I have just realised - you don't really mention how this other guy feels about you? Does he know you're into him as more than a friend? Most of my friends are male and sometimes our messages feel a bit flirty, but realistically it's just a bit of banter (not suggesting that's what your situation is, but I wouldn't take that as reciprocated feelings without him having upfront told you etc)
It's difficult for me to comment on how it could affect your children, but I do feel that if a relationship just doesn't work its not fair on anyone to keep pushing on with it. You can love someone and still acknowledge that as a team you no longer work well. However - I would suggest if ending it is a route you want to pursue, do not jump straight from that into a relationship with someone else.
How you deal with your current relationship should only take into account how you feel about your husband and the dynamics between the two of you - by no means do you need to settle, if there are elements that are making you unhappy.
BUT if you make a decision by taking into account your feelings for this new guy, you may feel you've backed the wrong horse if things don't turn out well, and it would be a lot more likely to turn into the more traumatic break up that you are worrying about affecting your kids.
I really appreciate your replies by the way! Thank you.
Feelings are mutual.
I kept what I felt to myself and about a week after, he brought it up himself.
This is where I'm kind of at.
I love my husband, but the stress he causes over powers that.
And I'm wondering if it's something he sorted out, his anger ect, would it be able to work, would I still be feeling this way.
When I was younger I used to actually wish that my parents would get a divorce, but my mother "stayed for us" and honestly that still really did affect us growing up like that. I'm almost 30 now, my youngest sibling is 18 and my mother is still with my father even though he makes her so miserable, but she can't see another life for herself.
Not the same thing, but I left a four year relationship 18 weeks ago. I knew in my heart that it was already over 6 months- before but I still held on hoping that it would get better. It wasn't going to change and my friends pointed out that it was just hurting me. It takes courage to leave, but ultimately "we accept the love we think we deserve".
If already know your marriage with your husband is beyond saving, do you really want to spend your life living like this?
That's good to hear from the other side.
My biggest worry is with his anger, as he gets quite angry with the children (not physical but swearing and screaming) too but they adore him.
Well done for getting the confidence to do that!
I know I'm capable of doing it as I left a 6 year relationship which had been over for years.
I absolutely loved being single. And I do wonder if I'm just meant to stay single and not be "tied down" I guess.
I don't know if it is beyond saving. If he helped himself with his anger issues ect, it would solve a lot. But the problem is trying to get him to do that as he believes people have to accept that because its just how he is
