Covid positive housemate - help

[monga]

Hey all - I’m hoping someone will be able to give me some sound advice on a house share situation I’m currently in.

One of my housemates (not a close friend FYI, just a house share) tested positive for covid-19 via two lateral flows on Sunday and is awaiting a PCR result. My issue at the moment is that she is supposed to be self isolating in her room, yet she is leaving every hour or so and is in the communal areas. Obviously I know she has to go to the kitchen to prepare food, but I feel as though leaving her room so often and wandering the house freely is incredibly inconsiderate to the rest of us who live here especially as most of us are WFH.

I messaged her this evening to ask her if she would leave her room less often and if she would wipe down the kitchen after she has used it. She has replied telling me she is depressed (she has some learning difficulties) and is leaving her room when it is essential and is wiping things down (this isn’t true).

To be honest I’m a bit stuck on what to do. Im very fearful of catching covid now in particular as I’m supposed to be spending Christmas with the family I couldn’t spend it with last year and would hate to pass it on. I have considered telling my landlord that I don’t think she’s taking it seriously but I also don’t want to be unkind if she’s struggling mentally.

Any advice would be appreciated

Have none of you offered to bring her some food and leave it outside her room ? how else is she supposed to eat if she's isolating and people complaining because she's using the kitchen ?

 

[judgejohndeed]

I really understand the fear of catching COVID but she can't spend 10 days or whatever it is just trapped in her room on her own. Especially if she's struggling with her mental health. Unfortunately this is one of the risks you have to accept when you share a house with other people. It sounds like she's following the rules and not leaving the house. You're already sharing the same air and COVID is airborne so I'm not sure that reducing how frequently she goes into the communal areas would necessarily reduce the likelihood that you would catch it - there's people who spend hours in a car or venue with someone with COVID who don't catch it, while others pass someone with it once and catch it. If you're really worried about it can you go home to your family early or go and stay away with your friends/family for a few days? If you're double jabbed you don't have to stay in the house with her but she has no choice but to stay there.

 

[HoGi]

I’d report her to the landlord tbh. She is putting others health at risk. Why are you being considerate of her mental struggles when she is not being considerate of your health at all!?

Mental health is just as important as physical health

 

[Blond3g1rl]

glad I’m not your housemate

 

[candyland_]

She should be allowed to move around freely imo.

 

[Bleurghgram]

I live in a houseshare and had covid. Honestly, staying in my room was horrible. My boyfriend caught it from me so the two of us spent 10 days trying to work from my bed. We’d try to be as considerate as possible ie we’d text my housemates to say we were going to cook meals and would be in the communal area for X amount of time but it was really fucking hard. I get that you’re scared but she probably is too, and she’s unwell.

If it makes you feel any better, none of my housemates caught it.

 

[Sominxo]

Mental health is just as important as physical health

I absolutely know. I didn’t mean it to come across otherwise, what I’m saying is we all need to be mindful of others - therefore OP is being mindful of the roommates MH, the roommate should also be considerate of her housemates physical health.

 

[Scorpihoe]

I think there’s not much you can do. Just take care of yourself, wipe down surfaces, wear a mask, wear gloves etc.

also I’m sure the landlord wouldn’t do anything. Besides, how can you prove she’s leaving her room unnecessarily or not wiping down surfaces? She could just say she is taking all necessary precautions. It’s really your word against hers, and if you reported her, sadly she could act out and do as she pleases. Legally, all she has to do is isolate, which she’s doing

 

[AdelesEarring]

When you live in a house with other people, you have to accept that you might get Covid if someone in that household comes down with it. It shouldn’t really make a difference that this person isn’t a friend or family member. If you live in a house of people, you can’t just treat someone like a leper if they happen to get it. You wouldn’t treat your mum this way, so why her?

With all that said, she should wear a mask when leaving her room if she can possibly manage to do so.

 

[bananabutter]

Have none of you offered to bring her some food and leave it outside her room ? how else is she supposed to eat if she's isolating and people complaining because she's using the kitchen ?

This response isn’t just to you FYI more to everyone who’s replied.

Obviously none of us care she’s using the kitchen (I’d hardly expect her to sit in one room and starve for 10 days!) it was more the fact that we felt a bit like she’s in the communal areas several times an hour and it wouldn’t kill her to wear a mask if others are around or to maybe just come down at mealtimes. We’ve all offered to help, we offered to bring her food to her room and asked if she’d like us to get her anything from the shops but everything’s been a firm no she doesn’t see the point. Maybe I am being harsh it can’t be easy being stuck inside for ten days, but there are another five of us living here and I didn’t think it was too much to ask that she cleans up after herself and to be a bit more mindful.

