I really want to know what Joel's speech was because Rob and Scott's reaction was finding it hilarious but mortifying. If there was anything 'saucy' in it - it also goes against everything she said. She said they eloped because she would find it mortifying to say her vows in front of her loved ones. Having something innapropriate being said to your entire family is waaaay more mortifying than some 'I'll love you forever' bullshit.
“It took me 8 years to have my wicked way with her and it’ll take me approximately 8 seconds later on”
OR…
“Our wedding day was the best day of my life, without question. And as for the wedding
night .. WOWSERS. So, when Carrie suggested booking a second wedding, a job lot of viagra was ordered before we even booked this venue!”
Or maybe even:
“Some people might say we’ve moved pretty fast. Moving in after the first date, proposal in 5 months. Well my friends, if you think that’s impressive, wait and see how fast I have Carrie out of that dress as soon as the last of you leave tonight!”
Any of the above wouldn’t surprise me. And yes, I am available to write any of your crude wedding speeches for a fee
“All things bright and beautiful - which isn’t Carrie’s dress”
