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LadyKate

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Babs #35 TLDR - Babs big break!

Last time we were left hanging with Babs (somewhat quietly) flouncing off into the sunset because she will be m.o.r.t.i.f.i.e.d at her Wednesday morning story breakdown over the trollz “harassment”. The Babettes are all twitching and clutching their headbands because their leader has vanished and are no doubt wondering if the IC20 has put a hit out on her 🙄

In Babs absence Manky Blanky has made a break for it and is on its way to becoming a social media star! Where in the world will Blanky go next?!

Babs big break lasted just over 24 hours! Obviously her ego started wilting as soon as she put her phone down. She is back with an autumn/Halloween display featuring lots of sexy plants because she is rabid at the thought of autumn and Halloween and is shooketh that it’s nearly that time. She also tagged it as “Stars Hollow” because she likes to think she’s Lorelei Gilmore from the Gilmore Girls. Spoiler: she isn’t and Lorelei would also think she’s a knob.

Will we get a new sexy display of her hot cock station? We all know she goes rabid for a nice hot cock during the cold weather. I am hairband clutching shooketh that she didn’t turn it into an alcoholic summer cock station to fit with her passion for the various seasons. And to give her the excuse to buy more crap. And more excuse to day drink. Give her 10 years and she’ll be on Hoarders. Mind you I’m pretty sure all of the cock station is for display only, the hot cock powder is probably 5 years out of date and has more bacteria growing in it than the never washed bedsheets. (Typing cock multiple times has made me run around the house scream laughing, currently collapsed fully clothed in the shower to recover. I am m.o.r.t.i.f.i.e.d at my behavior. Clearly I am the same age mentally as Babs).

Oh good the morning pit of doom stories are back. I was unsure how I’d survive without them. Babs has apparently been turning up to school with a full face of makeup, probably trying to disguise the fact it’s her as no doubt her most recent antics would disgust the other parents. And she’s so proud of herself for managing to be on time, do packed lunches and being so organised. Babs, you literally sit at home and do fuck all most days, there are other parents who get up at the crack of dawn, get ready, get the kids ready, drop them off, go straight to work, work, pick the kids up, feed the kids, clean up, get them organised for bed, cook their dinner and then and only then do they get to sit down and relax. So next time you’re feeling a little bit smug at your organisation Babs just remember you have it easy. I challenge you to swap days with someone else and see how smug you are about your organisation then!

Babs is dangling her impending mug release and whipping the Babettes into a frenzy of skirt flapping excitement. I predict the first one will be autumn or Halloween theme given how hard she is pushing her autumn agenda. I’m just wondering how much of it will actually be donated to charity and if she’ll use that as an excuse to bump the price up again.

I swear Babs gets drawn to shopping for tat like a moth to a flame. She can’t go a day without buying something, she’s addicted to shopping. Maybe Ste should stage an intervention and send her to rehab for her shopping and social media addictions. She’s 100% going to end up on Hoarders.

Praise the British Gas gods, she’s put the central heating on and treated us to a stupid reel about it with a huge deal being made of “don’t tell Ste!”. Of the many things we’d like to tell Ste I highly doubt you putting the heating on in the first week of September will make the top of the list.

She’s done 19 stories today. Obviously gone into overdrive to compensate for yesterday or she’s trying to show her bezzie mate Lousie that she’s having fun without her due to Louise spending the day with Katie Ellison. Perhaps Louise and Katie are sharing how best to get a restraining order against Babs and her rabid refusal to ignore the fact they don’t want to be friends anymore.

Ohh Babs, is the IC20 really in your head that much that you have to make TikToks aimed at us yet again? And the “I don’t care what you think anymore” is complete and utter horseshit. If you were Pinocchio the end of your nose would have reached Land’s End by now. It’s also incredibly childish to sit the Pumpkin right in your lap and act like the stem is a penis 🙄 You are just a giant walking toddler, it wouldn’t surprise me if you had a nappy on under those ridiculous jumpsuits, we wouldn’t be able to tell if you did. You do have the whole toddler tantrum thing down though. Just picturing Babs throwing herself to the floor in Poundland and screaming and beating the floor in anger “Ste! They’ve run out of Zebra pens! I want Zebra pens! I want Zebra Pens! Waaaaaaah!”

