Break-up

[Greencatfysh]

Resonates with me totally. My ex and I were together for 5 years. During that time we moved in together and started house hunting to buy together. He went along with all of it and then towards the end was saying how miserable he was all the time and that he only went house hunting because he didn’t want to upset me and go against what “we” were planning. He’s a coward and an idiot.
After we broke up we both went on the dating apps relatively quickly, me more just for some entertainment and a few dates. After 8 weeks he mentioned he’d already been on 6 dates with a girl who was saying she wanted to make things official and he wasn’t sure how she’d got that impression we cut ties after we met up for a drink and he said he’d made a huge mistake and wanted me back.

Hope you are moving on and up - I have and it’s a MASSIVE improvement

 

[TruffleTrifle]

Resonates with me totally. My ex and I were together for 5 years. During that time we moved in together and started house hunting to buy together. He went along with all of it and then towards the end was saying how miserable he was all the time and that he only went house hunting because he didn’t want to upset me and go against what “we” were planning. He’s a coward and an idiot.
After we broke up we both went on the dating apps relatively quickly, me more just for some entertainment and a few dates. After 8 weeks he mentioned he’d already been on 6 dates with a girl who was saying she wanted to make things official and he wasn’t sure how she’d got that impression we cut ties after we met up for a drink and he said he’d made a huge mistake and wanted me back.

Hope you are moving on and up - I have and it’s a MASSIVE improvement

There’s definitely a pattern with relationships that end because commitment isn’t what the man wants. Blokes who break up with their girlfriends because they’re “not ready to settle down” realise pretty fast that the pool of young ladies willing to have just a casual relationship with a commitment phobic twunt of a man is pretty small. Similar the ones that act all mean and distant because they’re bored and unhappy but won’t address it, until the woman breaks up with him, get out there and again realise that the grass isn’t greener.
These blokes 90% of the time end up realising their mistake and want to go back to the ex. I have a feeling it will happen with OPs ex. She seems strong enough now to not take him back which is good.


My experience with this is my with my ex, he. was an emotionally abusive alcoholic and ignored me for days during term time and weeks on end when we went home over the summer (we were together at uni) it really wrecked my confidence. When he came back he carried on being nasty and abusive, tried to strangle me during an argument, locked me out of his flat one night in a dodgy area and I had to walk to find a taxi. Tried to control my appearance. I eventually dumped him after realising he wouldn’t change. He said he’d do better. I ignored him completely for 2 months his messges went from abuse (him losing his tit at no longer being in control) to begging to get me back and back to abuse when I said no (how dare I, spoiled princess, lazy stupid witch).
Not really sure what my point is but relationships end for a reason, and that reason doesn’t usually go away.

 

[toffeejelly]

Resonates with me totally. My ex and I were together for 5 years. During that time we moved in together and started house hunting to buy together. He went along with all of it and then towards the end was saying how miserable he was all the time and that he only went house hunting because he didn’t want to upset me and go against what “we” were planning. He’s a coward and an idiot.
After we broke up we both went on the dating apps relatively quickly, me more just for some entertainment and a few dates. After 8 weeks he mentioned he’d already been on 6 dates with a girl who was saying she wanted to make things official and he wasn’t sure how she’d got that impression we cut ties after we met up for a drink and he said he’d made a huge mistake and wanted me back.

Hope you are moving on and up - I have and it’s a MASSIVE improvement

That's honestly crazy. I just don't see how these guys can just go along with things for the sake of it, it winds me up. Definitely seems to be the case that these guys go for younger girls and things though, my ex from what I can see is chatting to a girl who is 19...I'm 28! See how long that lasts. What did you say when he asked for you back?

