

 

[ClockworkDolly]

I know, what a depressing thread, but we'm all heading that way, what do you want, burial or cremation?
I brought a plot next to my brother who died in 1992, cos I didn't want him to be alone, but now I want to be creamated.

Burial for me.

I cannot bear the thought of being reduced to ash so quickly, as though I never existed.

I want to be up near my parents and other family members.

 

[ChloChlo]

I'm not entirely sure. My mind always changes. However I think ultimately the choice will always lay with the family regardless as my mum told me on her deathbed she wanted beastie boys played at her funeral. Her family, despite admitting she had also shared this wish to, didnt think it was a good choice so played all the songs that had a few lines of sad lyric about death in a song as opposed to anything she liked, which goes to show no matter what you want. The living are gonna decide!

If it wasnt for the family circus surrounding it my mum had a beautiful funeral. She had an eco burial, our family didnt like the thought of a traditional graveyard (especially the ones in her locality) nor were keen on the idea of cremation. So we decided on one of the burial Woodlands.

She had a wicker casket. Lots of natural flower arrangements but a opted for a traditional send off. She has a wooden carving as a headstone. It is a beautiful place that gets a carpet of bluebells in the spring. Lots of wildlife.

 

[Maid22]

Sell the plot, they actually go up in value believe it or not x

I've tried to,but I've lost my paperwork and the council were no help so that plot will remain unused.

Burial for me.

I cannot bear the thought of being reduced to ash so quickly, as though I never existed.

I want to be up near my parents and other family members.

There's only me and my oh, so noone would miss us if we went, my oh wants his ashes put in a firework!!

 

[DCICassieStuart]

If anyone is interested in watching a cremation, there's a video here:



WARNING: You DO see the body in the cremator and the remains getting ready to be be put through the pulveriser (this is what they call it)
It's not gory or squeamish, but obviously it's not something that everyone will want to watch, so I'm posting a warning for obvious reasons.

 

[Keikochan]

My husband and I decided we should be cremated and our ashes turned into seeds for a tree. Our ashes are to be mixed together so whoever goes first just needs to wait for the other
I'm not sure if we can pick which type of tree. Cherry Blossom would be nice.

 

[FlipFlop0706]

Cremated. Mainly for practicality really!! I’d hate someone to have to keep coming to tidy up my grave, I can’t bear graves that look like they have been forgotten about.

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

I'm terrified of being buried alive (although highly unlikely) so I'd like to be burnt to a crisp and my ashes scattered in our local park.

 

[Definitelyme]

I’ve been talking about it this with my husband this week after an unexpected death in the family and a lot of confusion about what to do.

I want cremated and scattered in one of my favourite local places. Some nice pieces of classical music and more upbeat hymns at my (church) funeral. People can wear whatever they like. My biggest stipulation was to have no sausages or sausage rolls at the wake as I despise them and will not have them blighting the last moments people are dedicating to me

 

[SamBamford]

My Dad bought a plot when Mum died. He specifically told me it was just for them, that I was not going in there too. I hadn't even thought about it. Then my brother died suddenly and a plot behind them was available. The chap previously buried there had wanted to be placed in another cemetery but there wasn't a space for him, but somehow once he'd been buried one was found so his wife had him moved. I managed to get my brother in that plot so he is back to back with his parents. Unfortunately I cannot put a headstone on as his ex won't allow it even thought I said I'd pay for it and she can choose the wording. She has the deeds to the plot. It was a long time ago and I've given up trying.

 

[Allthevest20]

I've set out what I want to happen with me including music (May change over the years haha) but my Mum point blank refused to talk about her funeral (terminal diagnosis) but I did tell her i would cremate her and turn her into jewellery which she said was a nice thing.... So I did! I just did what I thought she would have wanted and everyone said her funeral was "lovely". I'd want the same humanist service. No black. And something uplifting music wise at the end (had Bob Marley for hers which made alot of people smile.... not the grandparents mind but she would've laughed too). I've scattered some ashes in meaningful places and some are buried. I want to go into the rest and then be buried together in the memorial garden where her plaque etc are. With the cats too

 

[Platypusfattypus]

I can't stand the idea of cremation but I don't want to be stuck in a traditional graveyard that my children feel they have to visit. So instead I want a willow coffin and to be buried in a woodland

 

[daisydolittle]

I know, what a depressing thread, but we'm all heading that way, what do you want, burial or cremation?
I brought a plot next to my brother who died in 1992, cos I didn't want him to be alone, but now I want to be creamated.