Poor Babs is going to be so overtired today, she stayed up past her bedtime and was still posting stories at 9:15pm. Ste best keep an eye on her and remember that she needs to nap with BTEC Paul to prevent any overtired tantrums. Maybe if she’s a good girl she can have something out of the “reward box” later.

Today is meant to be a digital detox day for many influencers but our Babs isn’t taking part. Instead she is making the most of other people’s lack of posts to post 10 stories by 8:10am. She’s determined to be the focus of attention, it’s the equivalent of her standing in front of you dancing around going “look at me! Look at me!”

Am I the only one that is offended by her describing those Jus Rol cinnamon pastry swirls as “cinnamon rolls”? Cinnamon rolls are doughy delicious goodness smothered in icing not those half raw pastry swirls with a splash of white liquid. She wastes money on them every week, they always look awful but the Babette’s gush and Ooh and ahh over how amazing they look and how they are r.a.b.i.d for them. Jus Rol took one look at Babs feed and filed her under the “never work with” column on their “possible influencers to work with” chart.

More bloody hair bands on show today. At least the shit water sandals, disgusting swimsuit and heart shaped sunglasses seem to have died a death now it’s “autumn”. Instead we get treated to the daily description of her having her tights pulled up to her tits which is probably the least sexy description I have ever heard. It also leads to the mental image of Babs hoiking up her gusset when it inevitably falls down. Oh and she also chose to share that she and Erin are off tights shopping today as apparently Erin’s tights’ gusset is round by her knees which is highly inappropriate to share and is another thing on the list of reasons why Erin will resent her when she’s older.

Babs is definitely trying to prove a point with making herself stay up later. Gone 11pm last night, she’ll definitely be all overtired and mardy today. She and BTEC Paul can go for synchronized naps again and spoon if they have any nightmares. Do you think Babs is the big spoon or the little spoon? She wore the same (hideous) dress she wore when she met Mark Wright, who had not a fucking clue who she was - you can tell in his eyes in the photos he is desperate to escape. Suspect it hasn’t been washed to preserve eau de Wright where he hugged her.

She is a grade A narcissist. A horrendous, tragic incident in Birmingham and Babs first comment on it is “we’re ok, we’re not in the city centre or planning on going there today.” READ THE BLOODY ROOM BABS. The world does not revolve around you, I know, I know, the thought of this shooketh you that you aren’t the centre of the universe. Given that you are a white, middle aged, female, it’s unlikely you would have been in the area or been a target in the first place so stop making it all about you. The appropriate thing to do would be to express shock and horror at what has happened and send your condolences to those affected. But nope, Kween Babs has to be the star of the show so panic not Babettes, your lord and master is ok! (This all made me so very angry and this is the nicest way I can put it, I’ve rewritten it several times.)

A new “Halloween HomeSense Haul Vlog” video went up. @Lady Doodle put it perfectly “THE VLOG IS SHIT. NOTHING NEW THERE!!!!”

Babs is desperate to prove to the IC20 that Ste does genuinely adore her and she’s absolutely not holding him hostage against his will. Couples who wear muddy garden shoes together stay together ❤ and because he’s holding her sticky mitt then of course he adores her and worships the ground she walks on. Ste then ran to scrub his hand with antibacterial soap to try and get the Covid germs and sticky patches off.

The Babettes silently lurk amongst us, they walk the streets looking for their next hairband or descend on the nearest Poundland for a “haul”, they covet Babs hot cock station and proudly show them off to their friends and family. Warning signs to look for are: using sexy to describe everything, being absolutely foaming at the mouth rabid for everything autumn, dancing inappropriately, carrying 10 zebra pens in their handbag and a hot cock station in their home. If you are concerned about any friends or family who have been infected by “Babitis” then please call the IC20 who can help. (Inspired by @arrenshaw and their experience with their friend’s admission of being a Babette, you have my sympathy.).

