Cleaning with Mario #49 It really is Candy Cane Lame

[Kaydeelaydee]

Away in a bedsit
There's a plush bespoke bed
Where the little shit Mario
Lays down his thumb head
The stars from the nightlight
Looked down where he lay
The little shit Mario
Fuhl rent must he pay

 

[bluey]

Did he run out of paint?

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Marion when he got back from his brothers

 

[Under_The_Influencer]

Trying to think of a bespoke made to order Christmas playlist for Candy Cane tenement

1. Hooverin’ Around The Christmas Tree
2. (McGills Bus) Home For Christmas
3. Do They Know It’s Autumn?
4. Fairytale of Paisley
5. All I Want For Christmas Is Jo Malone
6. Baby, It’s Warum Outside
7. Ave Maria (Aromas)

and for Boxing Day…
8. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Easter



any more?

 

[Under_The_Influencer]

I imagine wee Deek will be getting a crabbit text message on his tea break today something like this

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Okay! Who's going to take one for the team and offer to be a surrogate?

Nae surrogate needed ma lovelies, I am able to birth ma ain wee wain, so sit doon and get some class, so aye.

 

[mrsbucket]

“All balloons will deflate” it’s likes he has just learned that himself and is regurgitating it.

I hope his ego deflates along with them. What a roaster!

It sounds like a philosophical quote to me ma lovelie 🥲

 

[Blanche Hunt]

It's Christmas time, there's no need to rein it in

At Christmas time, Marion brings in tat and empties the savings tin

And in his world of fuckall he can spread a Klarna pay

Throw your credit cards around Home Bargains at Christmas time

But say a prayer, Pray for Wee Deek and Rayn

At Christmas time it's hard, but when you're having fun

There's a world outside their window
Where the neighbours are punting gear

Where the only water flowing
Is running doon the panelling

And the Christmas bells that ring
There are the polis sirens of doom

Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you

And there won't be snow in Paisley this Christmas time

The greatest gift they'll get this year is life

Where nobody will ever go

How he affords it we don’t know

Do they know it's Christmas time at all?

 

[lauhlauhlauh]

New Thread title suggestion: Mazza and The McKnightmare Before Christmas: Curse of the Nippy Bum Bum Sauce

 

[Doingitforthegramhuns]

Absolutely howling and clutching ma beak at this one ma lovelies. A doop in the scent meth, the crack heads downstairs will think they’ve died and gone to heaven when he burns this one

 

[GiftedNotFree]

Christmas 2018 versus 2021……

But he absolutely doesnae dae any ae this for validation!!!!!!!!!!

His bedsit, his (Derek’s) credit card bill, his rules.

 

[GiftedNotFree]

Announcing you've had the shits. Nice.

That living room looks BALTIC. Pure icy vibes

Imagine telling 10k followers, 20k tattle trolls and 113k bots that you’ve been up all night with the shits ‍

Delusions_and_Diarrhoea_with_Mario

 

[blocknroll]

Trying to think of a bespoke made to order Christmas playlist for Candy Cane tenement

1. Hooverin’ Around The Christmas Tree
2. (McGills Bus) Home For Christmas
3. Do They Know It’s Autumn?
4. Fairytale of Paisley
5. All I Want For Christmas Is Jo Malone
6. Baby, It’s Warum Outside
7. Ave Maria (Aromas)

and for Boxing Day…
8. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Easter



any more?

Howlin and clutchin ma beak, lovelie.

9. Derek’s Boy Child
10. Happy Xmas (Autumn isn’t Over)
11. The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An LED Fire)
12. Stop the IBS

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Hello ma lovelies, fresh sheets the night, sore stomach, cannae think why.. only had cheesy chips, wee greasy kebab, nippy bum bum sauce, hot chocolate and cream cakes so aye... Absolootley nothing to do with it triggering ma bespoke ibs. To settle my stomach its gonna have to be some wee salty soup...but we plod on. Stay cosy ma lovelies

 

[mrsbucket]

Hi Mario ma lovelie, your panelled alcoves look fucking vile. Built in bookcases would look much more boujie and just think how much tat you could fill them with

Ma lovelie am going tae say this only wunce the day...

MARIO!
DOESNAE!
LIKE!
CLUTTER!

 

[Under_The_Influencer]

Loving all your song suggestions Will be a double CD at this rate

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

Trying to think of a bespoke made to order Christmas playlist for Candy Cane tenement

1. Hooverin’ Around The Christmas Tree
2. (McGills Bus) Home For Christmas
3. Do They Know It’s Autumn?
4. Fairytale of Paisley
5. All I Want For Christmas Is Jo Malone
6. Baby, It’s Warum Outside
7. Ave Maria (Aromas)

and for Boxing Day…
8. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Easter



any more?

Laaaaast Christmas, Debenhams gave you statutory redundancy
And the very next day, you spunked the fucking lot on Charlotte Tilbury makeup you’ve never even opened, let alone used

 

[Dawn Dayn]

I've loved Christmas 2021 ma lovelies, boxing day tomorrow.

 

[Blanche Hunt]

I feel like the real reason I read Trainspotting at uni, was in preparation to go on my Tattle Mario Journey

Ah couldnae help masel

Choose nae life. Choose a part time joab. Choose a real joab but this app isnae ma actual joab. Choose a cat. Choose a fucking big television that doesnae fit the media wall. Choose Christmas trees, candy canes, balloon arches and hot chocolate stations. Choose Catlevecchi and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit crushing Christmas films, stuffing criss and joos into your mouth. Choose rotting away in the end of it all, IBS through the flair in a miserable hobbit hole, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up cats you spawned to replace the wains you didnae huv. choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?

 

[GiftedNotFree]

Why does he always infer that it’s a touchy subject that they don’t have children? You’re in a gay relationship Mario - zero chance of a natural pregnancy if you so desire kids, you would actually need to proactively attempt to make that happen, whether that be a biological route or adoptive no one is going to gift you a child, ma lovelie.