BowelBabe #2 finally discharged! How long before an #AD appears on the gram!

[ItsCalledGoogleHun]

Just chiming in here to say if you’re terminally or chronically ill, you’re no less of a badass because you haven’t achieved the so-called notoriety that seems to be the go-to for so many people nowadays. If you haven’t started a podcast, been on Lorraine, become the face of a charity etc, you’re still an absolute badass

 

[bellaknowsbest]

Agreed. Lost my mum to bowel cancer and looking at Deborah, I think she may be reaching end of life care. She looks jaundiced, which along with the stent procedures, suggests that her liver maybe failing. Hoping whatever action plan they put in place for her starts working and gives the poor woman some more time with those kiddies of hers.

I personally think her dancing videos and energy are an attempt to prove she’s not on death’s door/ maybe reassure her kids she’s not suffering (which she very much will be remember) and maybe to leave some fun memories for after she’s gone. Realise it might not be nice for fellow cancer sufferers to see when going through their own journeys, but we can’t please/ represent everyone

Ads are a little annoying, but remember that she’s had to leave her (very successful) career. Ads are likely her main (if only) source of income. No matter how wealthy her husband is, no one wants to lose their independence at a time when you’re already losing your health, freedom, dignity, life.

Only time I’ve ever felt really pissed with her was the Christmas comment. I was genuinely worried about her and DMed her. she didn’t reply, but I saw the story and it felt ungrateful and unnecessarily rude, especially as I was sitting there without my mum and caring about a complete stranger!

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I know what you mean, Monique’s messages are raw and straight from the heart , no one can not feel for her , I just want to hug and comfort her.

BB’s plight is tragic but it feels ( to me) that she’s monetised and glamourised her illness and as a result I’m cold towards her.

Today is a classic example. Deborah dressed up like mutton dressed as lamb talking about wearing her mini skirt…and then Monique being a real, normal human being talking about the fragility of life and how scared she is to die. Monique is being completely genuine, there’s no charade, no media training, no PR manager steering her, no upcoming advert to try to sell something…. She’s real & honest and doesn’t have an alternative agenda….
Deborah on the other hand……. Is completely disingenuous. She comes across as being fake, it’s all a bit of an act with her now - not her illlness but in her performative behaviour on social media.

 

[Pass_the_popcorn#2]

I read it too. She seems quite shocked about the post covid ambulance waiting times. Imagine all of those patients on their way to A&E who didn’t have their consultants private mobile number!!

 

[sharpie69]

Surely it’s thousands on top per treatment otherwise we would all pay £80 a month. You see people desperately fund raising for treatments or medications.

Agree even though she is private there is still a limit on what you can claim. As she is now end of life she will have to self fund to get any treatment other than palliative care. This will costs thousands if not hundreds of thousands of £s. As an example I was on cetuxumab a monoclonal antibody alongside chemo a few years ago. This was only available privately initially so we had to pay £3.5k per month which we had to crowd fund to get money luckily everyone was amazingly generous and we managed 11 months @40k before I finally got it through compassionate grounds because my Onc was really proactive and fought for this. But other treatments are much more immunotherapy is £100,000 + per treatment that is every 3 weeks and surgery like BB has is tens of 1000s each time. She paints an unrealistic of cancer. A normal NHS. Person is offered if they are lucky 3 lines of conventional chemo after that once it stops working you are basically sent home to die with GP support. You wouldn’t be saved like BB with a varicelle bleed ( I’m an ex nurse I’ve seen this first hand it’s brutal) basically you would be in resus bleeding out and dying- def not calling a consultant to come and save me!!. She frustrates me because she isn’t honest about the fact her family throw money at the problem. I have a medical background so get this but many of her minion followers take everything she says at face value and think that if they have cancer this will be their experience, this is so wrong and she needs to be held to account for this!!!

 

[GossipBlue]

I have just read the column - out of pure curiosity. It must have been an awful experience - that much is obvious. But so pleased that as she was dying she managed to phone her private consultant. Really?!

 

[LennyBriscoe]

The truth is that both Deborah and Monique are at very similar states in their disease - both are nearing the end of the treatment they can have and sadly both are nearing the end of their lives. But look at the difference in the way they are behaving and handling the situation. Monique is dealing with it with grace, light and spending time with her nearest & dearest and trying to find some quality of life and a sliver of hope even though she knows it’s futile. Deborah is ranting on about “trolls” and trying to flog some shite on Instagram.

