Hi guys just looking for some advice. I recently found out that one of my close friends is dating my ex. We split around 4.5 years ago after a very toxic relationship, she is very aware of everything he put me through. She has recently come out of a long term relationship and I supported her throughout her break up. I had my suspicions about her dating my ex and she started posting memes on facebook about me so I asked her directly and she explained it was about someone she was dating. I asked who and she would not tell me. Over the passed few weeks she has stopped messaging, calling and liking anything I post on facebook where as we would speak everyday. When I had confirmation that she was dating my ex I messaged her saying that I was glad she put a male before our friendship and felt it was ok to betray me. She completely denied it and said she had no clue what I was on about but then did admit it and said well we are happy so that's all that matters, she then switched her Snapchat location on so I could see she was at his house. I did then fly off the handle at her and later blocked them both on social media. I really dont care that they are together but I am hurt that she could betray me like that then completely deny it when I've supported her after her split and offered to help with money etc. Apparently I am jealous and bitter but im not. Im engaged, own a home and have a beautiful baby I just can't understand why a friend would do this especially after knowing how awful he was to me.. Advice please, have I over reacted?
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You are hurt. You feel betrayed. You are allowed to feel those things. It sucks. I can imagine from what you have written that your ex hurt you too. Ideally there would be some loyalty from your friend. i am wondering what other things are coming up for you? Are there any issues around self worth and esteem? Or just pure anger at your friend. Sorry she has been so crappy towards you. I had a friend sleep with a boyfriend of mine once. I still think she’s a witch 
You've not overreacted in being annoyed. She could have at least told you she was interested. It doesn't really matter that you've moved on and it was years ago, it was still your ex and she didn't mention it. It's even more of a betrayal really cause she never said anything about it which makes you think when was she planning to tell you? Or was she just going to let the friendship go? Her reaction saying that it doesn't matter cause they're happy is rude and screams "I've been backed into a corner where I am in the wrong so I'm going to act like you are dramatic one who's out of order".
With respect, she doesn't care about your friendship obviously. I would say block the both of them.
With respect, she doesn't care about your friendship obviously. I would say block the both of them.
No issues around self esteem or self worth on my part! I just know he will be filling her head with rubbish about how awful I am as a person etc. He is very manipulative and was abusive, physically and mentally. For example he tried to throw himself infront of a train and tortured me phoning me whilst on the train track then would switch phone off etc. He is nearly 30, still lives with parents, has no money, parks at carparks in his crappy cars etc he will never grow up. Im just sad she knows what he is like and is willingly going to put herself through all of that.You are hurt. You feel betrayed. You are allowed to feel those things. It sucks. I can imagine from what you have written that your ex hurt you too. Ideally there would be some loyalty from your friend. i am wondering what other things are coming up for you? Are there any issues around self worth and esteem? Or just pure anger at your friend. Sorry she has been so crappy towards you. I had a friend sleep with a boyfriend of mine once. I still think she’s a witch
No advice to give but I would think that this was weird/be bothered too.
She sounds like an hole and i would honestly just cut her out of your life now and leave her to it. The fact that she’s behaving like this shows you that she’s really not a friend at all. You don’t need the drama. Delete/block and move on with your life without this utter witch!
He’s her problem now. If I were you I’d just get on with my life and leave them to it, see how long it takes for her to realise for herself just how toxic he is.
Glad your worth and esteem has stayed in tact. He sounds like a narcissist.
Leave her to it. She knew all this and went there anyway, it's her problem now. Glad you've found happiness, focus on your life and the friends who don't treat you like tit
Oh absolutely. I just think she should just have been honest and upfront about it, sure I would feel hurt and betrayed but to try lie about and it go to the lengths of hiding her snap location, lying about where she was when I would message etc goes to show there was no intentions of telling me! It's just the principle of it all.Leave her to it. She knew all this and went there anyway, it's her problem now. Glad you've found happiness, focus on your life and the friends who don't treat you like tit
yeah I agree. It's a betrayal anyway but the fact that she didn't even have enough respect to tell you really says everything you need know about how much value she has on your friendship
Absolutely. When i think back she wasn't a great friend in the early days of covid when she would rub it in that she was on furlough whilst I wasn't sure if I was eligible or when she was sending me reports of new dads dying of covid after their new born was born or pregnant woman ill with it etc when I was 6 momths pregnant so not really a great friend at all.
wow she sounds like a delight. Sounds like you're better off without her
She's not your friend, that's all you need to know really.
I remember years ago a really close friend of mine got pregnant to another friends husband. I was so shocked, it showed me that if she was capable of this level of deceit and betrayal then she was capable of absolutely anything. Some people are just very scummy.
I remember years ago a really close friend of mine got pregnant to another friends husband. I was so shocked, it showed me that if she was capable of this level of deceit and betrayal then she was capable of absolutely anything. Some people are just very scummy.
To be honest with you even if she had handled it better (and I totally agree she could/should have) I imagine their relationship would’ve been the end of your friendship anyway. I’ve never heard of anyone stay friends when they start dating a friend’s ex, especially the really horrible ones. He would be telling her all sorts about you whether it’s true or not, probably making comments every time she mentioned you or said she was meeting you, etc. Frankly if she wants your horrid sloppy seconds more than your friendship she was never a good friend to you in the first place. Her loss.
Don’t think you’ve overreacted at all I would t be able to get over a close friend getting with my ex (not that any of them would touch him with a barge poll) but the way she went sneaky about it is the worst part. A true friend would have sat you down and been honest about it.
May be they both deserve each other.
May be they both deserve each other.
God she sounds bleeping toxic herself 
Leave them both to it- as others have said he is her problem now. They sound like they’ll be a wonderful couple
I understand why you’re hurt but from the sounds of your post you have a lot to be happy about. Sometimes tit things like this need to happen for you to realise who is good to have in your life and who is worth a chop. Delete them both, leave em to it and don’t be there for her when it all comes crashing down! X
Leave them both to it- as others have said he is her problem now. They sound like they’ll be a wonderful couple
I understand why you’re hurt but from the sounds of your post you have a lot to be happy about. Sometimes tit things like this need to happen for you to realise who is good to have in your life and who is worth a chop. Delete them both, leave em to it and don’t be there for her when it all comes crashing down! X
More fool her. Leave them too it, she will see for herself. No doubt at the moment she will think he’s different with her her blah blah.
If I were you I would cut all ties with her. Let’s face it, your friendship is going to be awkward from now on in. She has made up her mind to be with him and she will now be on the receiving end of all the tit he dished out to you.
But, when it goes bits up for her...and you can bet it will...don’t be there for her to pick up the pieces. She is old enough to do that for herself. She made her bed, she can damn well lie in it!
But, when it goes bits up for her...and you can bet it will...don’t be there for her to pick up the pieces. She is old enough to do that for herself. She made her bed, she can damn well lie in it!