Friendship Advice.

[BettyCrocker]

She sounds like an arsehole and i would honestly just cut her out of your life now and leave her to it. The fact that she’s behaving like this shows you that she’s really not a friend at all. You don’t need the drama. Delete/block and move on with your life without this utter bitch!

 

[LittleMy]

He’s her problem now. If I were you I’d just get on with my life and leave them to it, see how long it takes for her to realise for herself just how toxic he is.

 

[Latala]

He’s her problem now poor cow!
Block them both on everything you can & keep moving forward with your life, you deserve peace & letting them live rent free in your head is too costly x

 

[ClockworkDolly]

If I were you I would cut all ties with her. Let’s face it, your friendship is going to be awkward from now on in. She has made up her mind to be with him and she will now be on the receiving end of all the shit he dished out to you.

But, when it goes tits up for her...and you can bet it will...don’t be there for her to pick up the pieces. She is old enough to do that for herself. She made her bed, she can damn well lie in it!

 

[birdiefly246]

You've not overreacted in being annoyed. She could have at least told you she was interested. It doesn't really matter that you've moved on and it was years ago, it was still your ex and she didn't mention it. It's even more of a betrayal really cause she never said anything about it which makes you think when was she planning to tell you? Or was she just going to let the friendship go? Her reaction saying that it doesn't matter cause they're happy is rude and screams "I've been backed into a corner where I am in the wrong so I'm going to act like you are dramatic one who's out of order".

With respect, she doesn't care about your friendship obviously. I would say block the both of them.

 

[judgejohndeed]

To be honest with you even if she had handled it better (and I totally agree she could/should have) I imagine their relationship would’ve been the end of your friendship anyway. I’ve never heard of anyone stay friends when they start dating a friend’s ex, especially the really horrible ones. He would be telling her all sorts about you whether it’s true or not, probably making comments every time she mentioned you or said she was meeting you, etc. Frankly if she wants your horrid sloppy seconds more than your friendship she was never a good friend to you in the first place. Her loss.

 

[vanillaswirl]

No advice to give but I would think that this was weird/be bothered too.

 

[Minipeaches]

You are hurt. You feel betrayed. You are allowed to feel those things. It sucks. I can imagine from what you have written that your ex hurt you too. Ideally there would be some loyalty from your friend. i am wondering what other things are coming up for you? Are there any issues around self worth and esteem? Or just pure anger at your friend. Sorry she has been so shitty towards you. I had a friend sleep with a boyfriend of mine once. I still think she’s a bitch

No issues around self esteem or self worth on my part! I just know he will be filling her head with rubbish about how awful I am as a person etc. He is very manipulative and was abusive, physically and mentally. For example he tried to throw himself infront of a train and tortured me phoning me whilst on the train track then would switch phone off etc. He is nearly 30, still lives with parents, has no money, parks at carparks in his shitty cars etc he will never grow up. Im just sad she knows what he is like and is willingly going to put herself through all of that.

 

[Raininvain]

She's not your friend, that's all you need to know really.
I remember years ago a really close friend of mine got pregnant to another friends husband. I was so shocked, it showed me that if she was capable of this level of deceit and betrayal then she was capable of absolutely anything. Some people are just very scummy.

 

[Lisdiz]

You are hurt. You feel betrayed. You are allowed to feel those things. It sucks. I can imagine from what you have written that your ex hurt you too. Ideally there would be some loyalty from your friend. i am wondering what other things are coming up for you? Are there any issues around self worth and esteem? Or just pure anger at your friend. Sorry she has been so shitty towards you. I had a friend sleep with a boyfriend of mine once. I still think she’s a bitch

 

[Babyyoda88]

Don’t think you’ve overreacted at all I would t be able to get over a close friend getting with my ex (not that any of them would touch him with a barge poll) but the way she went sneaky about it is the worst part. A true friend would have sat you down and been honest about it.
May be they both deserve each other.

 

[birdiefly246]

No issues around self esteem or self worth on my part! I just know he will be filling her head with rubbish about how awful I am as a person etc. He is very manipulative and was abusive, physically and mentally. For example he tried to throw himself infront of a train and tortured me phoning me whilst on the train track then would switch phone off etc. He is nearly 30, still lives with parents, has no money, parks at carparks in his shitty cars etc he will never grow up. Im just sad she knows what he is like and is willingly going to put herself through all of that.

Leave her to it. She knew all this and went there anyway, it's her problem now. Glad you've found happiness, focus on your life and the friends who don't treat you like shit

 

[Minipeaches]

yeah I agree. It's a betrayal anyway but the fact that she didn't even have enough respect to tell you really says everything you need know about how much value she has on your friendship

Absolutely. When i think back she wasn't a great friend in the early days of covid when she would rub it in that she was on furlough whilst I wasn't sure if I was eligible or when she was sending me reports of new dads dying of covid after their new born was born or pregnant woman ill with it etc when I was 6 momths pregnant so not really a great friend at all.

 

[birdiefly246]

Absolutely. When i think back she wasn't a great friend in the early days of covid when she would rub it in that she was on furlough whilst I wasn't sure if I was eligible or when she was sending me reports of new dads dying of covid after their new born was born or pregnant woman ill with it etc when I was 6 momths pregnant so not really a great friend at all.

wow she sounds like a delight. Sounds like you're better off without her

 

[Milliehaha123]

God she sounds fucking toxic herself
Leave them both to it- as others have said he is her problem now. They sound like they’ll be a wonderful couple
I understand why you’re hurt but from the sounds of your post you have a lot to be happy about. Sometimes shit things like this need to happen for you to realise who is good to have in your life and who is worth a chop. Delete them both, leave em to it and don’t be there for her when it all comes crashing down! X

 

[Lisdiz]

No issues around self esteem or self worth on my part! I just know he will be filling her head with rubbish about how awful I am as a person etc. He is very manipulative and was abusive, physically and mentally. For example he tried to throw himself infront of a train and tortured me phoning me whilst on the train track then would switch phone off etc. He is nearly 30, still lives with parents, has no money, parks at carparks in his shitty cars etc he will never grow up. Im just sad she knows what he is like and is willingly going to put herself through all of that.

Glad your worth and esteem has stayed in tact. He sounds like a narcissist.

 

[Raininvain]

^ I agree I'd block her now off all social media etc. You sound busy enough and she will come crying back I bet you anything.I wouldnt be listening and I'd tell her to fuck off.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

More fool her. Leave them too it, she will see for herself. No doubt at the moment she will think he’s different with her her blah blah.

 

[Minipeaches]

Leave her to it. She knew all this and went there anyway, it's her problem now. Glad you've found happiness, focus on your life and the friends who don't treat you like shit

Oh absolutely. I just think she should just have been honest and upfront about it, sure I would feel hurt and betrayed but to try lie about and it go to the lengths of hiding her snap location, lying about where she was when I would message etc goes to show there was no intentions of telling me! It's just the principle of it all.

 

[birdiefly246]

Oh absolutely. I just think she should just have been honest and upfront about it, sure I would feel hurt and betrayed but to try lie about and it go to the lengths of hiding her snap location, lying about where she was when I would message etc goes to show there was no intentions of telling me! It's just the principle of it all.

yeah I agree. It's a betrayal anyway but the fact that she didn't even have enough respect to tell you really says everything you need know about how much value she has on your friendship