ayeayecaptain
VIP Member
Evening ma lovelies 
- Notice
Cagayu
VIP Member
Oh 
Anti-influencer
VIP Member
I wonder what him and Derek are having for Christmas dinner? Here’s my menu prediction:
Canapés - Rustler burger bites. (One microwaved rustler cut up into little bite size chunks)
Starter - A bespoke lentil soup, (made in his soup maker) accompanied by slices of processed white hovis and Santa butt plug spread
Main - A cosy bowl of hot stovies, looks like shite, tastes like too much salt *chefs kiss*
Dessert - Selection of criss and fridge chocolate accompanied by a tall glass of sugary hot chocolate from the MDF station.
After dinner drinks to wet the whistle and chapped lips - gin served at warm radiator temperature from the boujee drinks trolley. Gin also available from the wine holder.
To finish - a cheeseboard featuring pickled and ham only. No cheese.
Canapés - Rustler burger bites. (One microwaved rustler cut up into little bite size chunks)
Starter - A bespoke lentil soup, (made in his soup maker) accompanied by slices of processed white hovis and Santa butt plug spread
Main - A cosy bowl of hot stovies, looks like shite, tastes like too much salt *chefs kiss*
Dessert - Selection of criss and fridge chocolate accompanied by a tall glass of sugary hot chocolate from the MDF station.
After dinner drinks to wet the whistle and chapped lips - gin served at warm radiator temperature from the boujee drinks trolley. Gin also available from the wine holder.
To finish - a cheeseboard featuring pickled and ham only. No cheese.
shadyessex33
VIP Member
Why does his new hoose coat look like a jacket the mother of the bride would be wearing? 
coupled with his Karen haircut, he really is giving us Christmas jokes!
coupled with his Karen haircut, he really is giving us Christmas jokes!
Kaydeelaydee
VIP Member
Picture the scene. It's a dreich day in Paisley and all sensible hobgoblins wae part time joabs polishing polis truncheons are aw cosy at home under blankets drinking 3000 calorie hot chocolates. The one hobgoblin to rule them all is pounding recognisable stretches of Renfrewshire pavement in his quest for some etc dosh for January, when he happens upon unpaid extras a Mum and her son.
Melvin's consumed with aw the feels after interacting with Claire and young Adam. Choking doon the lump in his throat, tears blinding him to the point he can't see his ain lane anymore never mind get into it, and as he shuffles away with a heart swelling with pride at the thought of being anyones inspiration, he turns for one last farewell look at this lovely mother and son. In a rush of emotion, he blurts out
Is it awrite if a pit this oan ma stories luvs?
GET! TAE! FUCK!
Melvin's consumed with aw the feels after interacting with Claire and young Adam. Choking doon the lump in his throat, tears blinding him to the point he can't see his ain lane anymore never mind get into it, and as he shuffles away with a heart swelling with pride at the thought of being anyones inspiration, he turns for one last farewell look at this lovely mother and son. In a rush of emotion, he blurts out
Is it awrite if a pit this oan ma stories luvs?
GET! TAE! FUCK!
Bluetomato
Well-known member
Merry Christmas all, here is a tattie heart from me to you on this new dayn of dawn 
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Exhausted Pigeon
VIP Member
Anyone remember the encounter with a couple in Debenhams last year where the wife and Marzipan were chatting and when she walked away the hubby said to Marz "Thank you for giving me my wife back."
Marz then storied how emotional he felt that he had managed to bring this woman out of her shell and back to her old self. *wipes away imaginary tear* Haha totally missed the point when the bloke was just bored waiting for his missus!
Marz then storied how emotional he felt that he had managed to bring this woman out of her shell and back to her old self. *wipes away imaginary tear* Haha totally missed the point when the bloke was just bored waiting for his missus!
thatpicniclife
Member
Hello my lovelies, I have the most exciting announcement to make. I had my Christmas present arrive from my Mum this morning and ye will NEVER guess what it was. My wee, little tattle thumbs could hardly get on here quick enough to tell ye all. It's a MARION BATH BOMB & MELTS from Eeeva Meeey. I was practically giddy!!! My Mum is a huge Hinch fan (Lord, forgive her for her sins) so assuming that's where it's come from. She has no idea I'm a devoted Marion troll. Boris may have wanted to ruin my Christmas but this has made it 
menopausalmargrit
VIP Member
As a gay man there is nothing about Marion that would inspire me. When I was younger I was inspired (in love) by Nathan, Vince and Stuart in Queer as Folk and couldn’t wait until I was old enough to go out clubbing so I hardly think someone is inspired by Marion who’s only thrill is a fucking raspberry ripple hot chocolate.
I just wish if he was going to lie he would make it about stuff that’s believable but I suppose given that his whole life is a fantasy I shouldn’t be surprised.
I just wish if he was going to lie he would make it about stuff that’s believable but I suppose given that his whole life is a fantasy I shouldn’t be surprised.
NOID-phal
VIP Member
I've looked through the most liked posts, from all of his threads. Pissing myself laughing now, there are some fantastic posts and pics.Does anyone have this??
Another priceless nugget from the nugget
Behold, the flat headed nose, a new species of dwarf homo sapien, native to Ayrshire.
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menopausalmargrit
VIP Member
How many times has this cunt been READY FOR XMAS?
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shadyessex33
VIP Member
I’m no expert but I reckon them “stories” will be coming out looking the same as they went in
Kaydeelaydee
VIP Member
Running late tonight as I was having a debate with a couple of tenners. Money talks to me you see, and they asked me if they could invite a couple of twenties in for Christmas. I've told them no, it'll be just the two of them and if they give me any crap about it, I'll spend them on crissssss and speonjays. That soon shut them up.
Ma purse, ma rules so aye.
Ma purse, ma rules so aye.
twilightgarden
VIP Member
I've come fleeing oot ma lain and I had a look on his facebook and the photies are hilarious!
I call this... "Take! A! Seat! And! Get! Some! Class!... Karmar on youse arse"
Proof he cuts his own hair to get his bespoke electrocuted hedgehog look:
What had me wiping away tears of laughter, apart from the ridiculous photo, was 'practice makes ok' HAHAHA Really tickled me!
I call this... "Take! A! Seat! And! Get! Some! Class!... Karmar on youse arse"
Proof he cuts his own hair to get his bespoke electrocuted hedgehog look:
What had me wiping away tears of laughter, apart from the ridiculous photo, was 'practice makes ok' HAHAHA
Really tickled me!
Exhausted Pigeon
VIP Member
24hrs in the life of Marlon's digestive system. If I didn't put separation lines in they'd all blend together 
Noseybonk
VIP Member
Ok this is a rare serious moment for me but I just wanted to wish all my fellow tattle bastards and Marion stalkers a very Merry Christmas. I found Tattle for Hinch, but stayed for Mazda (funniest thread ever!) It’s been a shite year for everyone, but coming on here is a little escape from real life and the gloom and doom reality for us all. Here’s to a better 2021. Mwah mwah xxxx
xxxx
Exhausted Pigeon
VIP Member
Excited? Deek looks fuckin mortified
F@&k sake, he’s tipped a postie once a year and is acting like he’s paid to end world poverty. Also, Derek was up at 4am for a shift in retail, the Saturday before Xmas. Marigold is aff all day, tipping posties and folding towels in the colour green onto the toilet pan yet, Derek is still expected to accompany Mazda to do the big shops. Why can’t he do it while Derek is working? Selfish twat
Kaydeelaydee
VIP Member
When you only have to spell one word correctly, and you still cock it up 