Difficult people at work

[Phoenix Lazarus]

I think there are asshats in every office.

Ricky Gervais pretty much nailed it, didn't he?

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

Just CC in the manager, if they’re being rude or not replying to you, escalate the issue with the appropriate person!

For emails I always found escalating it to someone higher up works well to get a fast reply For face to face arseholes remember they’re usually insecure, don’t put up with any tit, just use company policies to get rid of the fuckwits



Walking away helps, also treat them exactly how they treat you, but be nice it drives them mad!

If it’s someone in a superior position, stop making their job easier and show them exactly how much of an hole you can be, when spoken down to

If it’s someone in the same role, do your best to ignore them, treat them like they don’t exist, but also use your company policies to deal with anyone treating you badly!

I’ve tried all sorts! I think because I can be quiet, I become a bit of a target, but then people are surprised when I snap back at them and they generally don’t do it again, but there’s always another one I was bullied my whole life growing up and I have been bullied in work places too, I’d do anything to be in a job where it didn’t happen anymore.

 

[WilmaHun]

I work with somebody very difficult - and his girlfriend! He is a solicitor who runs this office, his girlfriend is the same level as me.

Said person is very set in his ways (which are completely archaic, slow and sometimes, just ridiculous!). I recently visited another office where they trained me on a new system which is so fast, efficient and makes the job so much easier. The person (and his partner) who I work with are not even willing to try and learn to use it. They say "we've been doing it this way for years and not prepared to change now". He also told me to stop doing it the new way I've been shown. I simply pointed out to him that he does not in fact pay my wages, the partner at the other office does, and therefore I will be doing as the partner says. I told him that if he doesn't like how I do things, he should take it up with the partner (I know he won't because that would mean he gets told I am right and he is wrong). His girlfriend also feels the need to echo anything he says, even though she is at the same level as me and has no authority.

I always just come back with "well you're more than welcome to take this up with the people who pay my wages". They just roll their eyes and laugh at me!

 

[whatktdid]

I find this really interesting to read everyone’s experience since wfh became the norm.

I started my current role 4 days before lockdown so I only know the people I work with in this way. I thought there was a higher than usual concentration of assholes but thought it was just the company/client way but maybe it is the keyboard warriors. The client I work with hasn’t had a great time through the pandemic - multiple redundancies and closures so I do try to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I will say I find it a lot easier to detach from mole behaviours and don’t let it get to me as much now as I would have previously when working in an office. I get much less frustrated by them.

In terms of how I deal with them I try to ignore the mole elements of what they say. An old boss of mine gave me the best professional advice about 6 years ago - take the emotion out. If you can take the emotion out of what you do or out of what someone who is being a fool to you is and just stick to the facts it definitely helps and it usually catches them off guard as they normally do it to get a response.

Like a previous poster wrote - if someone doesn’t respond to me - I will chase twice and after that I will flag to my line manager who usually just tells me to chase weekly from there on in and that’s it.

also I always remind myself that there is no point in getting pissed off about them as it won’t make them change but will just frustrate me so it becomes a lose/lose situation for me.

I definitely agree with this. I got a little upset from a rude IM someone on my team at work sent me last week, but the thing is, while the way they messaged me was definitely rude, the content of the message itself was actually quite useful constructive criticism of my means of communicating with him/how we could better work together.

He later apologised for being rude, but I also let him know that while I didn't appreciate his choice of words, I would take into account how we could work better together in the future & the source of his mis-expressed frustration.

 

[Paradisefalls]

good advice, I agree about taking the emotion out of things even though sometimes it’s really hard. I always take things too personally. sometimes when Ive had a crappy email I’ll wait before responding as need the time to cool off and not be tempted to write an angry response back!

oh that’s actually reminded me of something else that helps me - if someone has really annoyed me either in person or via email I will write out what I want to respond to them - usually in the notes on my phone or a draft email and then delete it.

often just writing it out and getting it off my chest is enough. If I am still angry I will keepit in drafts and decide once I’ve slept on it whether it is worth sending/discussing or not. It’s good to get perspective and not be too hot headed and reactive.

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

oh that’s actually reminded me of something else that helps me - if someone has really annoyed me either in person or via email I will write out what I want to respond to them - usually in the notes on my phone or a draft email and then delete it.

often just writing it out and getting it off my chest is enough. If I am still angry I will keepit in drafts and decide once I’ve slept on it whether it is worth sending/discussing or not. It’s good to get perspective and not be too hot headed and reactive.

I do this all the time !!! Write that email.... then delete it. I try not to be upset anymore by the nonsense and disparity and blatant favouritism and almost fraudulent in its execution at my work. I have learnt that even outlining my thoughts sensibly is just ignored. So I save myself the hassle and frustration and get on with doing my job as well as I can and try not to get involved anymore. I’m lucky to be in a position that a lot of the crap doesn’t directly affect me anymore.

 

[Bgr101]

Arseholery is a brilliant word.

I wonder if people are more confident at home and this makes them cocky.

100% correct

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

I work with somebody very difficult - and his girlfriend! He is a solicitor who runs this office, his girlfriend is the same level as me.

Said person is very set in his ways (which are completely archaic, slow and sometimes, just ridiculous!). I recently visited another office where they trained me on a new system which is so fast, efficient and makes the job so much easier. The person (and his partner) who I work with are not even willing to try and learn to use it. They say "we've been doing it this way for years and not prepared to change now". He also told me to stop doing it the new way I've been shown. I simply pointed out to him that he does not in fact pay my wages, the partner at the other office does, and therefore I will be doing as the partner says. I told him that if he doesn't like how I do things, he should take it up with the partner (I know he won't because that would mean he gets told I am right and he is wrong). His girlfriend also feels the need to echo anything he says, even though she is at the same level as me and has no authority.

