Does anyone else dread going out?

[LittleB]

I’m aware that I sound really boring here

I spent pretty much all of my twenties going out, 3 times a week, partying, girls holidays and weekends away etc.

But since I’ve had my children (both currently under 5) I just can’t be arsed. In fact, I dread it. I hardly ever go out to be fair but I’ve got a night out coming up and my friends have roped me into going to a festival in the summer and I can’t think of anything worse.

Just wondered if I’m the only boring one out here?

 

[LittleMy]

Yep. 33 yo here, two young children. Always been an introvert but I enjoy my own space and have come to embrace it more as I’ve grown older and friendships have drifted/people are busy with their own lives. I don’t often get any time without my sons and even when I do, the last thing I want is to get dolled up and go out drinking. I’d sooner catch up on things that need doing and relax in the comfort of my own home. My children can be so noisy and full on that I really need the moments of peace and quiet to keep me sane (both are on the spectrum).

 

[Milktray]

I just don't like other people's idea of fun.
Hen parties are my worst nightmare. As soon as one is mentioned, I fall into a cold sweat. Immediately, it's money, outfits and having visions of Loudmouth Leanne getting her head kicked in (she's not that bad really, she's a primary school teacher )

I'd much prefer to spend my money on a decent meal with a couple of glasses of good quality wine. It never ends up being that, it's always cheap food and cheap booze and to top that off, fucking Foghorn Leghorn will boom that 'EVERYONE THROW IN £50'

Cue groans. 'But I've only had a water and an onion ring'
Whose idea was that?...oh should've guessed, Boozy Bianca and Greedy Gabby. 'Shes had a 3 course meal and 5 cocktails'

The bride doesn't need to pay...oh and neither does her 80 year old Nan (she's only here for the meal).

I'm not one to excessively doll myself up either. And EVERY time, I go searching for an outfit (which is usually the day before event) the shops decide to turn on me and sell utter shit. I'm left crying in the middle of the mall, 'even fucking Build a Bear has an outfit'.
And New Look might as well be a haberdashery.

It's utter hell. I could just go to the pub with some close friends, but I can guarantee that will turn into a counselling session, telling Teary Tracey that she can leave her job.

No thank you.

 

[Milktray]

I hate it now. I did it all in my youth and I've now retired from party days. Seriously though, Im only in my 40s but I absolutely hate anything social.
Its all too much effort and the negatives of a night out, outweigh the positives.

 

[Bereb45]

I didn’t ever get into going out drinking as such. But when I did go out I’d make such a fool of myself as I was such a lightweight. I’d much rather go out in the day, preferably for food!
I regret never being able to build a friendship circle but i’m happy with my somewhat boring life. This quiet life suits the introverted me to a T. x

 

[Couldlifeeverbesaneagain]

Tbh I don't enjoy is as much I used to. Always feels like other people are getting on my nerves and I can't relax. I like personal space, I like being able to hear my friends speak and I like not feeling like I've wasted money. I'm 31 and feel like I've become a right grumpy bastard. No kids but married and used to love going out out but now I cba and see it as a chore on the days i do go out. Not sure if this is a phase or if I'm just more mature now.

 

[sh1tsandgiggles]

Hi everyone, I think I’ve found “my people”

im 39yo, I used to go out soooooooo much when I was younger, all the London clubs, local clubs, my ex bf‘s dad owned a party restaurant in a large town and so free drinks, food and fun all the way. Fast forward to now, I have a lovely blended home we share 2 kids, (2 teenagers) 1 toddler and I HATE GOING OUT! As others have said above, a nice lunch out is enough for me, I love that.

If I’m honest…. I don’t think lockdown helped much. I think I’ve become a virtual recluse anyone else?

 

[bubbadabut]

Fully paid-up member of the "Antisocial Social Club" here!

I have 4 kids and it's a nightmare getting anyone to look after them. When we do, I just spend the whole time fretting that they are wrecking the other person's house. I love going out shopping on my own though. That's my solace.

 

[Wishwash]

Ah it's my tribe!!! I have two little ones and nah hate going out. I don't know any of the music, and I don't understand the fashion and sometimes my friendships feel a bit forced when out. They're lovely girls but I always get the feeling we would all rather be at home bitching on WhatsApp bar one or two who always want a mad session! So we're all trying to have a "good time"

I think I was losing my mojo before covid anyway but now I just can't summon the effort. My nails are bitten, my hair is grown out, I have blackheads and as for hair removal that's a strong nope

Kids have no mercy when it comes to hangovers too, the few times I have had more than two glasses of wine I've spent the whole next day feeling like a zombie

 

[annanuttall]

Yup, I hate going out - unless it is with my husband. When I was in my late teen (going into my 20s) I went to a club where my friends abanded me completely, they just ran off and never told me, I was in an area I didn't know anything about and essentially was stuck and couldn't get home so I had to call my parents to pick me up at 2-3 am in the morning. That put me right off clubbing and fortunately not long after I met my husband who wasn't into the clubbing scene and prefer staying at home (playing video games).
The thing with going out is not only figuring out how to get home but also drinks are so expensive. I rather spend my money on a dress than booze.
My husband and I would go out early in the evening and be home before 10 pm - we're that boring.
I don't go to any Christmas parties or evening Do's - I prefer to just be at home where I feel safe.