There’s definitely a pattern with relationships that end because commitment isn’t what the man wants. Blokes who break up with their girlfriends because they’re “not ready to settle down” realise pretty fast that the pool of young ladies willing to have just a casual relationship with a commitment phobic twunt of a man is pretty small. Similar the ones that act all mean and distant because they’re bored and unhappy but won’t address it, until the woman breaks up with him, get out there and again realise that the grass isn’t greener.
These blokes 90% of the time end up realising their mistake and want to go back to the ex. I have a feeling it will happen with OPs ex. She seems strong enough now to not take him back which is good.


My experience with this is my with my ex, he. was an emotionally abusive alcoholic and ignored me for days during term time and weeks on end when we went home over the summer (we were together at uni) it really wrecked my confidence. When he came back he carried on being nasty and abusive, tried to strangle me during an argument, locked me out of his flat one night in a dodgy area and I had to walk to find a taxi. Tried to control my appearance. I eventually dumped him after realising he wouldn’t change. He said he’d do better. I ignored him completely for 2 months his messges went from abuse (him losing his tit at no longer being in control) to begging to get me back and back to abuse when I said no (how dare I, spoiled princess, lazy stupid witch).
Not really sure what my point is but relationships end for a reason, and that reason doesn’t usually go away.

I completely agree. My relationship years ago was around 4 years, and after 6 months of being single and having fun with other girls, he decided he wanted me back. Not sure this will happen this time around though, his message to my pal seemed pretty certain he'd made the right choice.

That's so bad what you went through, I'm glad you stuck to your guns and said no to taking him back. You deserve so much more than that!

 

[Raininvain]

A year is nothing regarding getting to know someone, you don't really know much about anyone after a year. Just be glad that you have found out sooner rather than later that he wasn't that into you. I wouldn't even want any type of answers your not going to get them and will drive yourself mad ruminating. A lot of men are basically users who just want women for sex, company and to look after the house ,kids and cook etc. They don't know the meaning of being a proper supportive,kind partner or husband etc. It took me a long time to realize that with anyone its action that counts not words. Just forget him. Tell your friends/ family you don't want his name mentioned again.

 

[TheScarletgirl]

There’s definitely a pattern with relationships that end because commitment isn’t what the man wants. Blokes who break up with their girlfriends because they’re “not ready to settle down” realise pretty fast that the pool of young ladies willing to have just a casual relationship with a commitment phobic twunt of a man is pretty small. Similar the ones that act all mean and distant because they’re bored and unhappy but won’t address it, until the woman breaks up with him, get out there and again realise that the grass isn’t greener.
These blokes 90% of the time end up realising their mistake and want to go back to the ex. I have a feeling it will happen with OPs ex. She seems strong enough now to not take him back which is good.


My experience with this is my with my ex, he. was an emotionally abusive alcoholic and ignored me for days during term time and weeks on end when we went home over the summer (we were together at uni) it really wrecked my confidence. When he came back he carried on being nasty and abusive, tried to strangle me during an argument, locked me out of his flat one night in a dodgy area and I had to walk to find a taxi. Tried to control my appearance. I eventually dumped him after realising he wouldn’t change. He said he’d do better. I ignored him completely for 2 months his messges went from abuse (him losing his tit at no longer being in control) to begging to get me back and back to abuse when I said no (how dare I, spoiled princess, lazy stupid witch).
Not really sure what my point is but relationships end for a reason, and that reason doesn’t usually go away.

Then there are the ones who move on and get someone pregnant within weeks! I know at least 3 people who have all been in long term relationships that have broken up then boom the ex has a baby on the way.

My friend was in a 6 year relationship then her ex managed to get a girl pregnant months later . He then messaged my friend saying it was mistake and begged for her back vile ..

 

[theghosttown]

I’m so sorry you’ve been treated like this. My advice is this; dont focus on these questions for one minute longer as it is unlikely you will ever find the answer. Instead, use the time to think about how you can move forward, think of things you can do and ways to occupy yourself. It’s the biggest cliche but time is a healer and plays a massive part in this. He sounds like nothing but a coward, he won’t hold down a proper relationship if he keeps treating people this way x