Being mad @ COVID

[Blahblahahaaa77]

Okay, I know that my life is better than some but is it okay to be super mad and depressed about the current situation? I’m considering deleting social media as seeing all these influencers crying in their mansions surrounded by free shite and fading tans from Dubai is making the situation worse!
I lost my job in August because of flipping covid, I lost my flat, I had to move back in with my parents which has been really hard, I’ve found a new job in a new country and my boyfriend left me because he didn’t want a long distance relationship, I was supposed to be moving next week and now there’s a travel ban and they’re considering withdrawing the offer and I just feel so lost!

How is everyone else coping?

 

[Laur91]

I’m with you. I’m dealing with a lot of emotions at the moment following Saturdays announcement, a lot of them are bitterness and envy of people who will still see their loved ones on Xmas Day - I’m trying to let go of those emotions! And I’m also just feeling severe disappointment and sadness over everything in general, I really thought we were moving in the right direction with the vaccine and things being under control & now this new strain has just come out of nowhere and turned everything on its head.

It’s a horrible situation and I think because I’m not in control of Covid I’m struggling hugely with that.

 

[MaxieMoo]

I hear you. I feel like I have finally reached the point where I am genuinely sick of it all. Sorry to hear your new job plans are in jeopardy. We can only hope that next year is more positive for us all. If I could pin point one real feeling from this pandemic it would be the utter disappointment that I have for friends, family and colleagues who have broken the rules. Rules broken for pointless reasons and the excuses given are ridiculous. I'm non clinical working in our local hospital. To see relatives unable to be with their loved ones who are unwell is heartbreaking.

I'm now trying to look ahead as positively as I can and taking enjoyment from small things in life.

 

[Tabula.rasa]

So relatable - thanks for starting this space.

On one hand I have a lot to be grateful for - I finished my degree from a good uni and even though I lost my job offer, it was replaced by a better one. I got off my antidepressants and got over my abusive ex. In February, I found the courage to solo travel and really enjoyed it.

on the other hand, I’ve moved back home and I feel stifled here. I don’t have any savings (I’ve just started) so will be stuck here for quite a while. I work on covid policy so it’s my day job and I can’t escape. I’m now the main earner in the household and pay a significant amount for the upkeep. It is what it is - my family are low income.

I have a weird mass in my boob (under the care of the breast clinic) but my 2 week referral has taken 2 months. My overwhelming feeling now is loneliness - I’ve joined so many dating apps recently for little reason, which is unlike me. To the point that if said abusive ex came back in my life, I know i would take him back.

I‘ve minimised my interactions on social media - it’s full of people I know breaking the rules (as in regular illegal parties) because we’re young.

I feel like my life is passing me by and feel resentful that this has happened when things finally started looking up for me. Of course, it’s nothing personal and this is very selfish but my life has been quite traumatic.

I am trying to remain optimistic and be thankful for the small things as above!

 

[Sailorontheseasea]

I’m so mad at COVID. Its taken 2 people from me, one of whom was meant to be protected in HOSPITAL and had been for months when she picked it up. I’m mad that those 2 people got crappy half arsed send offs when they deserved the absolute world because they meant everything. It’s made my anxiety go wild even though I had it back in April... luckily not on a daily basis but even going out to the shops I now find extremely hard. I flinch when someone comes within inches of me. I hate seeing anyone who is vulnerable even at a distance and outside, it makes me panic beyond belief. It’s affected my finances more than I ever could have first imagined and it’s turned my toddler into a very insular little guy. I had been rolling with it until the announcement on Saturday but now I just feel suffocated and sad and I don’t think the minging weather is helping one bit. I haven’t seen any of my extended family since March so my February baby has barely seen anyone in months. We are lucky to be in tier 4 but allowed a bubble as we have a child under 1 so Christmas will be only halved in people and not on our own, but my goodness, it’s all so so depressing.

 

[Dramatic]

I feel for so many people right now, myself included. I'm sorry to hear you lost your job due to covid and now your relationship. I hope that the job offer still stands.

