How long is ‘a little while? Are we talking hours or days? I’ve found post-pandemic guys certainly are more eager to meet quickly even after one days worth of messaging! I put it down to pent up sexual frustration and tell them I like to get to know them first, if they go quiet I was rightTook the plunge and re-downloaded Hinge. Matched with someone and been talking for a little while. Said would like to meet - been a VERY long time since I dated in general, do folk usually suggest meeting this quickly? I don't even know how to date anymore....
It just depends really. Some people prefer to talk for a while to feel someone out before agreeing to meet, and some people like to strike while the iron's hot and meet someone straight away to discover if there's any chemistry in person instead of chatting over text / the phone for weeks. Also depends on how busy people's schedules are.Took the plunge and re-downloaded Hinge. Matched with someone and been talking for a little while. Said would like to meet - been a VERY long time since I dated in general, do folk usually suggest meeting this quickly? I don't even know how to date anymore....
Yeah it may be better to see if there is a connection early on rather than dragging out messaging. Not getting any youngerIt just depends really. Some people prefer to talk for a while to feel someone out before agreeing to meet, and some people like to strike while the iron's hot and meet someone straight away to discover if there's any chemistry in person instead of chatting over text / the phone for weeks. Also depends on how busy people's schedules are.
Just meet when you feel comfortable.
And technology is our friend ! Phone calls and facetime help to filter out the wrong uns too ! For me the ones that refuse to do either go straight in the bin ! You can get a good sense of a person from a call / facetime.Yeah it may be better to see if there is a connection early on rather than dragging out messaging. Not getting any younger
Oh I cant wait to see how this unfolds over the next few days. You are single but with feelings for both men so you can see both until you agree to be in a couple with one of them. Oh your life is so exciting. Please report back!I guess I'm in a bit of a sticky situation myself with two potential suitors - let's call them Man A and Man B. (Sorry, this is long, I'll do a TL: DR at the end)
CONTEXT: I recently moved to another country. This country is very large, which is important.
Man A lives in the south of the country, about a 4 hour train ride away. I know him through my ex boyfriend (he of the no dick pics), although the ex lives back in the UK. I haven't told ex boyfriend that I've been hanging out with his mate, and I suspect he wouldn't be too thrilled, but whatever, I needed friends! I've fancied Man A since I first met him, and he took me round his local cemetery and cooked me a nice fish (A+ first date, ngl, even though I was dating his friend at the time). Fast forward five years and I'm living in the same country as him, single, and I still fancy him. I see him whenever I'm in his city, which is often. We have wonderful deep conversations, fun outings and share meaningful looks. BIG PROBLEM: After a couple of not-dates, he tells me he's sick. He needs an operation (not easy to get in this country) and he doesn't know how long he has left. I'm distraught but I resolve to be a good friend/shoulder to cry on, but I don't think I can pursue anything in this situation.
(I promise you this is true)
Man B lives in the north of the country. Like, the NORTH. He's a 24 hour train ride away (and this makes us 'neighbours' - I'm sure you've figured out the country by now). I know him through the website Couchsurfing, which is where strangers offer you a couch/spare bed for free - I used to do it loads in my twenties when I did backpacking, but much less since I began to appreciate, y'know, being comfortable. I decided to take a trip to Man B's town a few years ago, and for some reason decided to couchsurf - I picked Man B. We got on like a house on fire, but nothing happened. Fast forward to now and I'm living in his country AND doing some research in his neck of the woods. He says 'stay at mine when you're in town'. I do, he's just as awesome as I remember, we get drunk, we skinny dip in the lake, we end up in bed.
(the sex is INCREDIBLE)
I assume it's just a one time (ok, five times) thing with Man B but as I'm on the (long...LONG) train ride back home, I start to miss him. He texts me he feels the same. He books flights to visit me. I go back to visit him. We book a holiday. We text every day. I like him A LOT, but he's so far, no matter what he says about it being close! I tell him my reservations and he feels the same, but we really like each other so we decide to keep going and revisit the situation in a couple of months.
I haven't seen Man A throughout all of this, and haven't told him about Man B (I wasn't purposely hiding, it just didn't come up). Suddenly, he announces he's coming to my city! And can he stay at mine?! Sure, I say. I tell Man B this but not that I've been crushing on Man A... I figure he doesn't need to know this as we are not officially official and I'm not planning on trying anything with Man A - I really do see myself as just his friend at this point, but this is mostly because I haven't seen him for a few months and I've been focused on Man B. Man B is fine with it, and hasn't shown any signs of being the jealous type (good).
