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hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
Christmas is coming hens. Aw cosy and warum.
GreaseSpot
VIP Member
Treatit you all to a bit of an early Christmas eve poem. A vision of what is to come.
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the flat
Not a creature was stirring
It couldn't move for the tat!
The cats bum was hung
From the fire with blue tack
In hope that hot dancing santa
Would soon empty his sack
Their wean is in hiding
Wanting it all to be over
Eyeing the outside
Their excuse they go nowhere
The man children were eating
A Greggs in their bed
Visions of candy canes
Danced in their head
The tress were bedecked
A forest of crap
They'd been up two months
A shiny dust trap
The pyjamas were new
Knock off designer
Crocs were sent back
Due to limits on Klarna
The tinsel was draped
Round the bumming Fort with care
Its covers still missing
They like it to be bare
The cleaning haul was used
to sparkle and shine
Bespoke wax melts lit
Eau de shart and pine
Family gifts are bespoke
from that small business B&M
Bought in September
In the season Wintum
The treats are all bought
Shades of beige to delight
Merry Christmas, hold your power
May you all spine bright
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the flat
Not a creature was stirring
It couldn't move for the tat!
The cats bum was hung
From the fire with blue tack
In hope that hot dancing santa
Would soon empty his sack
Their wean is in hiding
Wanting it all to be over
Eyeing the outside
Their excuse they go nowhere
The man children were eating
A Greggs in their bed
Visions of candy canes
Danced in their head
The tress were bedecked
A forest of crap
They'd been up two months
A shiny dust trap
The pyjamas were new
Knock off designer
Crocs were sent back
Due to limits on Klarna
The tinsel was draped
Round the bumming Fort with care
Its covers still missing
They like it to be bare
The cleaning haul was used
to sparkle and shine
Bespoke wax melts lit
Eau de shart and pine
Family gifts are bespoke
from that small business B&M
Bought in September
In the season Wintum
The treats are all bought
Shades of beige to delight
Merry Christmas, hold your power
May you all spine bright
hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
Looking forward to the big reveal, so aye.
hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
Aww Christmas will be in full swing tomorrow hens. Incredible dosnae come close, the noo.
hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
How does any haircut suit this pauper of Paisley?!Gid mawrning tae yiz, relatively, and so forth. Some funny fucker on here ABZALOOTLEE has to photoshop Meirdre’s face onto thisI Marion, the Emperor of Paisley
hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
it's pretty much like this ma lovelei!The details on your bespoke pictures are. I’d love a wee nose through the photos on your phone ma lovelei.
thatsnotstrictlytrue
VIP Member
It’s ridiculous, like I know people who LOVE Christmas big time and none of them go on like this. It’s beyond bizarre at this point. I do like Christmas, but this year I’m dreading it as it’s the first one since we lost our child. I’ve spent all day crying.
We will still do the tree and everything else but like every other year in December.
I see a few Huns on the Hinch pages have their trees up too. Imagine spending months looking at it, it just takes the magic right of Christmas. Rant over.
These threads honestly are getting me through the days right now so Tonsa love to you all for that
Im_Not_Joking_Btch
Member
Croc-ing Around the Christmas Tree 
Thread title if the tree is up before a new thread!
screenfreelookatme
VIP Member
Mrs Hinch is nae coming ta town 
I can think of nothing worse that having Mario invade my personal space and decorate my house for Christmas. I envisage him as a Scheme Queen version of Franck Eggelhoffer - all pretentious and in your face. The mix of halitosis, dupe scent, the unique cheap glue & glitter smell that emanates from garden centre christmas departments, and bespoke IBS requiring access to one of our three toilets ( smell the wealth) is an olfactory experience I would prefer to avoid.
Also, do I let him loose on decorations I have chosen and already in my house or does he arrive as the American decorators do, in their van complete with all the required tools, having agreed on a theme. Is he going to bring it all on the bus with him (McGills don't extend to Aberdeenshire yet) or take over a compartment on the train and stagger down the road with it.
Well Mario if you intend setting up a Bespoke Seasonal Designer service and charging for it you better get yourself registered as a sole trader / company with HMRC & get yourself proper liability insurance.
Edited to add ; He has absolutely ripped ma knitting this morning. My elder son and his work colleagues - most of them graduated in the last couple of years - were offered a department meal out to mark the conclusion of a successful tender. They declined and asked if the money could go to a couple of local charities that support vulnerable families. In addition to that they each put some of their wages from this months pay-packets that had been boosted by them all working long overtime hours into a kitty and today are going shopping to Smyths and Primark to stock up on toys, hats gloves and jackets to give some local children a happier warmer Christmas.
I am so proud of them all, and not one of them will be sticking it on an 'app' for validation.
F**k off Mario.
