Friends constantly going on holidays

[Calabria]

Does anyone else have friends who are constantly going on holidays? How does it make you feel? I’ve only been away to Italy this year and that was for my birthday whereas some friends have been away 4-5 times. They’re going to exotic places like Africa and India!

I don’t think I’m necessarily jealous because I’ve got no interest in going to these places, and I’m happy for them, but I can’t help but feel rubbish about my life in comparison.

My flashiest friends are ALWAYS on holiday, always long haul, always top class resorts, I have always wondered how they had enough annual leave let alone how they paid for them as even though they both have good jobs, they spend spend spend.

Well of course it’s all on credit cards, they’re still paying off their (totally OTT) wedding five years later and are severely in debt. I wonder how happy they are underneath it all. They’re trying to live the life of people who earn four times what they do.

 

[working9-5]

Thanks @nana i feel for you. Holidays are a luxury. Everyone commenting about how many multiple getaways they go on per year should realise how lucky they are.

I’m one of these people and I do realise how lucky I am. I’m single with no children and do have spare money to save at the moment, which believe me, is not a position I’ve always been in. (I was once in a lot of debt) I also don’t drink, shop in charity shops and love a bargain but travel and seeing new things are my priority and I’m making the most of my circumstances while I’m (not so) young, free and single.
I could compare myself (and sometimes do) to those who are happily married with children in a lovely home but as someone above said, comparison is the thief of joy.

 

[midnightrose]

My flashiest friends are ALWAYS on holiday, always long haul, always top class resorts, I have always wondered how they had enough annual leave let alone how they paid for them as even though they both have good jobs, they spend spend spend.

Well of course it’s all on credit cards, they’re still paying off their (totally OTT) wedding five years later and are severely in debt. I wonder how happy they are underneath it all. They’re trying to live the life of people who earn four times what they do.

Oh no! That’s not good!!! I always wonder why people spend so much on a wedding day. It’s only one day. My OH and I are actually eloping for our wedding next year to the Caribbean! I have always wanted to go so I thought why not combine it with a wedding + honeymoon. It works out cheaper than getting married in the UK too, and will have 10 days worth of blissful memories.

Credit cards are such slippery slopes. I’ll be getting rid of mine in a couple of months.

 

[Horatio]

I wish I did! I want to go away but have no one to go with

Ah mate, have you ever considered going alone? I know plenty of people - some of them very sociable- who regularly take themselves on holiday. In my personal experience it’s much easier to meet people abroad too, even if you’re not usually confident approaching new people (I know I’m not) -somehow those anxieties just don’t have the same grasp on you once you get on a plane. Also if you’re someone ok with roughing it, staying at a hostel is such an easy way to meet cool people. Lots of people in groups are just as keen to socialise - maybe they’ve been travelling with the same people for 6 months and desperately need a new dynamic for a few days.

If none of that appeals you could also try a tour group package? In the Internet age there are probably tour groups for just about every sort of person and every sort or trip. It’s worth shopping around for the ideal tour if you prefer your travels more structured. There are also trips especially for solo travelers, but if you don’t like that idea, it’s perfectly likely there will be people on their own in other sorts of groups too.

So yeah don’t let not having someone to go with stop you. It seems scary before you go, but it’s so much more exciting and liberating than you might think. Plus having a friend there has as plenty of downsides to it! Sorry for such a ramble but i really wanted to share the pleasure of solo travel.... good luck

 

[Colin]

Oh we all do the comparison thing. I do get very envious I guess or at least feel inferior when I see friends babies or house reno things etc.

 

[midnightrose]

I'm 27 and have only been on one family holiday in my life, and that was just to go to my cousin's wedding in the UK. I have no idea how people take multiple trips every year.

Thanks @nana i feel for you. Holidays are a luxury. Everyone commenting about how many multiple getaways they go on per year should realise how lucky they are.

 

[GiggleBee]

I know exactly how you feel. I think sadly these days alot of people know how to play the system and they do it with no remorse

 

[Cocopops91]

I feel the same. I'm in my 20's - often I compare myself to friends who still live with parents and have loads of disposable income to go abroad, buy expensive things, always going shopping.

I have a friend who has invited me on an expensive holiday (long haul, expensive hotel) next year for her 30th and when I explained I wouldn't be able to afford it, she wasn't very happy. She said we could book with a travel agent and pay off monthly but she has only given me 6-7 months notice.

She lives with her parents and doesn't drive/have any real outgoings so all her income is hers to spend. I rent my home (with my partner) and I drive so have all the usual bills (rent, gas/electric, council tax, car insurance, home insurance, petrol) which doesn't leave me with a huge amount left over. I'm planning a holiday with my partner next year so obviously my spare cash is going towards saving for that.

Quite frustrating that she doesn't understand that I have other financial commitments and can't drop everything for her birthday. No doubt I'll still feel rubbish when I'm at home and see her pics of the holiday too.

I’m in a similar position to you but renting alone. Some friends of mine are similar to me and don’t have flashy stuff or holidays etc because bills. But the ones that still live at home are like “I don’t understand why X put her corsa on finance, why didn’t she just buy it outright?” Umm because we all live alone and have rent to pay and don’t have £10,000 sat in an account for a car to get to work in like you do in your parents box room paying zero bills! When I lived with my parents I went on a couple weekends away and usually one week away but it was always budget with hand luggage, the most extravagant was 10 days in NYC which all in cost me £1k.

 

[Prodcon21]

Thanks @nana i feel for you. Holidays are a luxury. Everyone commenting about how many multiple getaways they go on per year should realise how lucky they are.