Man A has been texting a lot organising his trip. He's arriving tomorrow for three days. He's been gushing about how much he's looking forward to seeing me and spending time in my 'awesome company' (his words...). He wants to take me to dinner wherever I want to go. He sends me a flirty text about whipping each other with branches in the sauna (I have a sauna in my flat). Now I'm like... IS HE COMING HERE TO WOO ME??
Shit.
I don't know what to do at this point. Part of me thinks neither Man is a go because of logistics, timing, all that boring practical stuff (not to mention Man A's health...). But I also know that I like them both in different ways. Man A stimulates my mind, we have amazing conversations, we connect on a deeper level. Man B stimulates everything else! The sex is off the scale, he makes me laugh, I light up in his presence.
I don't even know if I'm asking for advice because it all depends on what happens in the next few days, but I'd appreciate any wisdom and thoughts from the least bullshitting thread on tattle
TL: DR - I like two men and have started dating one but the other one is coming to stay with me tomorrow and we may end up having sauna sex.
Why ask for his permission though? You owe him nothing especially as he has made it clear that he's not willing to commit.
I think you need to be clear to him that you are both on different pages in terms of what you're looking for and you'd be happy to keep the sexual side of your relationship going but you're not willing to shut yourself off from meeting others and will date if the opportunity arises.
I do think that you won't be able to keep emotional distance from him if you continue the sexual side though. And a weekend away would probably just be a sexfest anyway so he's still having his cake and eating it and you'll come out of it still feeling pissed off and not getting what you need from him. I think you need to bin him at this point.
We always take nude pics/videos together or when we’re apart so he said yes to my cock selfie haha I love themI feel ya. My last boyfriend I badgered him and badgered him for a dick pic but he never would. Something about being a feminist and respecting women??? Errr mate, I'm soliciting - nay, begging - you for a snap of your amazing goldilocks cock. I used to joke I'd finally get one on his death bed and he wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Unfortunately the relationship died before he could
Anyway hi folks! Been loving this thread this past week, and I don't think I've stopped laughing at the laundry basket spunker yet
Omg I’m in a very similar predicament and was coming here for advise!!I guess I'm in a bit of a sticky situation myself with two potential suitors - let's call them Man A and Man B. (Sorry, this is long, I'll do a TL: DR at the end)
CONTEXT: I recently moved to another country. This country is very large, which is important.
Man A lives in the south of the country, about a 4 hour train ride away. I know him through my ex boyfriend (he of the no dick pics), although the ex lives back in the UK. I haven't told ex boyfriend that I've been hanging out with his mate, and I suspect he wouldn't be too thrilled, but whatever, I needed friends! I've fancied Man A since I first met him, and he took me round his local cemetery and cooked me a nice fish (A+ first date, ngl, even though I was dating his friend at the time). Fast forward five years and I'm living in the same country as him, single, and I still fancy him. I see him whenever I'm in his city, which is often. We have wonderful deep conversations, fun outings and share meaningful looks. BIG PROBLEM: After a couple of not-dates, he tells me he's sick. He needs an operation (not easy to get in this country) and he doesn't know how long he has left. I'm distraught but I resolve to be a good friend/shoulder to cry on, but I don't think I can pursue anything in this situation.
(I promise you this is true)
Man B lives in the north of the country. Like, the NORTH. He's a 24 hour train ride away (and this makes us 'neighbours' - I'm sure you've figured out the country by now). I know him through the website Couchsurfing, which is where strangers offer you a couch/spare bed for free - I used to do it loads in my twenties when I did backpacking, but much less since I began to appreciate, y'know, being comfortable. I decided to take a trip to Man B's town a few years ago, and for some reason decided to couchsurf - I picked Man B. We got on like a house on fire, but nothing happened. Fast forward to now and I'm living in his country AND doing some research in his neck of the woods. He says 'stay at mine when you're in town'. I do, he's just as awesome as I remember, we get drunk, we skinny dip in the lake, we end up in bed.