I've had the worst year of my life. I lost 2 really close members of my family within 3 days of one another (not covid related). I am going through a horrific divorce and child custody battle in which my ex husband wants the children more than me, even though I gave up my career to be a stay at home parent and care for the children.
I've been dragged through the court system with false accusations (luckily I got an amazing solicitor and the case was thrown out eventually) and now I face a Christmas alone as my family live a 4 hour drive away and neither of us want to drive 8 hours on Christmas day.

I feel for so many people who have stuck by the rules and looked forward to Christmas with family, only to have it snatched away. I know there's a pandemic, my child is now shielding again as of today's new welsh announcement. I'm so depressed and woe is me and us all. If one more person tells me there will be next year I think I will punch them into next year.

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

It’s so tit isn’t it. We are supposed to be on a dream holiday for the kids right now. I’ve had plenty of time to come to terms with not going but my partner and I still feel sad about it. Even using the refund to get ‘stuff’ hasn’t made me happy - I wanted the memories and being lorded as the best parents ever by our kids

Ive been having some really negative thought patterns lately. The smallest thing practically sends me over the edge and I end up in a funk for the rest of the day that I can’t pull myself from. It feels like every day something happens that upsets me, and I don’t know why I’ve become so sensitive and dramatic. Quite frankly I’ve been vile to my partner at times I don’t know why he still puts up with my tit and as a mother to my kids I’ve been less than great as I’ve been hiding in my room because I don’t want them to see me like this or create an atmosphere with my negativity or cause them to worry or resent me. The house is embarrassing I can’t seem to get on top of it. I have the time but no motivation or inner strength to get up and sort it, even though I’d feel so happy and satisfied afterwards, even if I make a start i end up just giving up. It’s like my heart isn’t in anything now, even the every day stuff I just can’t be bothered, what’s the point when there’s nothing to look forward to? This year has taken it out of me.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Look we are still incredibly lucky to live in this country and there are people with genuine really hard unbelievably bad situations BUT that does not mean we can’t feel sorry for ourselves.

Just because other have it worse does not mean you can’t wallow for a little. Maybe have a good cry or two.

What IS important is not to let it lead you into depression. Yes, life is tit at the moment but after a little bit of self pity you need to try and pick yourself up. I have dealt with mental health issues in the past and I can tell you from experience that it will spiral.

Try and find a way of dealing with your emotions in a constructive way. Journalling is a great tool

 

[LennyBriscoe]

With us coming to the end of the year and the news that the vaccination was being rolled out, I began to feel hopeful...I’m in Scotland and when it was announced on Saturday that all bar the islands were going into tier 4, I was devastated because at least the first time, we had no idea what lockdown would be like but now we know how tit it is.

I have a son who is autistic and has GDD. He’s in pre-school at a developmental nursery and he was already off for 5 months this year. He doesn’t understand, we can’t tell him what’s happening and he regressed in some areas. Even if it only goes on until 18 January then that’s another 4 weeks off (he broke up last Friday) and I worry what the long-term impact of another lockdown will be. I’m so worried and feel so low.

Sending lots of love to everyone, and I hope you are all still able to enjoy Christmas

 

[Belulah]

We were told we were going into T4 yesterday which meant my driving test was moved. This gives me one chance before my theory runs out. I’m so devastated. I’ve poured hundreds and hundreds into driving because it doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m a one parent family so my poor sister has to do all drop offs and pick ups for my little girl. I just want to take that pressure off her! She has her own life but spends so much time running about after me.
Love to all- it will get better, it has to!

 

[Tui]

Covid is bullshit. I’ve found it a lot better now reading and watching as little news as possible - just enough to keep abreast of the headlines. In the first lockdown I was watching news programmes for long stretches each day and it just made me more anxious.

 

[LucilleBluth]

Sending love to all. And lots of wine and chocolate. All the advice I’ve read here is so helpful.

I’m bleeping furious at Covid for all the general reasons and my own personal reasons. I had a horrible breakup right before the first lockdown, but I really made the most of the extra reflection time, went to therapy, and by the summer was feeling better. (2020 has been crappy for other personal reasons too - family and health-related, but I can handle all those things a lot better and with more stoicism for some reason.)

