Bridesmaid help

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Chocolatelover123

Thought I would post on here to see if anyone has experienced something similar. I was due to get married this year but unfortunately covid happened so it is now next year.

I have 3 bridesmaid one has been trying for a baby for about 18 months and one always had a plan to start trying at Christmas this year. The one who wants to start trying at Christmas is one in the nicest way she has a ‘life plan’ of where she wants a baby at certain point in her life. When we had to move our wedding to next year she had a slight wobble as she has plans next year to have a baby I told her she still could it didn’t need to change anything for her. She then said she will need a bigger bridesmaid dress next year as she will be pregnant and won’t be drinking on hen do. Again I said that’s fine we can sort that

Anyway we had a garden hen do at the weekend and people we’re talking about the wedding next year and she announces to everyone (only 6 people) that she will be pregnant at the wedding as her pregnancy needs to work around school holidays for the best maternity leave. So she will need a bigger dress as this point my other bridesmaid who has been trying looked uncomfortable I tried to change the subject but throughout the night she kept making reference to her being pregnant either by not drinking on hen do or how she will be a sober bridesmaid etc. Again my friend looked upset, one of my other friends did say to her as it had got a bit much that it might not work like that as her sister is really struggling to get pregnant she just shrugged and said about her life plan again. Also said the hen do would need to change to be more pregnant friendly (I don’t know what this is as it was a surprise).

I just wondered if anyone else had experienced something similar? Can I just say I have no problem with her being pregnant happy to get her bigger dress etc everyone life doesn’t not revolve around my wedding. It is more the constant reference to it especially when my other bridesmaid is struggling which she is aware off. I am not really sure how to bring it up with her without upsetting her
 
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toodles88

I think you need to tread carefully on this one. The overwhelming thought I had reading this was that pregnancy doesn’t fit nicely into the timeline you have set yourself particularly down to the month! It’s mad to be thinking, well I will get pregnant straight away and then 9 months this will be the situation but it sounds like this was already said and she didn’t listen.

I think all you can really do is take her to one side and just ask her to not mention her plans it in front of the bridesmaid that is struggling as she was quite upset with it. It’s a shame the other bridesmaid didn’t sense that this was not an appropriate line of conversation, especially as she is not even pregnant yet but the time has come now to be direct with her as subtlety clearly didn’t work.
 
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Heyguysswipeup

Wow she sounds like a nightmare. It’s your day, not hers! And how insensitive of her to keep on yacking on about her life plan.. many things in life do not go to plan! I think you need to be upfront and tell her to be more sensitive to those who may be struggling to conceive...
 
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Chocolatelover123

toodles88 said:
I think you need to tread carefully on this one. The overwhelming thought I had reading this was that pregnancy doesn’t fit nicely into the timeline you have set yourself particularly down to the month! It’s mad to be thinking, well I will get pregnant straight away and then 9 months this will be the situation but it sounds like this was already said and she didn’t listen.

I think all you can really do is take her to one side and just ask her to not mention her plans it in front of the bridesmaid that is struggling as she was quite upset with it. It’s a shame the other bridesmaid didn’t sense that this was not an appropriate line of conversation, especially as she is not even pregnant yet but the time has come now to be direct with her as subtlety clearly didn’t work.
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No she really doesn’t take well to thinking it won’t happen. When I’ve mentioned friends before who have struggled or took a while it’s in one ear out the other a bit like it won’t happen to her
No I know I think she issue is they only know each other through me so they don’t like to have difficult conversations with each other they normally call me to tell me 😂🙈
 
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Lumpfish

I agree with the posters above. I will say she seems very insensitive and quite immature to think that conceiving will be so easy but unfortunately these are the people that often seem to land on their feet without problems which adds to their attitude of wondering why everyone else doesn’t find life as easy as them.

I would pull her aside and just gently say that you are aware that your friend, and other peoples families, are struggling with conceiving and that conversations about pregnancy aren’t helpful at this time as it’s a sensitive matter but you would be happy to discuss privately if needed! Not sure how everyone’s eyes didn’t get stuck in the back of their head from all the eye rolling while she was cruelly harping on - I know mine would have!!
 
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