Brian Dowling #2 Brian, Orthur & baby make three. How much stuff can we blag for free?

[Justsayin']

Mother of jaysus this isn't handmaid's tale. Aoife became surrogate of her own free will, and fair play to her for doing so. Why presume she would be naive about childbirth and recovery, any woman would expect it to be a tough time, who are we to presume she was not well prepped for this time after the birth - its not like she didn't know it was coming and the circumstances. And this whole narrative about how sad for her to watch on but only as an aunt, that most surrogates would be a stranger- again, all conscious and free will decisions!! Jeez!

 

[not_influenced]

I think i can speak on behalf of everyone on the thread that no one gives a flying fuck that it's 2 men having a baby!!!

 

[WhittlingIhopMonkey]

Truth is we'll never know if it was really a donor egg or not. We're just taking their word for it and I'd probably say it was a donor egg too if I was in that position of using a sibling as surrogate. I think at the moment they're doing a great job but no doubt they'll be back out begging as soon as they're feeling a bit better.

Of course it was a donor egg. He's hardly impregnated his own sister with his husbands sperm and then taken her first born child.

I know a lot of posters on here seem to think Aoife is some kind of naive simpleton incapable of consenting to or understanding surogacy* but Jesus, suggesting that baby is hers and they are pretending it's a donor is just beyond.

*for clarity, I think she is an adult who very much understood what she was doing, I'm referring to the tone of some of the more out there responses on here.

 

[HumphreyB]

I would imagine her being with her sister was a decision she is happy with. She needs to rest and recover, the parents need time with they baby.

Aoife had her own life pre baby and she will have her own life post baby.
She isn’t the mum, she will be an aunt like the rest of the sisters.

 

[sherlockholmes2]

I'm actually raging that the camera crew were allowed in - there's already two of them fortunate enough to be let in. I'm due soon and I'd only LOVE to have my Mum there as well as my partner

To offer another perspective, would you begrudge a mother and father being present at the birth if a straight couple had to use a surrogate? Or would you kick one of them out just because they can’t carry the child themselves? We have to be mindful of the fact that it’s not as straightforward for everyone.

 

[ahtisyourself]

Almost time for a 3rd thread!

Three threads and a baby would be my suggestion

 

[Swordshead]

I don't know why but I weirdly feel really sad for Aoife. I know she has support etc but she's gone home now in pain and weeks of healing and the guys get to start their happy new family life. I dunno maybe it's because she doesn't have her own kids that's getting to me, especially as she wants them. Even though I don't want kids, I genuinely don't think I'd be emotionally strong enough to do that for someone.

 

[Mammy2021]

Just saw their stories and no doubt this little baby will be adored and loved and that’s the main thing. Regardless of selling their story and filming and begging - that I really didnt like. But seeing them with the child, It would make you smile because they seem genuinely happy and I really don’t like Brian! Maybe this will be the making of him as it’ll be about his little daughter now.
I can’t begrudge a couple happiness having a wanted baby and I think Aoife will be in good hands with her sisters and will God willing be emotionally and physically ok after the birth. All credit has to go to her in fairness.

 

[Sandyclaws]

Mother of jaysus this isn't handmaid's tale. Aoife became surrogate of her own free will, and fair play to her for doing so. Why presume she would be naive about childbirth and recovery, any woman would expect it to be a tough time, who are we to presume she was not well prepped for this time after the birth - its not like she didn't know it was coming and the circumstances. And this whole narrative about how sad for her to watch on but only as an aunt, that most surrogates would be a stranger- again, all conscious and free will decisions!! Jeez!

The last few pages have really taken a turn that has made me uncomfortable. This post sums it up a lot.
Also, noone here, as far as I can tell, know them personally to be able to say how aoife is or isn't feeling. She could be having a great relaxing recovery in peace.

I wish her absolutely the best and hope whatever support she needs is freely available to her.

 

[brandambassador]

The one thing that sickens me in all of this has nothing to do with them being 2 men or Aoife being the surrogate. I had my son in summer 2020 & barely got time with my hubby in recovery when I then spent 3 days in hospital by myself (covid rules at time with newborn). Spring 2021 I had to have a colostomy bag fitted, again 14 days in hospital with no visitors allowed at all at a time of such change & upheaval & emotional trauma to me. Earlier this year I had a hysterectomy (I have MS, pregnancy & birth caused me irreparable damage) and I was only allowed an hour visit a day for 2 days.
I’ve been through the worst alone.

They’ve been allowed an extra person into every scan/appointment - they’ve been allowed film scans and appointments that we aren’t allowed to do, they’ve been allowed an extra person AND A CANERA CREW at the birth and all because of €€€€.

