hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
I feel as a society, we cannot allow this to happen. The poor children, will be clad head to toe in bespoke, finest sports direct, reduced section.
- Notice
Babybail93
VIP Member
Had to put two thread suggestions today because they are things of beauty. So aye
Thank you @twilightgarden & @Curtaintwitcher45
Pure made to order bespoke
So, for the first half of the last thread our wee munchkin was pushing his autumn shite on everyone still. It’s been worked out he’s spent over £300 on rubbish in a short couple of weeks.
He went to Edinburgh for the morning on the magic bus and only got a grundy cardy for £12
He has been served orders on the slum, he has at most two years left there before it raised to the groooond.
Despite eviction and possibly moving to an even worse area, he still spunks money instead of saving for a mortgage.
His one goal in life at the age of 38 is to have a cooncil place with a front AND back door. Dream big Mario hen.
He’s pulled out the Christmas shite on 20th September.
He isn’t a parody account as far as we can work out. I repeat, he is NOT a parody
So aye
Thank you @twilightgarden & @Curtaintwitcher45
Pure made to order bespoke
So, for the first half of the last thread our wee munchkin was pushing his autumn shite on everyone still. It’s been worked out he’s spent over £300 on rubbish in a short couple of weeks.
He went to Edinburgh for the morning on the magic bus and only got a grundy cardy for £12
He has been served orders on the slum, he has at most two years left there before it raised to the groooond.
Despite eviction and possibly moving to an even worse area, he still spunks money instead of saving for a mortgage.
His one goal in life at the age of 38 is to have a cooncil place with a front AND back door. Dream big Mario hen.
He’s pulled out the Christmas shite on 20th September.
He isn’t a parody account as far as we can work out. I repeat, he is NOT a parody
So aye
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Cady1954
VIP Member
The one where Mario thought he was going up in the world
One day Maz and Derek got a letter through their door
And when they both had read it tears started to pour
'Oh no 'wailed Maz in anguish 'Ah love ma boujie flat
We've just done all the panelling and got ourselves a cat'
But then he had a thought, a thought that stopped his whining
This might be a good thing a cloud with silver lining
His single brain cell stirred and his heart began to soar
'This might be a chance for my very own front door!
I'll cover it in roses and build a picket fence
Ooh im so excited let the journey now commence
We might even have two bedrooms, how lovely that will be
I may even try to squeeze in another Xmas tree'
That night he lay in bed too excited for to sleep
His very own two-bedroom council house to keep!
But when dawn broke through the curtains and the sun began to rise
Derek was beside him when Maz opened his eyes
He had a look of sorrow on his funny little face
And took a confused Mario into his embrace
'I've got something to tell you that's going to cause you pain'
'Oh no' said poor Mario 'It's those Tattle Trolls again'
But as Derek softly held his hand and started to explain
Marios face crumpled and the tears flowed again
He let out such a scream, threw a punch at Dereks jaw
Poor little Derek was spark out on the floor
His dreams came crashing down, turning into dust
'Oh woe 'is me he moaned 'My life is so unjust
I'm doomed to spend my life in this pokey little flat
With a pygmy for a boyfriend and a psychopathic cat'
One day Maz and Derek got a letter through their door
And when they both had read it tears started to pour
'Oh no 'wailed Maz in anguish 'Ah love ma boujie flat
We've just done all the panelling and got ourselves a cat'
But then he had a thought, a thought that stopped his whining
This might be a good thing a cloud with silver lining
His single brain cell stirred and his heart began to soar
'This might be a chance for my very own front door!
I'll cover it in roses and build a picket fence
Ooh im so excited let the journey now commence
We might even have two bedrooms, how lovely that will be
I may even try to squeeze in another Xmas tree'
That night he lay in bed too excited for to sleep
His very own two-bedroom council house to keep!
But when dawn broke through the curtains and the sun began to rise
Derek was beside him when Maz opened his eyes
He had a look of sorrow on his funny little face
And took a confused Mario into his embrace
'I've got something to tell you that's going to cause you pain'
'Oh no' said poor Mario 'It's those Tattle Trolls again'
But as Derek softly held his hand and started to explain
Marios face crumpled and the tears flowed again
He let out such a scream, threw a punch at Dereks jaw
Poor little Derek was spark out on the floor
His dreams came crashing down, turning into dust
'Oh woe 'is me he moaned 'My life is so unjust
I'm doomed to spend my life in this pokey little flat
With a pygmy for a boyfriend and a psychopathic cat'
hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
Hello ma lovelies, loadsa youse is asking about ma beautiful wee winter coat, in the bespoke colour of beige, and in the scent of Paisley nursing home. It's a bespoke small business shop called The Bon Marche and yeah I really am loving it, it's wee cozy and warm and so forth. Aye.
Couldlifeeverbesaneagain
Chatty Member
Hot off the press 
Mario's new book is ready to hit the stores.
Mario's new book is ready to hit the stores.
Attachments
hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
I cannae wait for the Christmas countdown. Wee elf in his hobby hole.
Attachments
menopausalmargrit
VIP Member
Marion has taken a tab of acid, pass it oan.Give me friggin strength
Skyflier6727
VIP Member
Thread suggestion - Xmas PJs smell the wealth, our very own Mario elf on the shelf
Babybail93
VIP Member
Oh fucks sake! Stop it now. You cannot be serious!? 
other things online
VIP Member
Why’s the mad cunt always got hocus pocus as a screensaver on his tv?
hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
There. That's better.
Babybail93
VIP Member
Jesus Christ. He was Judith Chalmers yesterday, today he thinks he’s Brian Cox
How does that tiny brain work?
How does that tiny brain work?
Oh here we go…… they are going to track us down by IP address, knock at our doors, expose us to our bosses, friends and family…… for having an opinion.
If you decide to share ALL AREAS OF YOUR LIFE on social media you can’t pick and chose the responses you will receive. You can’t sit and enjoy the smoke blown up your arse then do a crying live because someone called your autumn display cheap and tacky (for example) I would say you cannot make money off your following and go into that but it hardly applies here.
In reference to tattle, you have to come read here it’s not posted to you in newspaper form. Don’t want to read, don’t. If you receive negativity on Instagram, block, turn off comments, make your page private or take it down. Hardly rocket science!
If you decide to share ALL AREAS OF YOUR LIFE on social media you can’t pick and chose the responses you will receive. You can’t sit and enjoy the smoke blown up your arse then do a crying live because someone called your autumn display cheap and tacky (for example) I would say you cannot make money off your following and go into that but it hardly applies here.
In reference to tattle, you have to come read here it’s not posted to you in newspaper form. Don’t want to read, don’t. If you receive negativity on Instagram, block, turn off comments, make your page private or take it down. Hardly rocket science!
Noseycow2020
VIP Member
Right own up….which on of you tattle bastards did this 
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Wheretonext
VIP Member
He turned down TV 3 times…. I have to say, I actually spat my Heineken out when I read that. What?? Was it crime stoppers ??
hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
Alansbigplate
VIP Member
He came in like a fanny baws