I always just come back with "well you're more than welcome to take this up with the people who pay my wages". They just roll their eyes and laugh at me!

I can imagine you explaining to him: 'look, forget 70s TV shows. Computers fit on tables nowadays...'

 

[WilmaHun]

I can imagine you explaining to him: 'look, forget 70s TV shows. Computers fit on tables nowadays...'

That's pretty much how it goes. If I have to show someone how to print something one more time I'll lose my tit to be honest

 

[Hendrix]

We use Gmail at work now but back in the days of Outlook, one of my colleagues received a rude email one day and he replied professionally then added 'duck you' at the bottom and changed the font colour to white too brave for my liking

 

[Lechat]

We use Gmail at work now but back in the days of Outlook, one of my colleagues received a rude email one day and he replied professionally then added 'duck you' at the bottom and changed the font colour to white too brave for my liking

Hahaha omg amazing I love it! A hidden duck you when replying to a work hole would give an amazing level of satisfaction!

 

[Keikochan]

oh that’s actually reminded me of something else that helps me - if someone has really annoyed me either in person or via email I will write out what I want to respond to them - usually in the notes on my phone or a draft email and then delete it.

often just writing it out and getting it off my chest is enough. If I am still angry I will keepit in drafts and decide once I’ve slept on it whether it is worth sending/discussing or not. It’s good to get perspective and not be too hot headed and reactive.

Lol I'm too scared of accidently sending it by mistake so I write it out on post its instead

 

[Jaybtee]

my office is awful at the moment, im part time so i get alot of tuts and eye rolls if things build up (we are secretaries). Also loudly saying things like “looks like we’re the only ones doing any work around here!!” Passive aggressively as passing my desk. We are all the same level . I dont know if its because im 30 and they are 50 they feel they can do this

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

I don't work in an office and I have to say that posts here make me glad I don't! They make it sound rather crap!

 

[actuallyeducated]

I work with somebody very difficult - and his girlfriend! He is a solicitor who runs this office, his girlfriend is the same level as me.

Said person is very set in his ways (which are completely archaic, slow and sometimes, just ridiculous!). I recently visited another office where they trained me on a new system which is so fast, efficient and makes the job so much easier. The person (and his partner) who I work with are not even willing to try and learn to use it. They say "we've been doing it this way for years and not prepared to change now". He also told me to stop doing it the new way I've been shown. I simply pointed out to him that he does not in fact pay my wages, the partner at the other office does, and therefore I will be doing as the partner says. I told him that if he doesn't like how I do things, he should take it up with the partner (I know he won't because that would mean he gets told I am right and he is wrong). His girlfriend also feels the need to echo anything he says, even though she is at the same level as me and has no authority.

I always just come back with "well you're more than welcome to take this up with the people who pay my wages". They just roll their eyes and laugh at me!

I can relate. It’s an unwritten rule that if you’re a solicitor/legal firm you must not use anything invented after 1985 - most solicitors firms are ran by old men who were probably WW2 evacuees. Don’t believe me? I still use fax and sometimes people can’t open my documents because my version of word is that old.

 

[Sunflower91]

I have to admit that sometimes I am the person who’s slow to reply or just doesn’t reply- but then again I’m in a team of 5 servicing 300 and get hundreds of emails a day. If I don’t reply it’s either because I haven’t seen it or the email is so long and convoluted I need to park it for a quieter time and there never seems to be enough time. Absolutely hate working at home- seems to have brought on an onslaught of people who chase via multiple emails and then repeatedly on teams and this is despite acknowledging receipt and mentioning being very busy. Cc’ing in my boss just makes me laugh because they’re in the same boat I am in terms of work load and we’re both used to being in that rock and hard place of having several people fight for your time because their project is the most urgent.
My tactics are setting clear and firm boundaries- my timings and costings are set in stone. If I’m given no notice for a project it is more likely to be outsourced. I’m clear on what people can expect from me and what I expect in return.
If someone speaks to me/treats me in a bad way eg shouting, poor communication etc I speak with my boss and then arrange a call with the person to clear the air and address things and talk about how things can move forward.

 

[Annie101]

I am fortunate to work in an environment that we are very informal with each other. I can walk into the office in the morning and shout good morning F*ckers. We never have pent up irritations and tell each other like it is.

 

[Meh]

I am fortunate to work in an environment that we are very informal with each other. I can walk into the office in the morning and shout good morning F*ckers. We never have pent up irritations and tell each other like it is.

Hhaha! I love this!

My team are a good bunch and I’ve got some really good friends. However, there is one guy who is nice. But he unfortunately suffers from some severe mental health issues that make him changeable. So you never know how he’s going to be, how he’s going to respond. He often forgets things you’ve discussed and even when presented with proof still deny he said/agreed that etc. He can be a great laugh one day then INCREDIBLY formal snd stiff the next.

Mental health in the workplace often focuses on the individual but sometimes I wonder why the impact to their colleagues isn’t considered more. It’s definitely a tricky area and everyone suffering with MH needs and deserves support. However, constantly walking on egg shells, watching what/how you say, worrying about how things could be perceived or taken, constantly tip toeing around is EXHAUSTING for colleagues. It really is. Also, I snd another woman in our team end up picking up more of the “ad hoc/ over snd above the job role” type projects. Our bosses have told us they can’t over burden this individual. Yet, it’s fine to pile it on to others. It can cause resentments.