I probably sound a bit of a dick saying this but I made a donation to Monique’s GFM after the link was posted here and I got a lovely automated email back from her dad. Yes it probably took him seconds to compose and it is just automated but I’ve donated to various GFMs and never received that.

Little things like that tell me more about a person or people than how many followers they have or how many blue ticks liked their posts.

I’m desperately sad for both these women who are at the same devastating point but so very different.

 

[sharpie69]

I have read so much of Monique’s story now its harrowing what that poor young girl has been through.

Her parents posted a lot of updates on her go fund me page and have mentioned multiple times that they have run out of options for treatment on the NHS and need to raise money to pay for options.

I hope the people who posted on this thread saying BB was getting NHS treatment and/or her PHC was only £20 per month, which we can all get, read that and realise how misled people have been.

Just to piggy back on this I have been treated for stage 4 bowel cancer through the NHS I had 62 cycles of chemo until it stopped working and alongside this because I had the right gene I was able to have an additional drug that interfered with the cancer to slow growth. This drug initially was free but.. because I needed surgery I had to come off it for 8 weeks. This meant that I was no longer eligible as per NICE guidelines (even though it was working) on the NHS so to continue we were told we had to self fund. Until you are in that situation where it is literally life and death you don’t really consider this. We had literally 5 mins with Cons to decide so we of course said yes thinking OMG how the hell on-top of mortgage living etc would we find £3.5k per month. so in addition to dealing with terminal cancer we had this stress we set up crowdfunding and managed to raise some money but in the end we ended spending £40k we didn’t have to get this until it eventually stopped working. At this point chemo wasn’t working so I was running out of options - I know BB always says there are plans! But trust me there often aren’t. Anyhow because of my particular gene profile I was enrolled into an immunotherapy study and 2 yrs on still on it, saving my life currently gone from multiple metastases to NED. Don’t know how long this will last but I’ll take it. BB may have the money and connections but honestly if you have the wrong genes for current treatment and what she has BRAF is really aggressive being wealthy/ having PHC makes absolutely no difference in the long run. She needs to bow out gracefully now and enjoy the time she has left.

 

[LittleMissRuby]

Not sure if this has been said before, but I PMd her once to say I was offended that she made out ALL cancers are something you 'live with and get on with'....I think this was whilst she was attending Wimbledon etc with her chemo pumps attached. I said my mum went thru a gruesome chemo which had her hospitalised thru most of her treatment, and she still died 8 months after diagnosis. She didn't have time to 'live and get on with it'. She makes out like all cancers are equal and we all have access to the same treatment. No Deborah, whilst your cancer is terminal, you've had 5 years to make additional memories and enjoy life. And she should be under no illusion, if it wasn't for her husbands money, her public profile and her private treatment, she'd sadly have died a long time ago. Tries to make out like shes completely relatable whilst being completely unrelatable. I wonder do her children board at school, because anyone else would have all this to contend with whilst looking after their kids too...

 

[fusspot]

I’ve just seen BBs latest post, and started to read the column she’s written.
I can’t put into words how it’s made me feel.
I’m sorry that she’s feeling so traumatised. I get that. I keep reliving watching my Dad take his last breath, and having to put my head to his chest to check that he wasn’t breathing any more, before giving in to the heart wrenching grief. Because like many others, once Dad was discharged from hospital to die, we were left to get on with it.
I’ll never be the same, and I’m sure others will know that feeling. It is a form of post traumatic stress; I do believe that. I do understand how the fear of feeling like she was reaching the end has affected her.
But, oh my goodness; the absolute lack of self awareness in the telling of the story.
I don’t think she can help it. We are who we are, and we’re probably formed by our life experiences, our backgrounds and upbringing.
I can’t even articulate how I feel right now.
May she continue to be offered new options to prolong her life.
But I can’t follow her anymore. It’s stirring up thoughts and feelings that I don’t want to have.

 

[Vegasbaby33]

These threads are beginning to annoy me- just because some of us don't like her posts/ads/dancing etc, doesn't mean we don't feel empathy for her or wish any ill of her. It's awful what she's going through. However I still find her difficult to relate to and sadly by putting herself in the public eye, people will have an opinion on it. I wish that could just be said on here without others jumping down our throats that we have no empathy etc. We do. But it doesn't mean we have to like everything she posts or presents

 

[#previouslygifted]

The people who seem to defend BB are as annoying as BB.