Lovely photo of Babs and Ste in Vegas with his and hers feather boas. Ste’s really suits him, I suspect he took it home and brings it out when he’s feeling a bit fancy.

Yet another “bath bomb” song. She’s back on her repetitive cycle 🙄 @houseofhoop sums it up perfectly: “She’s the rehash queen. Same shit different day.

Scritchy scratchy

Bed

Sexy

School

Mugs

OOTD

Crap food”

Doing her best to try and flog her pamphlet this morning. I reckon her best bet is to market it as they type of reading that’s best for the toilet as 1) it’s shit and 2) if you run out of toilet paper I’m sure it’ll make an excellent replacement.

Why does she have to ruin everything? She’s trying to stick herself into the group who love Emma Bridgewater now. She’s a bit behind the bandwagon again though, hopefully someone might lob a plate at her as she tries to jump aboard. Knowing Babs is rabid for anything puts me off it slightly, it’s tainted a little bit by her sticky touch. She’s destroying it’s lovely reputation in the same way chavs did when they got hold of Burberry (remember that phase? You couldn’t turn round without walking into someone in knock off Burberry). Also Mint Oreos have been dirtied by knowing how much Babs apparently adores them.

Oh lord. She’s done an advert with The Laughing Cow. Well at least we know the reason for the sexy new Tupperware, it looks great on camera by the way Babs! But that has to be the most pointless game. And so much fake laughter and forced smiles, I can just imagine Babs “Ste will you smile for fucks sake. We are meant to be having a good time. Ethan I don’t care that your bum is getting wet, just smile and laugh and show off the sexy Tupperware.”

2020 truly is the year of the unexpected, a beauty brand will be working with Babs soon. Early predictions are that Mac, Estée Lauder and Benefit are safe but a potential Poundland budget beauty line is right on brand for our Babs. Babs can the IC20 just suggest a feminine care collab might be the best idea of all. I’m sure Vagisil, Femfresh and Canesten would be delighted to hear from you. I’ve even worked out your #ad for you Babs! To borrow from #32 TLDR I suggest this - “when my foof is smelling fishy and airing it out with the fan just isn’t working, I reach for super sexy Femfresh deodorant spray to give it a little freshen up. It’s now rabid and ready for action! Ste!! Bring your slenderman hands here!! Come check out how fresh and sexy my foof is!!” - with Ste running for Brighton as she chases after him lifting her old lady skirt.

Babs is so incredibly obsessed with herself, she’s used the grid this morning to bang on about her self confidence and weight and used it as an excuse to share a collage of old photos of herself so she can reminisce about how she looked (and probably about which ex she was with at that time). But the question on everyone’s lips, was the collage made in Excel?

Ahh the elusive Miss B is going to be spotted today. She will be joining our Babs to shovel in mint Oreos and listen to Babs whinge about how she is picked on and she honestly doesn’t know why.... pics or it didn’t happen Babs! Miss B has been grossly oversold the job by Babs, Babs doesn’t work hard enough to require an assistant and she’s working for an adult toddler. She’s probably the most mature between herself, Babs and BTEC Paul.

We have been treated to a photo of Babs “working” opposite “Miss B” behind a laptop which could easily be Granny San or a pillow with a black jumper on. I’ve never seen a photo of Miss B’s face, not sure if anyone else has, so it could easily be Granny San or Babs has gone for someone even younger and gone for an A Level business student who needs work experience and money to buy makeup and whatever brands teenagers wear today.

Babs organisation tip of the day: pack your kids lunch boxes the night before, but not the sandwiches and fruit. You’ve done half a job there Bab, I bet you end up running round in your manky Aladdin pjs every morning yelling at Ste to make them, because you’re running late due to too many morning pit of doom stories. Also you missed prime #ad position there for Laughing Cow and their products. You need to get a better agent. And a better #ad plan. And ditch the hair bands. In fact just let me know and I’ll give you a list of improvements to make.

