Difficult people at work

[Lechat]

interested to hear people advice for dealing with difficult people. Whether rude, won’t get back to you, won’t take any responsibility or actions, turns every reasonable ask into a big deal... I’m interested to know what you find works with difficult people at work especially senior managers.
I get people are busy and so on but finding since working from home a new level of arseholery is starting to exist. Maybe people just find it easy to be a keyboard warrior??

 

[Kim Mild]

Arseholery is a brilliant word.

I wonder if people are more confident at home and this makes them cocky.

 

[Lechat]

I wonder that too, as not physically seeing people means you don’t have to deal with the consequences when you see them next!

 

[Kim Mild]

I wonder that too, as not physically seeing people means you don’t have to deal with the consequences when you see them next!

True , and being in their own surroundings may make them less professional

 

[Hendrix]

For people who don't reply I chase them twice and if no reply on the third email I copy in their manager which works 99% of the time, for any level of staff whether they are below or above me. This isn't me being a fool this is a process I have to follow in my job. If there's still no response I escalate to my manager who deals with it from there.

We use Skype as an IM and getting responses on that since working from home can be a challenge.

I definitely believe people are more brave as they are working from home and don't need to deal with others face to face.

 

[Lechat]

I think it’s good to set those boundaries to be fair. I hate chasing people for a response. I know peoples inboxes get busy but some people never seem to reply.

i think there’s a good chance that the work culture at many firms will get more difficult and toxic with wfh, I’m not surehow firms overcome making employees deal with each other respectfully especially when some people seem to enjoy being an hole!

 

[Hendrix]

I think it’s good to set those boundaries to be fair. I hate chasing people for a response. I know peoples inboxes get busy but some people never seem to reply.

i think there’s a good chance that the work culture at many firms will get more difficult and toxic with wfh, I’m not how firms overcome making employees deal with each other respectfully especially when some people seem to enjoy being an hole!

What annoys me about my work is the senior members of staff get away with sending a cheeky or rude email, if it was me my manager would be on the phone telling me it's not on and could lead to disciplinary action if it continued

 

[Kim Mild]

I had to phone a contact centre for a company just this afternoon and I'm wondering if the person I spoke to was working from home as there was a lot of feedback on the line and I couldn't hear them. I'll have to wait for the letter or email coming to be any wiser.

 

[Lechat]

What annoys me about my work is the senior members of staff get away with sending a cheeky or rude email, if it was me my manager would be on the phone telling me it's not on and could lead to disciplinary action if it continued

totally agree. I could t behave like some people do as I would get pulled up on it! I’ve noticed the people who are often arseholes tend to have an hole boss so their behaviour is obvious ok on their teams. It’s amazing how the same firm can have various sub cultures which totally clash

 

[Hendrix]

I had to phone a contact centre for a company just this afternoon and I'm wondering if the person I spoke to was working from home as there was a lot of feedback on the line and I couldn't hear them. I'll have to wait for the letter or email coming to be any wiser.

The majority of contact centres are working from home and most of the ones I've called advise of this during the automated message you get before someone answers the call

I work in the admin team of a contact centre so don't take incoming calls but I have had to call customers and they often laugh when they hear my pug snoring at my feet!

 

[Mulholland Drive]

The level of arseholery was pretty epic when I was working forain IT company 3 or 4 years ago. Give someone the word "manager" in their job title, and all of a sudden they're jumping all over you demanding this, that and the other while riding their highest of high horses.

duck all that, and the horse they rode in on. I went the self-employed route and now I manage my own destiny. And yet ironically, I still get emails from those very same faux managers still struggling to understand some of the projects I did for them some 4 years ago!

 

[Lechat]

The level of arseholery was pretty epic when I was working forain IT company 3 or 4 years ago. Give someone the word "manager" in their job title, and all of a sudden they're jumping all over you demanding this, that and the other while riding their highest of high horses.

duck all that, and the horse they rode in on. I went the self-employed route and now I manage my own destiny. And yet ironically, I still get emails from those very same faux managers still struggling to understand some of the projects I did for them some 4 years ago!

this is very true, some people really change as soon as they get a certain title. I don’t get it, I treat everyone the same from the cleaner to an executive. Everyone is worthy of respect!

I bet that’s a key perk of being self employed as you get away from all the hierarchical bull at work.

 

[Loulou_23]

Arseholery brilliant

A few people on my team have definitely turned into / got more Arseholery since working at home! And management who get away with murder but god help if you do the same!