I’m sure they do realise how lucky they are. Implying otherwise it a bit presumptuous

 

[Wormhole]

I feel like this too. Someone asked me the other day where I was going on holiday next year. I said I was going to Wales for a week. They said, " Oh but thats not a proper holiday, is it? It's only a proper holiday if you go abroad". Made me feel like crap!!

They have clearly never been to Wales!! I gave up one of our abroad trips last year for an extra Wales trip. We did an amazing roadtrip all up in the mountains then loads of beaches in the South. I will happily be choosing Wales again as one of our destinations this year.

We holiday once a year abroad usually, a week somewhere in Europe out of season but always a decent hotel etc.
Thing is, I’d love to do more trips in the UK but by the time you’ve added up the train fare, hotel and spending money it’s so bloody expensive. We’re off to Cheshire for two nights next month and it’s actually gona cost the same as a few days in Spain. Lesson learned !

I have friends who holiday multiple times a year, skiing holidays, 2 weeks, sometimes more away here and there and I’m more jealous of their holiday allowance from work. I get 20 days plus bank hols and have to work it all out carefully!

Uk train fares are so bad ! I really want to take the kids to London but train fares are so bad I can't justify it and the thought of driving to central London and finding hotel ,getting parked gives me the sweats

 

[Casperron]

I wish I did! I want to go away but have no one to go with

 

[Mercedes12]

I feel the same. I'm in my 20's - often I compare myself to friends who still live with parents and have loads of disposable income to go abroad, buy expensive things, always going shopping.

I have a friend who has invited me on an expensive holiday (long haul, expensive hotel) next year for her 30th and when I explained I wouldn't be able to afford it, she wasn't very happy. She said we could book with a travel agent and pay off monthly but she has only given me 6-7 months notice.

She lives with her parents and doesn't drive/have any real outgoings so all her income is hers to spend. I rent my home (with my partner) and I drive so have all the usual bills (rent, gas/electric, council tax, car insurance, home insurance, petrol) which doesn't leave me with a huge amount left over. I'm planning a holiday with my partner next year so obviously my spare cash is going towards saving for that.

Quite frustrating that she doesn't understand that I have other financial commitments and can't drop everything for her birthday. No doubt I'll still feel rubbish when I'm at home and see her pics of the holiday too.

 

[Lynseyp]

To me holidays are a luxury not a necessity. Last year we didn't go on any holidays however this year we have been on 1 and next year having 3 all in this country. I have 3 kids and i find it easier and less hassle to go around this country than it is to go on a plane abroad. We have been abroad to France (via ferry) and as much as it was nice i much prefer staying close to home as 2 of my children don't like aeroplanes and like to have their home comforts - they take after their Dad who wasn't as fortunate to have holidays.
I did take my daughter to Lapland 3 years ago and she loved it but we booked a year in advance and paid monthly installments.
I admit growing up i was well travelled as my parents had a successful business, so we did go abroad and also holiday parks in this country and as much as it was lovely to be able to travel the world for me there's so much of Great Britian we have yet to visit

 

[Horatio]

I guess the general consensus here is that many people who go away a lot are not earning loads more or getting money form their parents, rather they sacrifice other things like savings - certainly the case in my experience.

But expecting others to do the same is unfair. The worst example, one that I see a lot, is weddings in exotic locations. Sometimes the bride and groom don’t even have a family connection to the place. That seems very self centred and and inconsiderate. I’d definitely love to go to a friends wedding on a beach somewhere but it wouldn’t always be possible - and that applies to all guests. Even if the couple are understanding of those who can’t make it, I’d still be sad if I had to miss a good friends wedding when they could have just done it at home.

 

[Cocopops91]

I guess the general consensus here is that many people who go away a lot are not earning loads more or getting money form their parents, rather they sacrifice other things like savings - certainly the case in my experience.

But expecting others to do the same is unfair. The worst example, one that I see a lot, is weddings in exotic locations. Sometimes the bride and groom don’t even have a family connection to the place. That seems very self centred and and inconsiderate. I’d definitely love to go to a friends wedding on a beach somewhere but it wouldn’t always be possible - and that applies to all guests. Even if the couple are understanding of those who can’t make it, I’d still be sad if I had to miss a good friends wedding when they could have just done it at home.

I have to disagree with that, their wedding their choice!

 

[nana]

I'm noticing that the majority of people on this site are from the UK and other parts of Europe. I'm in Canada, and to go pretty much anywhere in Europe/outside of North America is well over $1000, and that's just for the flight! I guess it depends on where you're flying from as well. It's definitely cheaper for me to go to Mexico than it would be for someone else coming from a different country further away.

 

[Lovelylavenderface]

We’ve not done a done a big trip as a couple but we would like to. Just some factors stopping one being my anxiety about it

 

[Ginfluenced]

Since we've had kids, depending on our financial circumstances at the time, we've had the following holidays: Dubai, private villas in Spain, Centerparcs and cheapy Haven caravan holidays. Guess which one we enjoyed the most and would do again and again? The caravan holidays.

Not really sure what my point is, I guess that enjoyment does not always come with thousands of pounds of expenditure. In fact the worst place I've ever been is Bali which many people would have as their dream destination.

 

[midnightrose]

I’m sure they do realise how lucky they are. Implying otherwise it a bit presumptuous

Not always...

 

[SunshineDreamer]

We go on holiday about 4-5 times a year, but we are lucky that my family has a few hotels dotted around the world so a lot of the time we only have to pay flights. We never put anything on credit cards. We (or at least my husband as I’m on maternity leave) work 50-60 hour weeks at times as an A&E consultant so he takes that as a time to decompress.