(the sex is INCREDIBLE)
I assume it's just a one time (ok, five times) thing with Man B but as I'm on the (long...LONG) train ride back home, I start to miss him. He texts me he feels the same. He books flights to visit me. I go back to visit him. We book a holiday. We text every day. I like him A LOT, but he's so far, no matter what he says about it being close! I tell him my reservations and he feels the same, but we really like each other so we decide to keep going and revisit the situation in a couple of months.
I haven't seen Man A throughout all of this, and haven't told him about Man B (I wasn't purposely hiding, it just didn't come up). Suddenly, he announces he's coming to my city! And can he stay at mine?! Sure, I say. I tell Man B this but not that I've been crushing on Man A... I figure he doesn't need to know this as we are not officially official and I'm not planning on trying anything with Man A - I really do see myself as just his friend at this point, but this is mostly because I haven't seen him for a few months and I've been focused on Man B. Man B is fine with it, and hasn't shown any signs of being the jealous type (good).
Man A has been texting a lot organising his trip. He's arriving tomorrow for three days. He's been gushing about how much he's looking forward to seeing me and spending time in my 'awesome company' (his words...). He wants to take me to dinner wherever I want to go. He sends me a flirty text about whipping each other with branches in the sauna (I have a sauna in my flat). Now I'm like... IS HE COMING HERE TO WOO ME??
Shit.
I don't know what to do at this point. Part of me thinks neither Man is a go because of logistics, timing, all that boring practical stuff (not to mention Man A's health...). But I also know that I like them both in different ways. Man A stimulates my mind, we have amazing conversations, we connect on a deeper level. Man B stimulates everything else! The sex is off the scale, he makes me laugh, I light up in his presence.
I don't even know if I'm asking for advice because it all depends on what happens in the next few days, but I'd appreciate any wisdom and thoughts from the least bullshitting thread on tattle
TL: DR - I like two men and have started dating one but the other one is coming to stay with me tomorrow and we may end up having sauna sex.
If you meet him in a public place, like in a coffee shop outside or so - if the weather suits?OK. New match person has requested a date tomorrow... Still only had brief conversation via the app... not exchanged numbers. Linked insta looks legit and found a matching FB (I think I watch too much catfish). I'm super scared mind. Haven't been on an app date for honestly over a decade....
I have a conversation first to see if you get on. I have had a couple of chats that I knew would go nowhere.OK. New match person has requested a date tomorrow... Still only had brief conversation via the app... not exchanged numbers. Linked insta looks legit and found a matching FB (I think I watch too much catfish). I'm super scared mind. Haven't been on an app date for honestly over a decade....
Personally for me man 2 sounds more up my street but I think as things progress you'll naturally gravitate towards one of them moreOmg I’m in a very similar predicament and was coming here for advise!!
Man 1: been seeing each other since mid may and he is perfect on paper but…due to his job I’ve only physically seen him around 8-10 times. I believe he’s telling the truth about work but there’s been times I think he could have met me. The other but, is it’s always at mine even though he’s spoken about taking me out it’s just never happened. My love language is quality time.
Man 2: we met through friends 8 years ago and there always been chemistry but I was in a relationship when we hung out, he messaged me a few years ago but I was already seeing someone. This weekend we started talking again and he jumped at the chance to see me Sunday and Monday evening. It was so comfortable after not seeing each other for years and he’s planning dates, etc. However, he’s not the typical type I would go for and he is very loud and out there (also from the same place and profession as my ex which puts me off). He’s always messaging and very upfront with how he feels.
My head is all over the place as it’s one extreme to the other (super chill & Irishor quite forward)! I obviously don’t want to lead anyone on but no clue what to do
Can I hire you ?!!I have a conversation first to see if you get on. I have had a couple of chats that I knew would go nowhere.
With regard to doing some social media snooping I am the queen of this. One bloke gave me enough bits of information to find his two ex wives, address, private practice and his kids facebook. I even had a look on Companies House for his accounts!!!
I never do this.I have a conversation first to see if you get on. I have had a couple of chats that I knew would go nowhere.
With regard to doing some social media snooping I am the queen of this. One bloke gave me enough bits of information to find his two ex wives, address, private practice and his kids facebook. I even had a look on Companies House for his accounts!!!
I never look either but yesterday I was randomly scrolling and saw that a lad I had a 8 month lockdown thing with has moved in with his girlfriend and is having a baby. Funny how fast some people move but I felt happy for him.I never do this.
Tbh I don't even know the last name of the guy I have been dating since early June. I am not normal
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