The dressing gown is on early tonight. I’m pretty sure there’s not much point in her ever getting dressed. She seems to live in the same pair of pjs until they can stand up by themselves and puts them and dressing gown on so early, she must strip off the second she gets home. Someone needs to introduce her to leisure wear.

Babs is showing off that she does actually have friends and their group chat is lit. She joked to them about starting an OnlyFans and apparently their advice made her LOL. I suspect they were all shooketh that she might share her fishy fanny with the world before they turned rabid with laughter at the joke. Babs does need to realise that OnlyFans isn’t just for sex workers, it’s for everyone. But she sees what she wants to see and is ignoring all the artists, singers, photographers etc. I for one am very grateful that she’s joking and is not planning on sharing full frontal fishy foof fanning - try saying that 5 times fast.

It’s too early in the morning for this next one, Babs made a tiktok/reel of her singing a song from Dirty Dancing with a handsome bloke. She is attempting to be sexy but it’s just desperate and needy and has put me off my breakfast. It’s not as openly horrifying as some she’s done *cough* WAP *cough* but it’s scraping the bottom of the desperation barrel. In fact she’s not scraping the bottom of the desperation barrel, she’s 6ft under it twerking away. Ste for gods sake take one for the team and shag her so she gets it out her system!

To sum up Babs #35 - she can’t hack it without the Babettes attention for longer than 36 hours, she is a huge narcissist, the hair bands appear to be glued to her head and she’s so boringly predictable with her content now. The is she moving/is she not moving debate rages, her sexy new mugs will be released soon and we are all RABID for them.
P.S Babs, step away from the Emma Bridgewater, it’s one bandwagon you are not welcome on.

Manky Update - Manky has made the most out of his bid for freedom. He’s spent the night wrapped round the Birmingham Bull after a few too many bevvies to celebrate his freedom. Once he’d recovered he went on a trip down to Brighton. He grabbed a plant friend, some fish fingers and some other bits for his travels. Poor Manky wasn’t a fan of the packed pebbly beaches but he was a big fan of the helter skelter on the Pier and timed himself to see if he could beat his personal best sliding down it. He was last seen having a picnic on the beach, staring across the sea and muttering something about Disneyland. Where in the world will Manky go next?

Bonus Babs nicknames:

@Lady Doodle - Grotbabs.

@Pumpkinspice returns - Emma Adoremeplease Conway

@Missymoo92 - Emma fuckmeimsexybiscuitsaresexyeverythingisruddysexy Conway

Thank you! My first ever thread title. Am going to celebrate by eating a whole pack of mint oreos and gyrating on the floor.
It’s the first time I’ve ever started a thread, I’m going to join you in the mint Oreos and floor gyrating! I’ll bring the hot cock.
 
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MrsBriggs

VIP Member
How the hell on earth does this woman get any paid work? No wonder her Mortgage Advisor had his work cut out 🙄


I bet you are ecstatic 🥳🥳🥳🥳
I will be much happier when she’s left but part of me thinks it’s quite sad that she acted the way she did. It was all totally unnecessary & did nothing but show her in her true colours. If you’re claiming to be a friendly ‘average mum next door’ then at least make an effort to behave that way in real life & not just for viewing figures. Her integrity left the building a long time ago.

**I think this is one of the only serious posts I’ve put on here. Cut it out now Briggs - you’ve got a party to plan 🤪🤩🥳
 
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Lady Doodle

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I actually can't get my breath 🤣🤣
Of all the things she's advertised,,,,,,
Active wear when she barely leaves the sofa!
Ocado when she (Ste) shops at Sainsbury’s
Fajita's on a Friday when we all know its Chinese takeaway night (when she's not in DLP 🤦‍♀️)
Need i go on,,,, you get my point. She’s a fake. Nothing she advertises is true to herself!!!! And now Beauty 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ From Birminghams very own Beauty Kween 🤢🤢
 
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Missymoo92

VIP Member
Brum the builder 🔨
🎶🎶Brum the builder!
Can she move house?
Brum the builder
Yass kween she can!

