Emily Canham #32 The hand that rocks the (empty) cradle

[JulesWake]

It's not that deep has become Emily's default, go to, way more cool, effortless version of I'm really a boring person. Ask a question, it's not that deep, notice a contradiction, it's not that deep. Wonder why the story changed three times in one afternoon, somehow, still not that deep.

Her go to reply creates the impression she's living some effortlessly cool, mysterious existence, when the reality is a lot more ordinary & bland than you'd ever fathom. The mystique is doing overtime as is It's not that deep guys.

She's not hiding some fascinating secret life (ok tbf she did a pregnancy reveal, which earns her points & gave her thread a temporary revival). She's protecting her stans from the devastating reveal that her greatest adventure this week was finding a parking space on the first attempt.

The curtain never gets pulled back because the wizard behind it is probably just eating crisps & watching netflix. It's just much less cinematic than the aura she's trying to sell.

What fascinates me most is the commitment. Imagine having to maintain a permanent fog machine around your personality just to avoid saying, honestly, nothing much happened, I'm boring, it's not that deep.

 

[AllTheDramaMick]

Much to all our surprise the apartment hunting is an AD…. 🫠

 

[Goldengirl88]

Much to all our surprise the apartment hunting is an AD…. 🫠

Ahh she's back to cosplaying as an estate agent and walking around apartments (aka flats - you're in England, EmiLIE) like a Sim.

 

[Binx]

Money must be tight in the Canham household.

 

[whatsever you]

Surely she has a tonne of money at the moment. She won’t be paying for the California home (fiancé will be) AND she’s getting rent on her Fulham place? So she’s got no huge outgoings.
I wonder if her fiancée reads her replies to her followers. She sounds like a teenage girl with the ‘it’s not that deep’ isn’t he nearly 50?! What must he think!!

 

[Lechat]

She’s at ascot with Holland Cooper.

 

[JulesWake]

She’s at ascot with Holland Cooper.

View attachment 4026568

Looks dead behind the eyes, doesn't resemble a human, creepy, robotic like, no soul.

 

[Sabbie]

She's like a Lydia wannabe. Double desperate.

 

[ruby1231]

Will canham see desperado emshelx??

 

[Jesuschristo]

Will canham see desperado emshelx??

No chance

 

[ruby1231]

Anyone know if they are still friends?

 

[Binx]

She’s at ascot with Holland Cooper.

View attachment 4026568

y she carrying a briefcase

 

[Binx]

Anyone know if they are still friends?

answer:

No chance

 

[SummerWaldorf]

i think it’s become quite clear that she’s had this dream all her life to marry a wealthy American and live in California, but it’s become quite clear that that’s not actually what makes her happy. She thrived the most whilst living in her house in London, when she could work, go to gifted events, trips, get gifted products (and buy handbags whenever she wanted/get James to buy them for her). Mark doesn’t seem as wealthy as James - or not as materialistic as her. She always looks bored out of her mind in LA and comes out of her shell when she’s back in the UK

 

[nobluefrogs]

There's no way this is a monogamous relationship. Not one mention, not even a name of him publicly and she's showing off getting property in a country he isn't in. True love for sure!

 

[doodlebug]

There's no way this is a monogamous relationship. Not one mention, not even a name of him publicly and she's showing off getting property in a country he isn't in. True love for sure!

I did roll my eyes seeing that she got gifted a luxury apartment. It’s such a joke. That aside, it struck me as such a bizarre choice for a new mum about to get married; to move into an apartment complex with a baby, on a different continent to her husband.

I know she loves being around her family and wants the best of both worlds, and said the weather is tit in California in May and June, but I wonder if there’s something with the husband going on…like signing with management in England seemed quite unnecessary if she’s only going to be here a month or two here and there?

 

[AllTheDramaMick]

I know she’s not sharing the child online but it doesn’t even look like the baby is living there did she just ditch them with her parents? Hahah

 

[Rosie878]

I know she’s not sharing the child online but it doesn’t even look like the baby is living there did she just ditch them with her parents? Hahah

It’s like the dog all over again

 

[nobluefrogs]

If she's aiming for a green card then she will be more likely rejected for pursuing work in the UK, it sends mixed messages. Why on earth would she not want to be with her fiance with their BABY??? I cannot fathom it.

 

[Lechat]

I don’t believe she’s living at this apartment for a second. She’s fastidious with privacy so why would she announce and tag the building she’s allegedly living in now? That’s a massive security risk surely.

I find it absurd she goes to all these lengths to pretend she’s moving in and she’s literally just put a few things in a cupboard