Friends constantly going on holidays

[Oohthedrama]

comparison is the thief of joy

 

[Mumtum]

Maybe they have eye watering credit card bills

 

[WillowM]

Good friend of mine goes on holidays constantly , we earn similar amount of money yet I can’t afford to go on hols five times a year . Recently found out that she owes bank thousands of pounds . Also everyone has different priorities - I’d rather travel less but have nice day to day life treating myself with meals out , shopping trips etc . Most friends that I know who travel a lot are restricting themselves a lot in order to save for those trips .

 

[Monkeybum]

I am the friend that is accused of always being on holiday but I am single and don't have children so my priorities are very different. I also don't drive and live in a comfortable but not flashy house. Travel is my passion and I happily sacrifice swanky things to afford this.

I also try to shop around to get a deal without breaking the bank and mix this up with the nicer breaks I can't do cheaply. For example I went to Spain for 10 days recently but only paid £150 for my flight and just took hand luggage.

You can't compare your life to anyone else's because everyone's circumstances and priorities are different

 

[Tublet83]

Look at the inghams, their constantly on holidays and the lives are shite

 

[Elsass]

I think we’re those friends but you don’t know what’s behind the scenes. Maybe they got a big inheritance, maybe family pay for some of the trips, maybe they get a big bonus, go at the cheapest time of year, they could be in debt, they might never have takeaways and buy all their clothes in the charity shop. We all have priorities Don’t compare yourself, they probably look at your life and see something they wish they could have

 

[Colin]

I travel a lot. I never got to when I was a kid so I decided to prioritize it in my 30s. I'm married with no kids and one income but we moved abroad to have more chance of seeing the world. We have ended up finding we enjoy the more low key experiences rather than the fancy. So we have slowed down now and take fewer trips. Two of our favourite trips have been a road trip around the Balkans where accommodation was only around £40 a night and we struggled to spend more than £15 a night on dinner and wine. Another was a home stay in rural Romania. Loved it! So less jetting around and more laid back travel.

I don't regret it but also I know that if we'd stayed home we would probably own our own house and have kids now....roads not travelled and all that.

 

[midnightrose]

Does anyone else have friends who are constantly going on holidays? How does it make you feel? I’ve only been away to Italy this year and that was for my birthday whereas some friends have been away 4-5 times. They’re going to exotic places like Africa and India!

I don’t think I’m necessarily jealous because I’ve got no interest in going to these places, and I’m happy for them, but I can’t help but feel rubbish about my life in comparison.

 

[midnightrose]

comparison is the thief of joy

It’s true and I know this but how do you stop?

Request to remove

I’m still impressed you can afford that with 3 kids! We have a 2 bed 2 up 2 down that isn’t even £500 per month... the joys of living in the south east! Don’t have flashy cars either. I work for NHS and he’s the breadwinner. Don’t even know how I’m going to afford children, so it would be nice to at least go on holiday

 

[Downtoearth]

We travel a lot every year, with kids. Like others have said, we have a lot less luxuries than some people seem to (our last takeaway was in 2015!). I don't have a "clothes budget", I might buy 1 or 2 new things for myself every year. We have shoes resoled etc. I cook mainly vegan so lots of lentils and veg. Our weekend trips out tend to be hiking or something, so the only cost is fuel and parking. When we travel, I book everything seperately which has allowed us to have some incredible trips (California Road trip, African safari, Indonesia, lots in Scandinavia) but its all on a shoestring. We always self cater and don't splash out when we are away.

It's definitely possible without going into tons of debt or having enormous salaries. Honestly I think a lot of people would be shocked on how much money they haemorrhage on small, seemingly everyday things.

 

[lipsticktaser]

We struggle to go on holiday because nobody wants to look after our demon dog.

And we don’t want to leave him in kennels incase he’s sad

I have never related to anything more in my life. I’m trying to find a boarder I like for my rescue we got last year. I’m more thorough with this than I was finding a school/childminder for my kid.

 

[Jennyie]

I have 3/4 holidays a year with my husband. Those holidays vary from UK camping breaks with our dogs (don’t have kids) to 3 week exotic breaks which we spend months planning (don’t use a travel agent, go out of season etc)

What we’ve just spent on a 3 week trip in the far eat some people spend on a week AI in Spain.

Exotic, frequent holidays doesn’t always mean extravagant.

