Cleaning with Mario #90 Much to his dismay, Mario's been dumped by Ava May

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Right @hopethishelpsallthebest a wee joabby fur youse please, a wee Britney/Marion trolly dolly pichure, loadsa luv fae yer biggest fan

Toxic like her breath and so forth.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

@hopethishelpsallthebest maybe hen you could do a wee picture of what is to come fae monzo outside big ben or Buckingham palace wae his pearly king suit Ian so aye tonsa love

I love a wee man who can march, so aye.

 

[Madonna]

I also know that that phone box stinks of piss. Just thought you would all like to know that!

 

[Whenthelightsturntostars]

Is he wearing his (pink) tracksuit underneath his woodlouse coat in London?!?!?!

Thread title suggestion: He's pure tacky, pounding the streets of London in his salmon trackie.

 

[Joolz1980]

Hallllllllllo ma lovelies! How are youse awwww? This is ma first bespoke post ever and am no shoor if ave done it right but it's no ma joab tae know....but I'll get tae know!

Jist wanted tay say that this post has me clutchin ma mahoosive beak on a regular occasion pure cheers me right up way aw this terrible wintum weather wur huvin. But less of ma shite. You do you, as ma best mate Chars Greedy says. Get Tong Braxton pumped up on the wireless and sing it henns Love yeez aw. Yiv goat may through many a shite time and so forth. xxx

 

[peachy-keen]

And just like that?

One trip to London and he’s Carrie fucking Bradshaw

 

[Ferguson]

Hola Ma Lovelies,

A huv been absolutely flaired wi the flu. Honestly been bed bound for about two weeks. On the plus side Av lost a stone.

A didnae even huv the energy to check oot oor Marion or in wi youse trolls.

Kin somebody please gee me a brief overview of what he’s been up tae fur the last two weeks, and wit is he going oan aboot in his latest post aboot spreading his wings?

Tonsalove,
M xxx

Ma lovely, ah have just the treatit for you'se.
I've kept some wee notes. Ah wiz gonnae leave it till the end of the month, but ah cannae be bothered tae continue and so forth (no ma joab)

Marions month so far...
1st. A grand reveal of her Tea Coffee stayshun that she's been planning for 6 months.

2nd. An announcement that due tae the global success of his wax melt in the scent cat pish, he's noo going tae wave goodbye to that wan and take it tae bigger heights in the scents world.
Is he starting his ain bespoke wax melt business?

3rd Shared with us her wee Xmas treatis fae Mammy, a Hinch bedding set, and a pair of wee lassies baby blue trainers for spring
Introduced us tae the colour Toop.

4th. Nae content fae the fat slag

5th. Tells us he is on his 3rd bottle of bespoke shampoo, despite only having 3 hairs on his flat heed and so forth

6th. Emptied his Celebrations intae a bespoke wooden weans treatit box (pedalo vibes)

7th. Gets the McGills, wearing old bobbly joggers, tae Edinburgh, decides tae visit a traditional coffee shop Costa
Aw cosy oan the bus hame by 4pm
Was feart tae wash her woodlouse coat but it came up effect.

8th.
Introduced us tae some boujee bespoke designer body sprays fae that small business Home Bargains. He particularly liked the wan in the scent Nore-ell
Treatit hersel tae a bag fae the market travel bag with a wee scarf tied aroond (circa 1997) fae her upcoming travelling adventures and so forth.

9th. Telt us the reason he disnae go oot.
He "gets so effected physically with just to travel". And goes onto explain....
he gets embarrassed when he needs to ask strangers for help to see.
Please remember, he's just Mario.

10th. Treatit us tae some inspirational quotes.
"Leave the box you've created yourself"
"Baby steps lead to running and takes you onto wonderful moments"

11th. Nae content fae the fat slag.

 

[peachy-keen]

Oh my god Deek has come to london to get him!! Did I hear that right?!

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Wee reading journey fae the weekend and so forth.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Actually no effort went intae the nights outfit. What was her thought process behind it. I'm baffled but we move.

 

[Whenthelightsturntostars]

Just waiting for Mario and his app, to get outta his lane and become a bespoke best selling author.
Working titles include:
'Ma life in the Shart Lane'
'Candy Lane, the edge of insanity'
'Voices from a bumming fort'
'Not without my #gifted hot chocolate station'
'Mop kicking with Marion, ma life in dance'
'Vuew from the bus, a modern take on transport'
'Shattered while shinning bright'
'Smelling the wealth, ma journey from ma sofa'

Brilliant titles hen.

I feel like his cleaning book/notebook could be called Gutted.

He'll be on a self-publishing journey next, ma lovelies.

 

[Madge2022]

Said before I'll say it again he resembles a hot dog. Big hot dog heed Marion.

Spot the difference....

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Don't know if I'm just a cunt, but if someone bought me a star I'd be fumming. What am I meant to do with that? It's not mine, it's just something in the sky. I wouldn't even go look for it. I wouldn't even take 2 minutes to stick my head outside and look, it ain't worth the shit on my shoe. It's like naming a blade of grass or a dog shit on the floor and putting a certificate up for it. Wtf. It's the same as adopt a panda. "Can I have the panda in my garden?" "No, can you fuck love, we'll just send you photos of it, for 6 quid a month" "nah you're alright, I'll just look at pictures on Google for free and so forth."
I'm due on, so I'm feart I'm crabbit the day. Am away.

 

[Babybail93]

That little handbag for a trip to London?

He’s like Nessa when she goes to London with just a pack of fags, tictacs and a spare pare of knickers

 

[Whenthelightsturntostars]

Thank you Hannah
Lots of new potential profile pics for oar "bastardin troll site" (no ma quote).

 

[Babybail93]

Clearly he’s had a full fallout with the ‘this mums journey’ woman, because she didn’t tell him Hinch was calling that time, as she’s not been involved in anything at his house and vice versa. He wouldn’t dream of falling out with Hinch as he’s literally nothing without the odd shout out from her, even though it was her decision not to go and visit him too.

I find it really weird how she plasters that poor wean all over social media just to make herself look better. Instagram is so toxic

 

[twilightgarden]

When he was waddling into the phone box I thought he was naked under his woodlouse jacket but actually he’s wearing his PEACH TRACKSUIT! and big platform trainers but Hannah still towers over him so aye.

I’m affronted for him gan aboot London shrieking like a giddy schoolgirl. Get a life Marion hen.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Hannah ya wee nosey bastard.

 

[GimmeGimmeGimme]

He needs to get a fucking grip, getting dopey Derek to travel hundreds of miles just to escort the stupid prick back home.
I'm actually embarrassed for the fat trollop.

 

[Whenthelightsturntostars]

Oh. My.
Howling.

Kermit the Frog and Maz.