 

[Lechat]

Arseholery brilliant

A few people on my team have definitely turned into / got more Arseholery since working at home! A management who grt away with murder but god help if you do the same!

im glad it’s not just me seeing this trend! yes totally agree managers get away with rudeness that wouldn’t be tolerated from others.
I keep thinking am I too nice, maybe I should just go down the route of being a blunt hole and see what happens

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

This is one of the things that is making me dread finding a new job and going back to work, all the arseholes. I can’t handle being spoken down to and being treated badly. I see red. I come across as this quite shy person, but when people push me too far, I flip and show them I’m not to be pushed around. I’d just love to find a job one day where I don’t have to constantly deal with arseholes.

 

[Isa Drennan]

Just CC in the manager, if they’re being rude or not replying to you, escalate the issue with the appropriate person!

For emails I always found escalating it to someone higher up works well to get a fast reply For face to face arseholes remember they’re usually insecure, don’t put up with any tit, just use company policies to get rid of the fuckwits

This is one of the things that is making me dread finding a new job and going back to work, all the arseholes. I can’t handle being spoken down to and being treated badly. I see red. I come across as this quite shy person, but when people push me too far, I flip and show them I’m not to be pushed around. I’d just love to find a job one day where I don’t have to constantly deal with arseholes.

Walking away helps, also treat them exactly how they treat you, but be nice it drives them mad!

If it’s someone in a superior position, stop making their job easier and show them exactly how much of an hole you can be, when spoken down to

If it’s someone in the same role, do your best to ignore them, treat them like they don’t exist, but also use your company policies to deal with anyone treating you badly!

 

[Lechat]

have to admit many arseholes I’ve come across in my career are white men in their 50s in senior positions. i know that’s a very broad generalisation but I wonder if there’s a generational difference. I’m in my 30s and find managers my age would hate to be seen as hierarchical or to upset people on purpose. could just be my experience tho!

 

[Paradisefalls]

I find this really interesting to read everyone’s experience since wfh became the norm.

I started my current role 4 days before lockdown so I only know the people I work with in this way. I thought there was a higher than usual concentration of assholes but thought it was just the company/client way but maybe it is the keyboard warriors. The client I work with hasn’t had a great time through the pandemic - multiple redundancies and closures so I do try to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I will say I find it a lot easier to detach from mole behaviours and don’t let it get to me as much now as I would have previously when working in an office. I get much less frustrated by them.

In terms of how I deal with them I try to ignore the mole elements of what they say. An old boss of mine gave me the best professional advice about 6 years ago - take the emotion out. If you can take the emotion out of what you do or out of what someone who is being a fool to you is and just stick to the facts it definitely helps and it usually catches them off guard as they normally do it to get a response.

Like a previous poster wrote - if someone doesn’t respond to me - I will chase twice and after that I will flag to my line manager who usually just tells me to chase weekly from there on in and that’s it.

also I always remind myself that there is no point in getting pissed off about them as it won’t make them change but will just frustrate me so it becomes a lose/lose situation for me.

 

[Lechat]

I find this really interesting to read everyone’s experience since wfh became the norm.

I started my current role 4 days before lockdown so I only know the people I work with in this way. I thought there was a higher than usual concentration of assholes but thought it was just the company/client way but maybe it is the keyboard warriors. The client I work with hasn’t had a great time through the pandemic - multiple redundancies and closures so I do try to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I will say I find it a lot easier to detach from mole behaviours and don’t let it get to me as much now as I would have previously when working in an office. I get much less frustrated by them.

In terms of how I deal with them I try to ignore the mole elements of what they say. An old boss of mine gave me the best professional advice about 6 years ago - take the emotion out. If you can take the emotion out of what you do or out of what someone who is being a fool to you is and just stick to the facts it definitely helps and it usually catches them off guard as they normally do it to get a response.

Like a previous poster wrote - if someone doesn’t respond to me - I will chase twice and after that I will flag to my line manager who usually just tells me to chase weekly from there on in and that’s it.

also I always remind myself that there is no point in getting pissed off about them as it won’t make them change but will just frustrate me so it becomes a lose/lose situation for me.

good advice, I agree about taking the emotion out of things even though sometimes it’s really hard. I always take things too personally. sometimes when Ive had a crappy email I’ll wait before responding as need the time to cool off and not be tempted to write an angry response back!

 

[1001 others]

I think there are asshats in every office. Every job I've ever left has been because of the people, not the work itself. Isn't that sad?

I used to think that freelancing remotely would fix all the "dealing with awful people" issues but sadly it doesn't.