Emma and Erin and Lucy Lou
Ethan and Ste, 'spose they'll come too
Kween Conway's rabid to move house soon
She's fleeing from the tattle crew...

Brum the builder
Can she move house
Brum the builder
Yass kween she can!

Downsizing more, she's such a goon
But who gives a toss, the mugs have rooms
Stephen and Ethan will live in the shed
If Ste protests, she'll smash in his head

Brum the builder... 🎶🎶
 
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Loopybird69

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034ABCC3-397F-4BA6-8AC6-5A1F9EF0C832.jpeg
And this is where her lies begin to unravel - 8 months pregnant picking pumpkins with a 1 year old? Pumpkin picking is Late September/early October - ethans birthday is January so she was either 6 months preg or her preg lasted 11 months. Lying cow
 
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Cabala

Active member
I’m changing my thread suggestion to:

Ste wants Brighton, she wants Brum. Someone wake up this naive mum.


Side note: I was going to include something about Ste and up the bum but I feel that’s too far. 😂🙈
 
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Lady Doodle

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And another thing,,,,,
"Thanks for the love on my Percy Pig Ad" - I'm sure the Ad was for Ocado Emma???? They're not advertising Percy Pigs you idiot, they're not even advertising M&S. They are advertising the fact that THEY (Ocado) now deliver M&S food 🤦‍♀️ I bet they'll be thrilled with how good you are at this, NOT!!!!!
 
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Nemodory

Well-known member
So Birmingham is likely to go into lockdown again from today and I’m livid! So my autistic son won’t be able to see his beloved nanny and grandad, as they are predicting no house visiting, because of people like her. Super spreader Babs ruins it for everyone who has been doing everything by the rules from the start! Sums her up that even today she’s still talking about visiting her friends (well all 2 of them!) over the next week or so when Birmingham has such a rise in cases. She’s so self centred! Hope she chokes on the Percy bloody pigs!
 
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Loopybird69

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I made that dinner for my family a few times in lockdown when I had lost all interest and motivation in cooking after 6792 meals 🙄 and when we weren’t food shopping as often. But usually that is a kids dinner when we’re going out or having something the don’t like. I’m at home most days so it’s up to me to cook, and I’m NO Nigella, I HATE cooking, but even I can do a lasagna or fresh potato mash or spag bol or something!

Also I just saw Reese Witherspoon on Insta and she’s so pretty and well dressed. I googled to see how old she is and she’s 44. Why can’t Babs look to people like that for inspiration?? I understand they’re worlds apart in lifestyle and finances etc etc but she could take some ideas from women in their 40s who aren’t frumpy and lazy 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️
I am THE SAME AGE AS HER I am a lead in a NHS trust in Birmingham. I work officially 37.5 hrs (in reality 60+ a week) I have my shit together and I am constantly told I don’t look my age which is lovely but I work damn hard even carrying a few extra lbs I walk miles with the dog a day or I run (means I don’t have to restrict my food) and my family still have a fresh home cooked meal pretty much every damn day give or take the odd take away or meal out (precovid) by me (other half does weekends) I do lunches - pasta salad no less for 2 of my children every day for pack up and sandwiches for the other 2. In the winter they will have got food pack ups just like my other half. Because I’m not having any of us eating shit because that makes us feel shit.
she does fuck all and that’s what she serves up. She doesn't work. She doesn’t parent. She isn’t a wife. She’s barely a woman.
All she is is a twunt
 
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Missymoo92

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Emma strop loading... 5%..... Loading.... 20%.....
It's coming 🤪🍿🍿
That'll teach her for swanning between DLP and Brighton!
 
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Stimpii

VIP Member
Who mentioned yesterday about her not taking the dog for an evening walk? Bingo 😂

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