Now, though, it’s been bleeping months. I dated a bit in the summer but didn’t meet anyone “right”. And now, with the latest news, Christ knows when I will. I’m in my mid 30s and can see my fertility and looks draining away while I’m locked inside my house.

I know it’s just how the cookie crumbles and I don’t deserve to get what I want any more than anyone else. But it’s so hard when my friends are all loved up - either just moved in with other halves, just engaged, just married or have new babies. And none of them have a terminally ill parent like I do, and none of them have had the (thankfully minor but scary at the time) health issues I’ve had this year.

Without being toxically positive, I do try to take meaning from most things. But I’m running out of hope and philosophical mantras at this point for this particular situation. Although I did just see a rainbow. So that’s something.

 

[Kim Mild]

We were told we were going into T4 yesterday which meant my driving test was moved. This gives me one chance before my theory runs out. I’m so devastated. I’ve poured hundreds and hundreds into driving because it doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m a one parent family so my poor sister has to do all drop offs and pick ups for my little girl. I just want to take that pressure off her! She has her own life but spends so much time running about after me.
Love to all- it will get better, it has to!

I think they should make exemptions and extend things due to the lockdown. Like theory test expires and my maternity dental exemption. I think they should be extended for as long as the restrictions were on for ( they likely won't cos profit)

 

[under the ivy]

I’m just fed-up of not being able to live my life. I started my PhD in January and I’ve met no-one - usually PhD students get to mingle in the department and I’ve not had the chance. With the prospect of another year of restrictions, it’s really getting to me. I’m lucky I can WFH but it’s not ideal for my mental health.

I also have had to postpone driving lessons - one due to not getting on with my instructor but secondly due to Covid, I couldn’t take the risk of being near someone then being near vulnerable relatives. My theory is booked for February so I hope I’ll be able to start lessons again soon and hopefully pass my test some time next year!!!


Also fed-up of the arguments Covid has caused between my family re: relatives coming down over Christmas. Had enough now!

 

[Gimmethegossipgirl]

I’m feeling totally emotionally and physically drained! I work in the NHS (admin role) and my work is so unbelievably busy we’re struggling and adapting with new rules, constant new systems and ways of working and a skeleton staff half the time.
My husband and I are lucky as we’re living with my parents but he doesn’t get on with them which puts me in a difficult position as I’m always trying to either please him or them and never making anyone happy.
We were supposed to be away at his family for Xmas but as we’re in tier 4 we can’t and he’s in a miserable sulk and has refused to join in anything with my family (it would have only been Xmas dinner as we’ve got calls planned) and then it makes me feel guilty for spending time with them. We have a little girl and I’m just trying to make the best of things for her but I’m running out of patience and positivity!
I’ve also seen so many on my Instagram who have travelled from our Tier 4 area to see family in Devon, Cornwall etc and even those who have flown abroad

 

[mochibean]

I think everyone is feeling it tbh. Especially this week what would normally be a time for family get togethers, parties and fun. I'm in tier 3 which could be worse I suppose but I feel like I'm missing out on living. I wear a mask, social distance, and I'm careful visiting friends. I only visit 1 friend because we've bubbled up as we live closeby and need each other a lot! (sad but true haha)

I've done so much this year so do feel proud in a way, I have achievements but no memories. Just finished my first year at uni and started my second, all during a pandemic. Got a new job which I love, couldn't bare furlough anymore. I'm staying productive so I should be feeling better than I do but I just feel deflated. There was so much I wanted to do this year that I never had chance too, which could be worse and I sound pathetic considering other people's problems but for the past 2 years I've been loving going out, enjoying life & spending time with those I love. Having it all ripped away was understandable at first but it's been almost a year and I'm starting to feel quite depressed with it all. I've switched off to the news, I'm totally desensitised to it now.

I'm trying to ignore those breaking the rules. It's not worth it. It's prolonging this pandemic and that should surely be the last thing anyone wants.