1).It’s fact that the rich who shout the most seem to get the best care. Why is Deborah not shouting about the inequality in care? Because she benefits from it. She leaves those without the best care to fight the system. She is very much part of the problem.

2) Her Instagram is 0.01% awareness and the rest is all ‘look at my short skirts, look at me tousling my hair, look at my make up, look at me going to nice places’. I have never seen anyone so obsessed by themselves.

3) She’s a dickhead. A dickhead with cancer but still dickhead. Lots of instagrammers are dickheads and when you try to say ‘er you’re being a bit of a dickhead about this’, you get blocked. So people come on here to say ‘I think they’re being a dickhead’.

4) She is dying, it is very sad for her family and her. Nobody wants her to die. But people do die and it does not excuse number 3.

 

[sharpie69]

I’ll be honest - cancer GoFundMes make me really uncomfortable. I have every sympathy for families who have been told they’ve reached the end of the line; they’ll do anything to extend the life of their loved one, of course they will… but the private doctors offering a glimmer of hope for the exchange of vast sums of money are totally immoral.

Sometimes I think it’s better to accept end of life care than die in the midst of some experimental treatment that was never going to make a difference.

I take it you DONT have cancer your comment is beyond crass!!! I have cancer I have had to crowdfund. What right do you have to say my life is not worth fighting for!!!! If there is a glimmer of hope to extend my life my god I will take it. Going by your argument I wouldn’t have joined a clinical trial 2.3 yrs ago as I should have crawled under a rock and died!!! I did join a trial and it got me into remission YES currently cancer free. You have absolutely no idea how horrifically hurtful your comments are I just hope if you ever get cancer you are brave enough to take your own advice … SHOCKING!!

 

[Cariad]

I've looked after several patients with portal hypertension and oesophageal varices.....don't know of any who would have been able to write a lengthy dissertation of their treatment after a traumatic stay in hospital if in fact they'd even survived ....but that's maybe because I worked in the NHS and didn't have consultant's private telephone number to hand ( it takes time to mobilise staff required for endoscopy and treatment for bleeding varices, especially if it out of hours emergency...many NHS hospitals simply do not have these facilities )
it's the hypocrisy I can't stand....we are definitely not all in the same boat when it comes to treatment options in the U.K.
my brother died of metastatic bowel cancer and wasn't offered anything like the treatment BB has had

 

[marthaedwards11]

I agree that they probably have very little in common apart from a shared cancer experience, however if we’re talking about relentless flogging and ads then Lauren more than gives Deborah a run for her money, in fact I think she’s way worse. Practically everything in her flat seems to be gifted or have an affiliate link. It’s clearly her main income nowadays but that doesn’t make it any less annoying. Given her regular get aways to Soho Farmhouse it would appear her finances have improved…unless those are freebies too.

Nothing Could Possibly Be Worse Than Lauren Perpetually Capitalising Every Single Word In Her Captions.

I unfollowed her for this reason. It drives me crazy

 

[Ellyjelly]

Right, so let me get this straight...she's not going to share in her words her, 'incredibly traumatic' near death experience on Instagram to her loyal followers, but has written a column about it (for the vile Sun newspaper, questionable morals) and is releasing her voice notes on the podcast....all of which will incur both having more listeners/readers. Just when I thought she couldn't get any worse! Contrived or what.

And being paid for! So she was very ill clearly, but she managed to call her doctor ( has his private number!!) he just ‘happened’ to be going to the hospital, she was shocked at the ambulance waiting time and is angry, husband ‘Blue lighted her ther She was then rushed in and taken care of….then we have Monique, showing what I imagine is the more realistic side of most peoples experience with advanced cancer. She will get on a trial no doubt, whilst others will be told you are too ill.

 

[jackolantern]

I think what is most telling is that after 5 years(?) of going through this, she only now mentions feeling like she was (atleast at the start) just a stage 4 cancer patient who is terminal anyway and also that they had no space for her and were just leaving her to die.

As if this isn’t exactly the case of many if not most people in her position who actually, are left to die.

She is still so out of touch with reality, signing off about how good the NHS is, despite spending half the time talking about her private surgeon on speed dial. I really don’t think she is capable of being transparent about the disparity at this point, it’s almost like she’s so far past privileged she physically cannot identify it no matter how hard she may or may not try.

That aside, I really do fucking feel for her, what she has been through is truly barbaric and no one deserves it, privileged or not.