The point of me writing this post was to see if anyone else had experienced something similar and to hopefully put my mind at rest that we won’t necessarily get it. Thank you to everyone who has replied I’ll take the advice forward.

 

[Ltm19]

Move out.
Find a place of your own.
Is that simple really...

 

[Kim Mild]

I'm not really sure what the landlord would do about it to be honest. I expect she still pays her rent , and she has just as much right to be there as you.
And as long as she isn't leaving the boundaries of your property, she isn't doing anything against the isolation procedure .

I think she could be more courteous during your working hours. Maybe approach from the angle that she is disturbing your work and try to find a solution to that rather than focusing on the fact you worry about catching covid.

 

[Sominxo]

I’d report her to the landlord tbh. She is putting others health at risk. Why are you being considerate of her mental struggles when she is not being considerate of your health at all!?

 

[boomska]

One of my housemate had covid and went into the kitchen to go and wore a mask and we kept our distance from him. And he mostly stayed in his bedroom; it was during summer so he also sat outside in the garden a lot of time too.
But neither me and the other housemates didn’t get it and this was before we got the jab.

i know it might be stressful but just wipe everything down after you use it, keep your distance- you’ll be fine!

 

[Secretadmirer]

Can understand your concerns completely but that is her house at the end of the day so she doesn’t really have to confined to her room 24/7. She could of course be considerate and wipe stuff down/wear a mask but not everyone is that considerate and no matter how much you tell them they just won’t listen. I think for my own peace of mind I’d want to be wiping stuff down myself anyway though and maybe even wear a mask if I felt it necessary. Can you open windows in the communal areas? That may help.
That being said I know so many households where one person has had covid and nobody else has caught it and they weren’t staying apart much because it just wasn’t possible so it doesn’t mean you’re 100% going to get it.

 

[Giggling Squid]

As Hope said, it doesn’t necessarily pass on as easily as you’d think. I have a good friend who spent 4 hours in a car (windows closed) with someone who was positive, and symptomatic and he never tested positive.

Wear a mask, wipe things down before you use them, including door knobs, light switches, high use touch points and avoid her. Try not to worry!

 

[monga]

This response isn’t just to you FYI more to everyone who’s replied.

Obviously none of us care she’s using the kitchen (I’d hardly expect her to sit in one room and starve for 10 days!) it was more the fact that we felt a bit like she’s in the communal areas several times an hour and it wouldn’t kill her to wear a mask if others are around or to maybe just come down at mealtimes. We’ve all offered to help, we offered to bring her food to her room and asked if she’d like us to get her anything from the shops but everything’s been a firm no she doesn’t see the point. Maybe I am being harsh it can’t be easy being stuck inside for ten days, but there are another five of us living here and I didn’t think it was too much to ask that she cleans up after herself and to be a bit more mindful.

The point of me writing this post was to see if anyone else had experienced something similar and to hopefully put my mind at rest that we won’t necessarily get it. Thank you to everyone who has replied I’ll take the advice forward.

Thanks for explaining that I thought maybe she was stuck for food/ drinks etc . I don’t have any advice to offer only to keep reminding her that she needs to be more responsible with health measures ,does she have any family that could maybe have a word with her ? maybe she would be more inclined to listen to them than her housemates ,her SN may make it difficult to understand what she needs to do and family might get that across to her in a way she’ll understand.

 

[AshMay]

Not much to add to what others have said since annoyingly there's not much you can do Hope you don't catch it!

Would the housemate agree to wear a mask when they leave the room? And also if there's more than 1 bathroom maybe designate one to them for a couple of weeks as well as taking turns in the kitchen. I appreciate isolation is, well, isolating, but out of consideration she should only leave her room for the bathroom and food. If worst comes to it idk if the rest of the house would want to help her with meals etc. to discourage her coming out?

 

[PineappleQueen19]

Is she wearing a mask when she leaves her room where possible? If not why not?

Ultimately you can’t force her so if she won’t, she won’t. All you can do is wear one yourself in shared areas as much as possible.

A recent meta-study showed the importance of mask wearing - perhaps share the findings with her? Most news outlets covered it so you could find it from whichever media source she goes to (if you know) for credibility.

Mask-wearing linked to 53% cut in Covid incidence, global study finds

Researchers said results highlight the need to continue with face coverings, social distancing and handwashing alongside vaccine programmes

www.theguardian.com

Good luck OP - fingers crossed you keep testing negative

 

[hol20x]

Is there another toilet that just she can use? Would she agree to someone else preparing her meals and leaving them outside her door? Perhaps using paper plates and disposable cutlery?