That’s the only sickener here isn’t it

 

[Tulipsfromamsterdam]

The whole influencer culture is repugnant and after years of it, every normal person is so sick of it. Especially when you consider the prices hotels charge for a room for a night…a room…that you will spend, what, 10 hours in maybe? We’re all paying for their free breaks, the champagne and chocolates on arrival for them all. The rest of us would be lucky if they throw in a room temp bottle of cheap water. And that’s all before we even begin with all the free shit they’re all sent by companies. Wish the good times would end for them all and they’d have to join the actual workforce.
It’s so blatantly obvious that Radisson suite is free. They don’t bother to mention it’s gifted which goes against all the so called rules.

 

[Taylor17]

I don't know what people expect them to be doing with Aoife. It's an unusual situation. They have a new born baby to look after and themselves too. It's hardly expected that one of them would be moved in and tending to Aoife. She did a wonderful thing for the brother she obviously adores. Hopefully she will go on to have children of her own. I've no doubt she is grieving some sort of loss since the baby was born. That's why surrogacy is so complicated and emotional. It's certainly not Brian and Arthur's fault.

 

[ahtisyourself]

God Aoife looks so emotional in that picture where they produce the baby. I hope she’s doing ok

 

[Ellegee]

Delighted for them. They won't know what hit them or what they're in for. New babies are hard work.
I hope Aoife is doing OK.
Edited to say, I just saw the photo from the operating room. No need to post that ffs.

That pic brought tears to my eyes. You can see the emotion in her face even with the mask on. I really hope she’s ok. The next few weeks will be hard on her physically & emotionally.
Such an amazing gift to give.

 

[overgrammers]

I still think bringing a child into the world, to be intentionally without a mother, is cruel. Equal rights gone too far. Typically children without a mother is through tragic circumstances, not by design.

Ah here, plenty of “mothers” bring children into this world only to neglect them and abuse them, that’s a seriously tone deaf comment.

 

[Hereforthelol’s]

I’m not brain fan but if this was a Mark Feehily thread would the nastiness be this strong ? Yes Brian is beyond annoying . But let them enjoy the birth. It they start milking the baby for a cash cow by all means continue the .
I just can’t help but feel emotional for them . Years they’ve wanted this baby and they genuinely seem great with with Harvey & Louis.
Again I’m not a fan . Yes they are beyond annoying but if they really wanted that child beyond words and love it beyond anything …let them to it. There are far worse out there as we read every day . They have the money what an incredible story of sheer love for a family all round . I for one are happy for them with all the sacrifices and struggles .

 

[ahtisyourself]

I don’t think the issue is two men having a baby. My concern for Aoife would be the same had she had every whim catered for by two women for the last 9 months, treatments galore, constant help and attention, constant company, and then suddenly it’s all gone overnight once you are no longer useful and they have got what they wanted from you. I don’t mean to be harsh about it and I’m sure they all think they are doing the right thing here - because really what even is the right thing to do? It’s such a unique situation.

But it’s not wrong to feel concern and sadness for her and it has nothing to do with Brian and Arthur being gay. There was a vulnerability to her anyway and the reality is that after birth can be a very lonely place at the best of times, and that’s when you have a partner and your baby in your arms. There’s no doubt about it that she will be going through it hormonally and there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that and hoping she is ok.

 

[Jackjack38]

I'm not their biggest fan but my take on the pic is different. I see love , happiness, relief.
Both their hands holding Aoife and what they said about her. I'm sure she is getting the care she needs. They seem like a very close knit family.
I'm glad the little one has arrived safely.

 

[Ellegee]

I don't know why but I weirdly feel really sad for Aoife. I know she has support etc but she's gone home now in pain and weeks of healing and the guys get to start their happy new family life. I dunno maybe it's because she doesn't have her own kids that's getting to me, especially as she wants them. Even though I don't want kids, I genuinely don't think I'd be emotionally strong enough to do that for someone.

I’m the same. I know she did this by choice, I understand she has had therapy & they have all gotten advice on how best to deal with all of this but I’m not sure any amount of therapy & support can prepare you for the feelings you would go through afterwards. It’s a very unique situation in that she will continue to be in this child’s life & I got the impression that If her life had gone differently then maybe she would be a mum herself by now, maybe I misinterpreted something Brian said though.
I’ve looked at that photo of her in the delivery room twice & have welled up both times. 2 days post section I remember exactly how I felt, I can’t imagine how hard it must be without the baby she has carried for 9 months, regardless of the choices she has made.

 

[brandambassador]

They’ve ruined the chance to really make surrogacy a topic we could all fight for for everyone in Ireland. And with the hate they’ll get for filming the birth (we all know this is coming) they’ll turn it back on ‘people hate watching two men have a baby’ when it’s nothing to do with them being gay or men. It’s the absolute distasteful way they have monetised this from day 1. Aoife seems to be loving the limelight but I don’t think she knows the low that’s coming. She is handling that bump 24/7 has been treated like their wife and moved in. It’ll be all reels and ‘hilarious ’ dirty nappy reels when baby comes and Aoife will no longer be invited out everywhere. They’ve ruined what would have been a prime opportunity to really educate this country on the laws and woes of surrogacy and I say that as someone going through it.