 

[90sGal]

Social Media creates a whole sense of entitlement doesn't it (I'm not talking just about Deborah here) but this whole sense of because I post no one can challenge.

I ABSOLUTELY hate the term troll. Yes there are bullies out there, and messaging someone directly with personal insults should never ever be allowed.

But when you disagree with what someone is presenting or you call them out you are labelled a troll.

Easy to throw the term around....but honestly as much as I love social media this whole troll thing drives me mad.

Loads of us on here through are chats agree and disagree with each other. Just like real life. Like I do with my friends and family and colleagues.

Where else can you chat about social media but here. You can't on an IG feed as it will be deleted.


I am all for people wearing what they like. If Deborah wants to wear a mini skirt why not (In fact one of my fave pics of her where she looked so happy is from holiday last year where she is wearing a short cream dress) but the seductively lying back on a seat with thigh high boots isn't a stylish look. It isn't proving anything. It isn't about cancer. And the impact on her children and husband who see her posting this online goes beyond taking a stance.

I could magine my kids reaction if I posted a pic like that!

**As a fellow human I would say to Deborah you have limited energy....use it wisely. Use it for spending quality time with those around you and not strangers in the Internet. We don't matter. Your family and friends do.**

 

[Crazymum]

And don’t forget the NHS isn’t technically free as we all pay for it through taxes. So by that logic we should be able to utilise it in a timely manner when sick. Yes maybe pay for a private consultation initially if you can afford this to get into the system, but there on all care if needed should be given free by the NHS as it is needed. If you choose to then use private insurance or private payment top up that should be an option but NOT a requirement to get a good quality and essential treatment. Unfortunately as in previous discussions this country has a huge post code lottery for all types of care, if you are unlucky to be at a hospital that falls into this then you do lose out as experts etc won’t be working there and those who are may not know who to refer to for the more specialist care. It’s just another example of how in this country the divide between poverty and wealth is at an all time high. When I say poverty I’m not even talking unemployed it’s those who work in public sector- teachers etc who need to use food banks to live. This country is falling apart!!

Exactly it’s not free! We pay taxes! I’m so over this country. It’s a disgrace. I’m jumping through hoops for a child that’s at breaking point with ocd and undiagnosed autism or adhd. He’s 15 this year and I’m now looking to take a loan to go private. Hes been broken as I’d describe him since he was 18 months. I’m a qualified nurse nurse and raised 5 amazing kids who are adults now. The nhs is ruined. I watched my step mam fight breast cancer and win 17 years ago then she got Covid in March 2020 , she was fit healthy and well and they messed her around 5 days at home saying water infection. My dad got an ambulance it took 3 hours and she had brain damage at hospital as her oxygen was so low. She died a few days later after a stroke but Covid was the death reason. She’d worked 42 years for the council and was failed months after retiring. Her first pension payment came through 3 weeks after she died. I hate this county and BB is a privileged pain in the arse. No one wants anyone to die but she’s just beyond lucky. Money talks. She can shove her sweaty Betty up her arse.

 

[fusspot]

I don’t know what it is, but I seem to be drawn to BB’s posts and this thread when I’m at my lowest in terms of grieving and questioning what I could have done better.
So I’m probably repeating myself, for which I apologise.
But I’ve read the latest post about CR UK and it’s massive achievements and about how wonderful the team looking after her are.
And - I stress again - that while I genuinely, honestly hope she keeps going as long as possible, I wonder why my Dad didn’t have a brilliant team, and an oncologist who kept in touch, and looked for new options when the ONE offered failed. Dad saw him twice in total.
Please don’t shoot me down for this, but cancer research have been running ads and fundraising campaigns for as long as I can remember but for the majority of people it doesn’t really feel like treatment is that much further forward, and for many new treatment options, it seems you have to know how to fight for trials and new treatments and be confident enough to stand your ground, and educated enough to know what to ask for.
Or else be able to self fund treatment.
I hope Deborah gets on the new trial. It seems her liver count is improving so maybe she will.
But why doesn’t everyone know about these trials?
Maybe - hopefully - this is one of the issues she may help to raise at this event she’s going to be hosting; the fact that not everyone has all the options laid out for them, or available to them.
Sorry for the rambling post. And sorry if I’m being a bore.
She’s not well, clearly, and deep down she must be terrified.
I do wish her the best, as I wish the very best for everyone on here that’s dealing with, or has lost a loved one to this awful disease x