 

[lipsticktaser]

We have friends who are in and out of Marbella several times a year. Then they have one or two luxury holidays (5star hotels etc).
We get abroad once a year, then we usually have a week in the uk with the dog. One of us usually gets a few days away with friends. We alternate years. For Christmas this year we have set a £10 limit for each other and we’re going to try get away for a few days instead. I want to go to Belfast as I’ve never been, so not a big expenditure.
I do get jealous. But, we have a nice house, 2 cars, a kid in private school and I don’t work.
I got really caught up in what everyone else at the school gates had, flash cars, multiple holidays, designer clothes.
Then I went to a family event and realised how everyone else really lives. I’m extremely fortunate. Now when the green eyed monster comes, I try think about what I’d have to give up for that.
2 incomes and state school and we’d be away all the time. That being said, I love my dog so much I cry when I leave her. So even if I could, I don’t think I would.
I know, big softy.

 

[lipsticktaser]

Since we've had kids, depending on our financial circumstances at the time, we've had the following holidays: Dubai, private villas in Spain, Centerparcs and cheapy Haven caravan holidays. Guess which one we enjoyed the most and would do again and again? The caravan holidays.

Not really sure what my point is, I guess that enjoyment does not always come with thousands of pounds of expenditure. In fact the worst place I've ever been is Bali which many people would have as their dream destination.

I agree. Spent my holiday this year crying in the sea, so no one would see me. Hated every minute of it. Cottage 1.5 hours from home, happy as Larry.

 

[Calabria]

Just remember that the grass is always greener until you hop over the fence. Everyone has their problems and like someone said above you don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes. Social media has a lot to answer for, showing the highlight reel and often not the reality!

 

[Jm564]

We struggle to go on holiday because nobody wants to look after our demon dog.

And we don’t want to leave him in kennels incase he’s sad

 

[Cocopops91]

Ah mate, have you ever considered going alone? I know plenty of people - some of them very sociable- who regularly take themselves on holiday. In my personal experience it’s much easier to meet people abroad too, even if you’re not usually confident approaching new people (I know I’m not) -somehow those anxieties just don’t have the same grasp on you once you get on a plane. Also if you’re someone ok with roughing it, staying at a hostel is such an easy way to meet cool people. Lots of people in groups are just as keen to socialise - maybe they’ve been travelling with the same people for 6 months and desperately need a new dynamic for a few days.

If none of that appeals you could also try a tour group package? In the Internet age there are probably tour groups for just about every sort of person and every sort or trip. It’s worth shopping around for the ideal tour if you prefer your travels more structured. There are also trips especially for solo travelers, but if you don’t like that idea, it’s perfectly likely there will be people on their own in other sorts of groups too.

So yeah don’t let not having someone to go with stop you. It seems scary before you go, but it’s so much more exciting and liberating than you might think. Plus having a friend there has as plenty of downsides to it! Sorry for such a ramble but i really wanted to share the pleasure of solo travel.... good luck

I’m doing this next week! I’m not the most confident person but I don’t have anyone to go with so I thought sod it and booked a 4 day trip to Kraków. I’m staying in a hotel as I’m not sure a hostel would be the best for me on my first lone trip (I need some comforts to help me relax). I’m kinda nervous and kinda excited but either way, I won’t know if I like it until I do it while i it’s cost me £180 for 3 nights in a 4* hotel and flights from Bristol so not that bad but it could also have been done cheaper if wanted.

 

[midnightrose]

This isn’t a personal attack on anyone who does holiday multiple times per year by the way. I’m more than happy for you, and what you prioritise to spend your disposable income on is completely up to you.

It’s more aimed at people who may not be in a position to do so, and how to handle that. I.e. mixing with friends who are luckier than you... it’s just disheartening when you work so hard and you can’t do those things.

 

[nana]

I'm 27 and have only been on one family holiday in my life, and that was just to go to my cousin's wedding in the UK. I have no idea how people take multiple trips every year.

 

[fluffyduck]

Does anyone else have friends who are constantly going on holidays? How does it make you feel? I’ve only been away to Italy this year and that was for my birthday whereas some friends have been away 4-5 times. They’re going to exotic places like Africa and India!

I don’t think I’m necessarily jealous because I’ve got no interest in going to these places, and I’m happy for them, but I can’t help but feel rubbish about my life in comparison.

I feel like this too. Someone asked me the other day where I was going on holiday next year. I said I was going to Wales for a week. They said, " Oh but thats not a proper holiday, is it? It's only a proper holiday if you go abroad". Made me feel like crap!!