Sell the plot, they actually go up in value believe it or not x

 

[ClockworkDolly]

I can't stand the idea of cremation but I don't want to be stuck in a traditional graveyard that my children feel they have to visit. So instead I want a willow coffin and to be buried in a woodland

I have always liked this idea too. But, I do want to be near my parents and it is on the edge of woodland, so I would get the next best thing.

My husband and I decided we should be cremated and our ashes turned into seeds for a tree. Our ashes are to be mixed together so whoever goes first just needs to wait for the other
I'm not sure if we can pick which type of tree. Cherry Blossom would be nice.

You can choose what type of tree if you make a Will.

I was tentative but I watched it. I know we got the right ashes back as when I was sorting them for scattering there was a gold crown (tooth lol) sitting on the top and that made me a bit wiggly tbh! I know our local crematorium does these tours (well not at the moment of course) but not sure I'd look through the peep hole! Lol

Gosh. Even though I was unsure if I would watch this the whole way through, it was very interesting to see actually.

It won’t change my mind about my own arrangements though.

 

[Allthevest20]

If anyone is interested in watching a cremation, there's a video here:



WARNING: You DO see the body in the cremator and the remains getting ready to be be put through the pulveriser (this is what they call it)
It's not gory or squeamish, but obviously it's not something that everyone will want to watch, so I'm posting a warning for obvious reasons.

I was tentative but I watched it. I know we got the right ashes back as when I was sorting them for scattering there was a gold crown (tooth lol) sitting on the top and that made me a bit wiggly tbh! I know our local crematorium does these tours (well not at the moment of course) but not sure I'd look through the peep hole! Lol

 

[Dragon100]

There's only me and my oh, so noone would miss us if we went, my oh wants his ashes put in a firework!!

My Dad scattered 1/2 of my Mum's ashes on the beach by the campsite they used for caravan holidays for at least 25 years, the rest went up the chimney of a steam train!!

 

[GiftedNotFree]

Having lost someone recently who was cremated I hate not having somewhere to go, to be with them. To sit talk think etc. I want to be buried. I like the thought of eventually returning to and becoming the earth. Full circle. And I’d like my family to have somewhere they can come and be with me. I suspect we have more cremations as burials are so expensive? I found my loved one being cremated very upsetting. However my step mum buried her mum and said it was the most awful thing watching her be lowered into the ground. Suppose there’s no completely nice way to go is there.

It is really hard watching a coffin go into the ground. It felt like a sense of doom to me. It felt like they were so close yet so far. Also feels like you need to go there to be close to them rather than them just being everywhere. To me, anyway. I think death is so personal; everyone has different feelings about it.

 

[Mrspowell]

It is really hard watching a coffin go into the ground. It felt like a sense of doom to me. It felt like they were so close yet so far. Also feels like you need to go there to be close to them rather than them just being everywhere. To me, anyway. I think death is so personal; everyone has different feelings about it.

Actually totally see this point too. Having watched that video of cremation above it’s actually made me think it’s not so bad after all. Maybe I’ll just leave my body to medical science so I don’t have to think about it!

 

[Mrspowell]

Having lost someone recently who was cremated I hate not having somewhere to go, to be with them. To sit talk think etc. I want to be buried. I like the thought of eventually returning to and becoming the earth. Full circle. And I’d like my family to have somewhere they can come and be with me. I suspect we have more cremations as burials are so expensive? I found my loved one being cremated very upsetting. However my step mum buried her mum and said it was the most awful thing watching her be lowered into the ground. Suppose there’s no completely nice way to go is there.