 

[Blonde_moment]

The older I get, the more I enjoy staying in and generally just spending time alone. If I do go out with friends, a nice lunch is enough for me. All day drinking sessions etc are just too much effort and I don’t really enjoy them.

 

[cuncuncuncucncnncncnc]

Lockdown has compounded this for me. I have two under three so I’ve barely been out since 2018. We went out on Friday for the first time in forever, the next morning two of our friends texted to say they’d just had positive lateral flows - so this week has been stressful, we’re doing lateral flows every morning in the hope that we can still host my little boy’s birthday party at the weekend (his first ever party as he’s had lockdown birthdays). I question whether it was worth going out at all!

I feel you! beginning of 2020 I was petrified of leaving my house, then in 2021 when we was allowed and this year I started thinking life is too short and just went out, but then evrytime id meet someone it seemed the next day they let me know they've got covid! which I was pissed off but weirdly enough each time even though I was around them all night or day I never got it off them! the one time I actually got it was when I was actually going nowhere so its very strange but I hope that gives you some hope and eases your mind that you won't get it !

 

[Swanseagal]

I love nothing more than a Saturday night in with a bottle of wine watching cheesy Saturday night telly with my partner. Finish the night off with a takeaway. Bliss.

 

[SophSpinsSillyStories]

Lockdown has compounded this for me. I have two under three so I’ve barely been out since 2018. We went out on Friday for the first time in forever, the next morning two of our friends texted to say they’d just had positive lateral flows - so this week has been stressful, we’re doing lateral flows every morning in the hope that we can still host my little boy’s birthday party at the weekend (his first ever party as he’s had lockdown birthdays). I question whether it was worth going out at all!

 

[MrsFishandChips]

I’m a proper home bird. I have to proper get in the mindset to go out now, compared to pre lockdowns where I couldn’t wait to get out the door. Think it’s a combination of feeling fully content, settling down and also not conforming to doing shit I don’t want to do anymore. I wouldn’t care if I never seen a nightclub again!

 

[MrsBsDayOff]

I dread going out because of two reasons: 1. I'm really not that social a person, I prefer being at home with my partner and maybe one or two good friends rather than being in a big group in a club. 2. Alcohol makes me depressed the next day so i have to be careful not to get trollied if I go out.

 

[WilmaHun]

Yep! I don't drink due to a couple of health issues I have, it's just easier not to. So for me going out is a chore. I dread it. There will always be one knob who tells me "lighten up and have a drink". Drunk people when you're sober are suuuuuuuuper annoying!

I generally am just a bit of a recluse though, I'd much sooner be at home chilling out in my own space, doing what I want, than out feeling awkward and not really enjoying myself. I lack self confidence a little bit so it's not just the process of going "out" that bothers me, I get anxious about the whole build up to it.

 

[DownBelow21]

I'm with you here. I'm a proper homebird. Nothing I love more than being in my house all cosy with my husband and son, in a pair of pyjamas watching the tv... and unfortunately with some chocolate

Have become worse since covid though, had my first baby during lockdown so I spent majority of my pregnancy working from home, maternity leave at home and now I work from home! Can't complain though because I love it.

 

[Clemmy Fandango]

I find that when I occasionally go out and meet with friends it ends up being a reminiscing session that ultimately ends up with "it was so much better in our day". God that makes me feel old, but anyway. In the late 90's and early to mid 2000s I was out a lot and pubs and clubs seemed to be a lot more busier, there was a really good dance music scene and it was the rise of the "super clubs" and Ibiza holidays and stuff. The focus seems to have shifted with the youth of today where they stay at home or a friends house drinking until about midnight when they decide to finally hit the town. It makes most City centres a bit of a ghost town till really late.

Also as people get older those nights out of the past where you used bump into random groups of people you know become few and far between. Still enjoy a rare outing out but it's just not as fun any more!

 

[masterone]

Certified introvert. 3 kids 1 in his teens middle one about hit her teens and a 5 year old. I hate going out. I find myself talking each person into it only when it's totally necessary to venture out of the house, it's so not worth the effort. Love to stay in, lockdowns were great for me as I didn't have to make excuses to avoid going out with family and friends. My biggest peeve is the drama that comes along with days out, end up going with extended family and it's just so exhausting.