Also, do I let him loose on decorations I have chosen and already in my house or does he arrive as the American decorators do, in their van complete with all the required tools, having agreed on a theme. Is he going to bring it all on the bus with him (McGills don't extend to Aberdeenshire yet) or take over a compartment on the train and stagger down the road with it.
Well Mario if you intend setting up a Bespoke Seasonal Designer service and charging for it you better get yourself registered as a sole trader / company with HMRC & get yourself proper liability insurance.
Edited to add ; He has absolutely ripped ma knitting this morning. My elder son and his work colleagues - most of them graduated in the last couple of years - were offered a department meal out to mark the conclusion of a successful tender. They declined and asked if the money could go to a couple of local charities that support vulnerable families. In addition to that they each put some of their wages from this months pay-packets that had been boosted by them all working long overtime hours into a kitty and today are going shopping to Smyths and Primark to stock up on toys, hats gloves and jackets to give some local children a happier warmer Christmas.
I am so proud of them all, and not one of them will be sticking it on an 'app' for validation.
F**k off Mario.
Last edited:
DilysMcGillis
Well-known member
If “Croc-ing around the Chrissmass Tress, relatively” isn’t the next thread title I’ll smash this gaff right up
hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
Just seen this oan that app.
Serena6112
Member
A hope naebody minds but in ma pure excitement at joining the thread a huv swerved reet oot ma ain layn and penned a wee Christmas carol fir yis aw to celebrate the festive season that is upon us.
It was all hallows eve and aw through the flat,
The flairboards were buckling under the weight of the tat.
Poor baby gurul Rayn choked on the wax melt stench,
As fifteen choclit stations were crammed on the bench.
The wee junkies above were kicking oaf at the farce,
As 7 foot tree branches poked at their arse.
Wee deek was hiding in the bumming fort,
Wondering how long he might get for murder in court.
In the Christmas Eve boxes made for two grown men,
Were pjs the size of a young girl of ten.
Mop kicking slippers were stuffed inside,
And CK one too, smell the wealth it’s not snide.
But where might you ask was the star of the show,
The wee fella who had Beirut all of a glow.
Well wee Mazda is dangling from the ceiling above,
Putting the star oan the tree top as he belts Higher Love.
A hope yis enjoyed hens
It was all hallows eve and aw through the flat,
The flairboards were buckling under the weight of the tat.
Poor baby gurul Rayn choked on the wax melt stench,
As fifteen choclit stations were crammed on the bench.
The wee junkies above were kicking oaf at the farce,
As 7 foot tree branches poked at their arse.
Wee deek was hiding in the bumming fort,
Wondering how long he might get for murder in court.
In the Christmas Eve boxes made for two grown men,
Were pjs the size of a young girl of ten.
Mop kicking slippers were stuffed inside,
And CK one too, smell the wealth it’s not snide.
But where might you ask was the star of the show,
The wee fella who had Beirut all of a glow.
Well wee Mazda is dangling from the ceiling above,
Putting the star oan the tree top as he belts Higher Love.
A hope yis enjoyed hens
Big hugs, I won't say it 'gets easier' but it does get 'different'. 23 years since I lost my elder sons' twin and 10 since my younger son at age 12 - each year my elder son & I add another fun bauble to the tree for each of them. (We have two trees - one of them is taller than 7'It’s ridiculous, like I know people who LOVE Christmas big time and none of them go on like this. It’s beyond bizarre at this point. I do like Christmas, but this year I’m dreading it as it’s the first one since we lost our child. I’ve spent all day crying.
We will still do the tree and everything else but like every other year in December.
I see a few Huns on the Hinch pages have their trees up too. Imagine spending months looking at it, it just takes the magic right of Christmas. Rant over.
These threads honestly are getting me through the days right now so Tonsa love to you all for that
)I carry them both in my heart, miss them like crazy and still quietly include them both in our celebrations.
Sending you love from a Mum that wears the same t-shirt xx
(For Mario with his single digit IQ, Christmas is about tinsel, tat and taunting trolls. Christmas is a hard time for many, as it is a time for family, friends and being with people you love - Mario cannot grasp that.)
menopausalmargrit
VIP Member
WELL DO SOMETHING ON YOUR PLATFORM TO RAISE FUCKING MONEY FOR A HOSPICE YOU DISGUSTING CUNT!!!!View attachment 1686204
I’m sorry but what??? The exclamation marks, he really needs to learn what they’re intended for. He also needs to learn how to use basic punctuation. Also Martin, it’s families and breathehe literally fucks everything up, absolute moron!
Having lost my Gran to cancer and spent time watching her deteriorate is triggering! And the one thing she said to me when she was days away from death and only 5 stone will never leave me so to see him try to sympathise with something he knows nothing about has really fucked me off!!!
JessicaFletcher36
VIP Member
I dont comment on this thread often but I hope Rayn escapes down the stairwell in the sleigh